Mom says that I am ugly?

Question

My mom keeps making inconsiderate remarks about my appearances. I don't like the way she looks at my face; her eyes are critical and searching for imperfections because I know that she'll say something about my looks that hurt my feelings. Usually she says, "your skin looks horrible" (I am only 18, a normal teenager who isn't blessed with perfect skin) or she'll say, "if only you were prettier". Once when I asked why she was saying things like these to me, she snapped and said,"Why not?". I don't understand her. Usually mothers think that their daughters are beautiful, but to her I am full of imperfections. To be honest, I don't think I am pretty as well. I've sort of made peace with not being good-looking, but it still hurts when someone who says they love you think you're ugly, and only look at your faults.

The biggest problem now for me is, I don't want my confidence to be my stumbling block. I know I have a good personality (and my close friends say so too), but I have a low self-esteem. I also think that since most people judge others by their appearances, no boys will ever want to know me. Sounds silly but true. I hope you guys can help me out with my situation, thanks in advance :)

Answer 1

oh my gosh, that's terrible!! your own mother calls you ugly and says those things?  I mean... seriously. who says that to their daughter? Just confront her and say, "Mom, I really appreciate you worrying about my looks, but I am happy with the way I am. And the way you talk to me about them just makes you come off as rude. I really don't appreciate it."

Answer 2

WOW talk about RUDE!!! If she won't stop talking about your faults then start annoying her about HER faults because she ain't perfect either show her how hurtful it is! Hopefully your dad doesn't comment on your appearance too because that's just sad for a mother to bag on her own child.

Answer 3

that is horrible!!  God made everyone speacial not everyone may be beautiful but they are inside :)

Answer 4

well it sounds like she might be going through some hard times dont take it the rong way and remember she loves you  

Answer 5

Just tell you mom, " I guess the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree".  Your mom is wrong to do this to you.

Answer 6

That is really inconsiderate of your mom. No mom should ever say that to their daughter. I'm sure you are pretty :) Say to your mom that you don't think she should be telling you them things because that isnt a mom's job to do. If she insists tell her to keep her opinions to herself. What matters is on the inside. Good Luck :)

Answer 7

your mom has serious issues that need professional attention, and because of this you may also need some help. wheres your dad, or family, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers. if you have any close family maybe you can talk to them or a school counsilor maybe able to help you. but before this gets very bad and destroys your future get some help for yourself and your mom if possible.xxxx

Answer 8

when she says those thing just don't let get to u i know it sounds hard believe me

Answer 9

Maybe she wants you to improve yourself

Answer 10

tell her "well what do you want me to do?...really."

and, "well, it's your fault. thanks to you i'm ugly"

Answer 11

You need to talk to your mom about the situation. Tell her you dont like the way she looks at you and that she is hurting your feelings. Tell her the truth and if she hits you or something, you have the right to call the police. She is your mom, i understand that, but she has no right to hit you if you speak your mind. If you mom has ever abused you in the past, you need to explain to her that she is probably never going to see her grand children if she keeps it up. She might have been abused as a kid, so come at her slowly, i have never seen you before in my life, but you cant let your mom tell you your ugly and acept that. You should tell your self every day that you are beautiful just the way you are, and one day you will have beautiful daughters too.

Answer 12

tel your mom that you are happy with yourself and that she shouldn't worry about how you look.

Answer 13

First, I would like to make a comment about your mom. She's not perfect herself I'm sure of it. NO ONE absolutely no one, is perfect.

Outer beauty does NOT depict everything about you. And you dont need a stranger to tell you that.

This coming from your mom is worse than anything in the world. The fact that its your own mom should clarify. Usually, I would expect this from a sibling because I do it myself to my little brother. (lol)

Like the old saying goes "when you repeat it enough, they'll think it" If your mom calls you ugly enough times youll start to think it. PLEASE PLEASE dont think it is true...

If you dont have the outer beauty, you can wear make up. Dont ever compare yourself to those girls on the magazines. Its all computerized and fixed. I'm sure you have inner beauty.

IM SO suprised you haven't exploded at your mom yet. All you can do, is be a good person and live your life. Dont revolve your life around these comments!

Like I said before, beauty doesnt depict everything about you! Theres intelligence, personality, so much more! And see, Bill Gates aint so pretty but hes one of the most richest man alive.

Thing is, if I point out all MY faults, I would have over a million. But flaws do not run anyones lives. Its the good attributes. And I know you have some so dont think about those faults.

