Mom a Selfish Person or Self-Centered?

Question

My aunt will be 100 years old in two weeks. Her two sons are giving her a birthday party. (My aunt has 3 sons, one died several years ago from cancer. Another son has lung cancer and not doing well. The other has an aneurysm and is doing okay.)

My mother should be happy that my aunt reached a milestone. Instead she would say "How can she celebrate when her sons have cancer...Also her sons are paying for her being so mean."

It's not my mother's (79 year's old) place to judge. She says all these things about my aunt and yet she will go to the party.

Only if she knows that her daughter, my sister has cancer. How would she feel if somebody said that to her? Am I too sensitive or am I should just forget it?

Answer 1

your mom is being critical of her sister? and youre being critical of your mother....

and the cycle of women's pettiness thrives...

Answer 2

She is JEALOUS - and yes, jealousy comes from a totally self absorbed point of view (selfish means the exact same thing by the way).

You COULD very delicately tell your Mother how you feel about her off handed rather nasty remarks, BUT, at her age, I seriously doubt she will appreciate or even care what you feel.  My Mother is very close in age to yours, and over the years I have learned just to pretend I am a duck and let her comments run off my back as if they were water.  I found it is not worth the outrageously harsh comments about ME I would have to hear if I said how I felt.  She is just that way, and I certainly cant change her - why bother trying.  

Answer 3

Maybe it`s old age.. i don`t know really.

But maybe you can ask her - isn`t it great she can celebrate with her sons? Even though they are not in good health , they love her enough to want to celebrate - that is what counts!

Answer 4

Tell her GOD does not punish adult children for what their parents do.What has happened to her sons is just part of life and that GOD has kept her alive for the last 100 years for a reason.

Answer 5

my advice is to tell her that your aunt has been through rough times, and by having a little fun or a break from so much worrying would help. especially at her age.