Mom's with children with ADD- help?!! I am at my wits end with.........?

Question

this child I am watching at this time. Both parents admit the child most likely has ADD as both parents have it. However they both refuse to medicate him either. But for 10 hours a day he is in my care and I want to help him. He seems to be a confused little boy with too much curiosity. He gets into everything - can not take my eyes off him for long at all. Can't even allow him to go into the play room unsupervised.

His father and stepmother are strict with him and will spank if necessary but its no beating thats for sure. His mother and stepfather allow him to do just about whatever he wants to do and the stepfather is immature (and is the babysitter when I dont have him).

Everything I read about ADD says structure but how can I do that? I can while I have him but will it do any good for him if not carried through to the home? Any advice you can give me will be greatly appreciated.

Oh I forgot he is 3 years old, not a preemie, not sickly normal sized boy.

Answer 1

It's really a difficult call as to whether he has a problem or is just an active, energetic, curious 3 year old. That is a bit young for a diagnosis unless he is totally out of control. Most three year olds get into things and are full of energy. Also, if he doesn't have much structure at home, he just may not know how to behave properly. Try to have some kind of a routine. Sit down with him, look him in the eyes, and explain the rules to him. Then explain the consequences if he breaks the rules such as time out which would probably be most appropriate at his age. Let him know which things are okay for him to touch and play with and which things are not. Be prepared to remind him often because young children don't always remember and get too caught up in their curiosty sometimes. Make sure you follow through on the consequences. For activities other than just playing with toys, maybe you can play some music and let him dance around and burn off some energy. Give him some time for quiet play. Keep some coloring books and crayons around for him - you could always ask the parents to supply them. If he doesn't have the fine motor skills for regular crayons yet (a lot of children that age don't), I would suggest either the Crayola Tadoodles (for toddlers) or the jumbo triangle crayons. Or he might enjoy the preschool workbooks. My son doesn't like coloring, but I found out he likes those. Hope some of this helps.

Answer 2

Create a schedule and structure for him in your home.  It can be hard, but you need to make every meal at the same time, nap at the same time.  Make the day as predictable as possible.  Also make rules for him that are straight forward.  If he jumps off of the couch, he needs to sit for two minutes.  ADHD kids have a hard time sitting to begin with, in general, time outs last one minute per year of age.  Let him sit for a minute less that norm.  Any structure in his life will help.  I have one ADHD child and one borderline.  Even if it isn't carried out at home he will feel more comfortable at your house and should mellow out there at least some.  It is really hard to start it but it is so worth it in the long run.  Medication is one approach, but he is younger than most DR's will medicate.  Just try to give him as much structure as you can, he will do better for it.  Good luck.

Answer 3

this site will help you to learn about add a do share it with the boys mom and dad so they can be on the same page as you or share it with his teacher at his school and tell them you need help to share it with his parents and good luck

Answer 4

I agree with the second response.  Use as much structure as you can with this boy.  Find info for the parents to help them in getting some type of stucture at home.  Medication is not for every child.  I tried medication for my nine year old.  She has ADD and the side effects out weighed the benifits with her.  The psychiatrist agreed with me.  Good luck.

Answer 5

They'd rather spank him, than medicate him... Ignorant people...

Answer 6

overall, if you don't have any true support from the root of the problem (the parents) your hands are tied.

Answer 7

Meds are not always the answer, i am with his parents there. I too have ADD/ADHD and was medicated and it destroyed my spirit and made learning go from fun to mundane. He sounds like a VERY SPECIAL LITTLE BOY, he might just need a different diet and LOADS of gross motor activity. How often during the day is he outside? We need worn out physically in order to feel happy and calm. Dyes in food can also hinder our ability to concentrate. This child is inquisitive because his IQ is probally above normal and he is trying to process a ton of information all at once. Expose him to music and science, kitchen experiments are always fun.

Answer 8

I agree with what the first commenter said and I think you should talk to them about it and try telling them that spanking isn't gonna do them any good so they might as well medicate him