Mom and I want to Adopt, but a big question came up that I couldn't answer.?

Question

Mom asked me what my Motivation was in Adoption, How I would help raise this child, why I chose Adoption instead of Fostering. I can't think of an answer because she asks a question so big that I just don't have a big enough answer to respond with so soon. I'm writing up a report on why I wish to Adopt and I'm asking for her help with it and she says, "Nope, you gotta answer it on your own". I'm not asking for her to put words in my mouth, I'm asking her to ask me questions that I can respond to in the report, but she won't do it...

I'm not sure how to respond to those questions. Any help would be appreciated..

Answer 1

These questions are a part of your homestudy and approval.  If you cannot answer them, how do you even know that you want to adopt?

What is your motivation to adopt -- meaning why do you want to adopt?

How will you raise the child -- meaning will you teach morals, let the child run wild, stress education, spank, etc.?

Why did you choose adoption instead of fostering -- meaning why do you want to parmanently parent a child, rather than temporarily parent?

Seriously, you must know the answers to these questions, as they are some of the fundamental reasons for adoption.

Good luck.  And does Mother mean your mother, as in you are a child or an adult child??

Answer 2

I'm a little confused as to why you and your mother want to adopt a child together???????? If you are the one adopting a child, your role is not typically seen as "helping" as you stated it. If you can't figure out your motivation to adopt on your own, maybe you should reconsider (at least for now).

Answer 3

Easy one,, it's called LOVE

just as the other post here said..love

i wish yous luck,, its very nice of you to want to do this, your big hearted and a good person....

the only other known thing would be, that God will bless yous, for helping a child who had no parents... but the thing is that also is called love........

Answer 4

because adoption is permanent love. fostering a child means loving a child until he or she is taken away from you, and you aren't sure if you would be able to handle that.

i would just be honest. it isnt about coming up with the "best" answers. its about coming up with the right answers for you... they're trying to get a sense of the type of person that you are- if you're not honest about that, where will you be when you're accepted into an adoption program and they can't find the perfect child for you... it would be heart wrenching to know you were so close...

just my opinion.

Answer 5

Personally, I think the best way to write the report is explain why you want to do this FOR THE CHILD and not for yourself. Think about what you want to give and provide for this child and how you are adequately prepared to do so.  

Motivation - You want a child and rather than add to the population you want to give a child a home and loving family that is already out there and needs one. Explain what you think it means when giving a child a home and loving family and how you can adequately fulfill these and the child's needs...

Adoption over fostering? You want a chance to permanently make a difference in a child's life? Explain how you would do that and why.

Answer 6

well it is forever thats the diffrence, however fostering could be a good choice aswell, for one thing you receive a bit of financial help, and for another you get to meet the child and experience parenting, and that child before making a lifetime commitment.

I honestly belileve this is in every childs,and adoptive parents best intrest,

reasoning, sometimes we picture something in our heads

and imagine that things will be wonderful, and perfect.

And that our child will be bonded to us instantly,

however this is NOT always the case.

Sometimes in our excitement we forget that there is always a possibility that things will not be as we envisioned them

Reality is whatever it is, and the child may or may not appreciate the gift of a wonderful family, and a better life

----

My own children, whom i love do not appreciate me, nor the life they have.

I still love them and always will, But what a parent of a child must realize, is

WE ARE NOT GIVING A GIFT TO THE CHILD

THE GIFT IS FOR US.

We WANTED this child , asked for this child, for our own needs and desires, and we hope that eventually a long long time from now, they will appreciate us.

And that because of the unwavering love and support we offered them throughout their lives, the grow to become decent human beings.

---------

NOTE:

I have noticed quite a few adoptive parents venting their disappointment with adopting, and that their expectations had not been met.

As a mother I can see how its difficult to keep that Unwavering love and support if your intentions were not pure and your expectations realistic.

Realistic expectations:

This child may have emotional, physical, psycological, problems.

Its easy to say it doesn't matter when you aren't living with this daily

Are you patient?

Are you experienced?

Are you truely and honestly prepared to sacrifice your own happiness for the happiness of your child?

Hope my Devils advocate, helps you to think of things you might not have thought of previously and perhaps make you think twice.

Adoption is not for everyone, but it is wonderful if you can honestly comprehend the reality of what may or may not happen.

Good Luck

Meg

Answer 7

The question is not weather to adopt, foster or even give birth. The question is why do you want to be a parent. Why do you want kids. You want to be a parent, to nurture, to teach etc. You are choosing adoption as an avenue to meet that goal

Answer 8

Motivation to adopt....

How do you hope adoption changes your life?

What do you hope it will add to your life?

Deep down why do you want to adopt?

What hopes and dreams do you have for the child?

Adopting vs. foster...

What benefits and drawbacks do each of them have in your mind?

What are your hopes and fears of each?

How you'll help raise the child...

How do you see yourself involved in the child's life?

What do you hope to add to the child's life?

What day-to-day things do you plan to do with the child's care and needs?

How do you plan to pick up the slack with what your mom might not be able to get done?

These are some of the questions you might consider.  Congratulations to you and your mom!!  Adoption is a wonderful thing.