Mom's who just need a BREAK!

Question

how do you? I am a SAHM, I have a 4yr old son and a 2yr old daughter, husband works and doesn't come home til like 7pm and I have no one to help me! Every time I think I am going to get a break while the kids are watching a movie or cartoons...to catch up on my novelas or whatever....here they come....they never leave me "Alone". I can't even take a shower without them banging on the door saying "Mom, are you done? Mom, are you done?" and my daughter's little hand underneath the door...I think about it and it makes me laugh cause my kids are my "STALKERS" lol but then I get soooooooo annoyed at times cause I just need a BREAK! and my husband doesn't help, he comes home, eats and sits on the couch watching tv or gets online and I am the one that does dinner, baths, brush teeth, tucks them in and sings them a song before bed!!!!!! Sometimes I feel so bad that I can't wait for 8pm to come and then I feel guilty cause I love them so much but sometimes I just want to slam my head in the wall and scream!!!! What to do to stay sain!?

Answer 1

I have a 5 yr. old, a 2 yr old, and a 1 yr. old, and I am currently 8 months pregnant.  Although my husband helps quite a bit, I still find myself feeling like I'm being "STALKED".  A couple of things I do that helps me out is sometimes I put them all at the table (the youngest in their high chairs or booster seats) and let them paint, or color, or some type of craft that will keep them buisy, just long enough for me to do what I need to get done.  Cartoons really never work at my house either, but maybe if you tried sitting down with them to watch t.v., they would let you read, sometimes kids just want us to be around them regardless of what we are doing.  I wish I had better advice but I kind of feel the same way you do, but Good Luck.

Answer 2

Honey I have a 4 yr old and a 7 yr old. My 7yr old has ADHD and ODD. Their father is not in the picture at all. Not that he'd do any good if he was. When he was he'd work drink and then pass out. I never get a break from mine either. My youngest follows me everywhere I go. Can't turn around without her being right there. Always calling me for things. I would as you love a BREAK but there is no one to lay them on for even a few hours a day just to give me a chance to breathe some.

Tell your Husband to step up some. If he loves you and the kids than he'll do what a Father should do. Neither of mine were planned but when the dad was around he was a man. But now it's me and 2 girl's one with 2 major mental problems.

Hang in there. Need help E-mail me at [e-mail]. I'll listen to you vent all you want if you desire

Take care

Answer 3

Tell your husband to get off his butt and be a parent.

Answer 4

It's unacceptable that your husband doesn't help. He should enjoy spending time with his own children. Definitely put your foot down on this one. Negotiate or spell out for him what you would like him to do. As for the children following you around, it's normal at this age. Try to be creative and find things for them to do while you take a break. Maybe take them to the playground, to the neighbor's house for a play date, get them some engaging toys, put on their favorite tv program or movie, let them play with play do, let them bang some pots and pans, etc. It can be frustrating, but just be patient and try to remember that they will grow up pretty soon and you will miss this time in their lives.  

Answer 5

Ahh, hon... wow.

First, I'd look into a preschool for your four-year-old.  It's about time anyway, and maybe having him out of the house for part or most of the day will give you some relief.  You might also meet a mother who would be willing to trade babysitting days (You take her little ones on Mondays and Wednesdays, she takes yours on Tuesdays and Thursdays).

I'd also look at your community and see if you can find some part-time babysitting help.  Even having a neighbor girl come over for a couple of hours to play with your kids while you get that shower, or watch that novela, would help.

Finally, I'd kick that husband of yours in the rear and tell him that he needs to be helping you more with the kids at night.  He can wait for his television or Internet until after the kids are down.  

Answer 6

LOL....

This is what's called family planning.  Before you have kids, you should've figured all this out.

It'll get better.  They're young.

And your husband needs to help more.  They're his kids too.  Baths, books, and bedtime at a minimum.

Answer 7

I used to babysit for someone in a similar situation as you. Sometimes she would call me up to take the kids to the park just so that she could take a nap. I also took them places so that she could study for her exams and all of that. It might be a good thing for you. Also you could look into having someone come by on a set day of the week just so that you can have your alone time or a night out with your husband. If you went somewhere with one of your friends on a day that he's off work and let him see how hard it can be to handle everything for the kids by himself, he might be more willing to help you when he gets off work in the evenings. Some people just don't realize that raising kids can be a job in itself.

Answer 8

You husband is gonna have to take them. He has no choice. He helped make them so he needs to allow you time to rest. I say plan on a night where you can get out by yourself- atleast once a week and either go somewhere with friends or even by yourself or even take a walk. Atleast take an hour. This is only fair. We all need breaks or we go stir crazy.

You are not alone and don't you let anyone ever make you feel bad about wanting some time for yourself. We all need it and even our children benefit from being away from us for a bit.

My husband finally got it after 6 1/2 years. Now he spends a lot more alone time with our Daughter so I can get a break. Now I admit it is much easier only having one, but heck we all get tired of the little hands under the door and the banging. I don't think I have ever got to go potty or take a shower by myself-haha. It is just one of those things. Hang in there.

Tell your hubby he either has to help out or you gonna go stir crazy.

As they say, "If Momma isn't happy then no one is happy." There is a lot of truth in that too.  

Answer 9

get a babysitter once a week and have some alone time- even if you just sit in your room and relax while the sitters in the living room with the kids. you have to make sure you still have time for yourself or you may end up resenting your husband and children to some degree. its not selfish to have time for you. it is what will keep you sane.

Answer 10

Sounds to me that you need to get a part time babysitter. I have one and feel bad when i have to call her for a short break. But that's why she is there and she also knows how i feel.

I'm a sahm also, so i definately feel your pain. It's hard to just get "away" in your own home. I can't even go pee by myself. I HIGHLY reccommend finding someone you can just give them a call and say..i'm bringing the kids over. It won't hurt and you need your break because it does reflect on them. May not seem like it, but it does. My own son has said to me, i hope you have a better day tomorrow mommy. That breaks your heart. YOu need time to study and collect your thoughts. Just so they see you as a sane person and not as some kind of monster. I can't relate to the husband thing, my husband is one of the best. Maybe sitting down and mapping everything out to your husband will help. I mean he does make the money for the family but it's your sanity that will keep them together. I know i feel bad when i tell my husband i need a break because he's out working. But our jobs are just as hard has his. Stick with it..it gets better. I'm not sure when, but it does....so they say. don't take my word for it.