Mom a nasty, ruthless gossip, likes to blab about people I don't care about - should I tell her I don't care?

Question

This has been going on for years. My mom's pretty unstable, but thinks she's fine, and a really great and "holy" person. She's always gossiping to me about the people at my brother's school and the parish, sometimes for hours on end. I'm an atheist, first of all, so I don't care about "the direction the parish is taking," and she *knows* that. Second, I don't even feign interest most of the time and yet she still seems to think I'm just dying to hear her tear down Mrs. So and So. It's pathetic, really.

During the school year I could get away by claiming I had to do homework or something, but lately I haven't had any excuses. She does not take hints - she will keep on going like a freight train. I kind of have a nasty urge to tell her how much I don't give a sh*t, but does that put me down at her level? Plus she'd spaz out and sob to my dad about how unloved she feels and how great of a person she is and how indebted I am to them, blah blah blah.

I just wish there was some way I could make her see she's NOT the fabulous Catholic she thinks she is, without me catching slack for it. Is this impossible? :/ I'm 18, still living at home, if that helps.

Answer 1

Your mother is just trying to communicate with you.  There is no reason to be nasty.  Just change the subject.  Try getting more involved in something with her so you'll have things to talk about that matter to you.  

You're 18.  It is natural to think your mother is out of touch and to rebel against her mindset.  Being a non-believer doesn't give you a right to disrespect your parents.  You are still dependent on them and in about a decade or so you'll appreciate them and their intelligence more.  Teen-aged angst is what you are experiencing.  

Lighten up.

Answer 2

y r u trashing ur mom

Answer 3

She thinks she's pretty okay, so you're not going to get her to think otherwise.  She's using you as her sounding board.  She gets to rant and rave and tear people down, because you're there, hanging on to every word, in her mind.

Telling her that you don't care won't stop her.  She doesn't take hints. So, put up  with it. Tune her out in your mind, but say an occasional "uh huh" or something.  

Sooner or later, you will be able to move out, and that will help some. Still, Mom will still do this when you come home to visit her.

Answer 4

My mother does the same thing, I just tune her out when she starts going on about people I don't know or care about.  I've told her countless times I don't know or care about the gossip.  She's not going to stop and she's not going to change.  You just have to learn to tune her out.

Answer 5

yeah, you should definitely tell her, especially if she thinks she is following the bible.. the bible says lots about not gossiping

Leviticus 19:16 – “Do not go about spreading slander among your people. Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor’s life. I am the Lord.” (NIV)

Proverbs 11:13 – “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.” (NIV)

Romans 1:29 – “They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips.” (NIV)

1 Timothy 5:13 – “Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to.” (NIV)

Matthew 7:1 – “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” (NIV)

Proverbs 18:8 – “The words of gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts.” (NIV)

Answer 6

girl you better get ur head on straight and find Jesus. One question for you... would you rather walk with God in a peacful holy land with all the ones you love OR burn in the depths of h**l for the rest of eternity? your choice.

Answer 7

That guy is right. If your mom is a catholic, just say "Mom, I don't think god would approve of you talking about these people. It makes me uncomfortable that you would defy the bible like that." If you need to, show her all the verses.