Mom is not supportive of first relationship?

Question

my mom believes im too young to have a boyfriend but she is allowing it. but she always wants up broken up? is that right of her, she is after all my mom shouldn't she be supportive? how would you as a mother feel about ruining your daughters first relationship?

Answer 1

Maybe she is just trying to protect you from all the bad things that happen in a relationship. Now, don't get me wrong, there are always good things in a relationship other than heartbreak and such. But perhaps she thinks the boyfriend won't stay around long and she doesn't want to see you hurt.

And if i was a mother, i wouldn't ruin it exactly I would just keep a CLOSE watchful eye on everything to make sure nothing that shouldn't be going on was.

she is just looking out for you, don't worry.

the overprotectiveness passes.

Answer 2

She may not be ready for her daughter to have a relationship. to her your still her lil girl. She should be suportive but Shes your mom. She might be uncomfterble because she doesn't know your boy friend. Try haveing him over for dinner so that she gets to know him. Mabey she'd feel more comftorble if she knows him.

=^)

Answer 3

i'm not a mother but this sounds like something you should really ask her about. maybe theres a deeper reason she doesn't want you to have a boyfriend? make sure she knows that you are upset by what she does and says about your relationship. as a mother, yes she should support you, but make sure you can compromise if necessary, after all, she is your mother and her best interest should be in making sure you feel safe, happy and loved.

best of luck

Answer 4

Unless you are 18,have a job,your own car and support yourself, you aren't old enough to be dating sorry.

Dating is for the purpose of finding a compatible marriage partner.You probably arent old enough to get married yet so you do not need to date.

Answer 5

You failed to mention how old you are.  I am guessing you are very young.

If  mom thinks you are too young to have a boyfriend, you are.  

You are at a time in your life where you should be focusing on education.  Hanging out with your friends and just enjoying youth.

Relationships bring many complications when you are young as emotionally you are not equipped to deal with some situations.  Us older ladies and parents know these things.  We live in a country with an extremely high teen STD and pregnancy rate, lack luster literacy rates.  Children grow up too fast too soon.   We live in a society where 13 year olds pose half naked on myspace.  You mom is trying to protect from all those things.

Before you start dating you should have a few things.

1. The ability to prioritize responsibility.

2. A strong sense of self worth or self esteem.

3. good judgment.

You mom is trying to support you, nurture you and protect you.  You mother is under no obligation to support your relationship, or even be permissive of it.  In fact in certain circumstances it could be considered irresponsible if she did.  

I only have sons, I cannot comment on how I would feel about ruining my daughters relationship, however my boys aren't allowed to go on solo dates until they are 16.   To be honest I don't want to be a grandmother at 38, so I will keep a tight reign on them until then, possibly even longer until they can prove to me they have a good head on their shoulders.   If they came home with a girlfriend before then I wouldn't let them spend time alone with her.  If that ruined their 'relationship', so be it.   As a parent it is not my job to be liked, it is my job to raise good people.

Answer 6

I could understand being worried a little...but honestly, she's probably just sad that you're growing up. And maybe she doesn't want to see you hurt either. But it's not her right to take away your first relationship, or any other ones that you may have. It's your choice as to who you date, and when you date. Not hers.

Answer 7

Seriously, as a mom, I look forward to breaking up my kids' first relationship.  So will you someday.  Sorry, kid, those are the breaks.  As normal as having a relationship seems to you right now, from your mom's perspective, it's the closest you have come to s******g everything up.  Trust is hard.  A mom's philosophy has to be, trust, but verify.

Answer 8

I am a mother of 2 young children, I know they will both grow up and before I know it they will be dating, and it will be hard, but I do think that you have to let your kids make their own choices to some extent, so as long as you are in a healthy relationship, no abuse your mom probably should back off and give you some room.

But one thing you will have to realize is that you will always be your mom's baby, no one could or will ever be good enough for you, because no matter how it seems you are perfect to her. She also may feel like you are growing up too quick and it is probably hard to let you go...

I hope this helps give you a little perspective from a mother's view, and I wish you all the best with your mom and your boyfriend!