Your confidence can come from anything, but you shouldnt let beauty suck the confidence and self esteem out of you. Its all mental. Stay strong. Its easier said than done, but feel strong about yourself.

You'll make it far, show her, you can be happy the way you are.

Goodluck!

EDIT: By the way, those people that are calling your mom a...B....tch....uhh..I don't want to say anything about that but she kinda is. I'm sure she has her reasons though. She might just want to give you a full blast of reality? IDK, but I dont think she meant for those comments to hurt your feelings. If it is, you need to sit her down, and have a long talk about this. Your mom as a relationship problem with you.

Answer 14

tell her shes ugly too  

Answer 15

welll i say dont listen her jus look at urself and say im beautiful inside and out and if u dont hav perfect skin itz ok know 1 does. jus prove her wrong and if u dont like the way u look do somthin about it be confident and prove ur mom wrong. but alwyz remember if some1 calls u ugly they r wrong cuz god made u the way u r and im sure u look fine =]

Answer 16

That is really wrong have you checked if she has been drinking or has been taking any medicine no offense but just sit her down and say mom if you love me you be really considering about my feelings and i respect you i am an adult know so i should get the respect you do to and say i am proud of my looks and you raised me better than that and i know you love me that is my advice and i am only 10 years old wow huh

Answer 17

First off ur mom is already pissing me off. Why would she say that? JUST IGNORE HER!!! h**l move out if it makes u feel that bad. U are old enough to.

U sound like a great person who laughs alot and is REALLY sweet. So dont worry about the guys. Only boys care about a girls look. To a boy looks are s**y. To a man personality is s**y.

  And if u really do think ur ugly then wait....usually the ugly/ok girl become the most beautiful of them all.!

God bless u!! =]

    Sophia

Answer 18

Honestly, you are the one who is responsible for the way you choose to feel about anything. If you are 18 and still get so upset over comments people make about anything concerning yourself, then the problem lays with you. You are the one allowing what they say to matter. It doesn't matter how others judge you as much as it does how you judge yourself. You should have learned that by now, being an adult and all.

Answer 19

The key to all this is nobody is perfect no matter what.Not even your mother. It sounds like she has a problem all her own and takes things out on you.Maybe you can talk to her and ask her what her issue is?Is she your real mom? If so you look like her so she can't say too much.Matter of fact she shouldn't be saying anything at all to you no matter what.

Answer 20

Tell her you got the ugliness from her or just punch her and see what she does.

Answer 21

Tell her to f*** off and that the reason she thinks you're ugly is probably because she's jealous of you.  Then storm out of the room and don't come out until morning!  Then if you get in trouble, tell her to go work on her appearance cause she's making your eyes hurt!  MUAHAHAHHAHAAH!!!  Don't feel bad about doing this either, just think of all the times she's hurt YOUR feelings!!!  Good Luck!!!

Answer 22

I have a low self-esteem. Sorry to say this, but it sounds like your mom is a witch, and im really sorry to say it. She needs to realize that your 18, were not perfect, we go through puberty, not only that, but why would she say such a thing? Just ignore her, smile, act happy, and live on with your life.

Answer 23

tell her shes ugly.

Answer 24

To me, it sounds like your mother is jealous of you. She probably feels like you have a better life than she is currently having or something similar to that. So she constantly puts you down to make herself feel better.

I had a grandmother who kept putting me down because I did not do or say things the way she wanted me to (i.e. uppity). She would call me crazy or stupid or tell me I have boys on the brain. She did this to me while I was in high school. I'm 23 years old and still feel the side effects from those negative comments. Verbal abuse is no joke.

What you should do is put your foot down and talk to your mother. Tell her that her comments are really hurting you and your self-esteem. If she still does not listen, then use her negative comments against her by dressing up and going out more, proving to her that her comments no longer hurt you emotionally. You also are of age; maybe going to college or moving out would work best. That which does not kill us makes us stronger.

Your personality is all that should matter. If anything, that is what guys would and should go for. Looks are just a bonus (I'm not saying you're ugly). If you feel beautiful on the inside, that's all that matters. Beauty comes from within.

Answer 25

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." And looks aren't everything, and I bet you're really pretty. :) It's all opinion.

Answer 26

I am sorry I cannot believe she is being that way towards you..just ignore her if at all possible go to your friends for support..

Answer 27

Sounds to me like your mom is projecting all of her insecurities on to you.

Is she like this to everyone? Maybe she's just a rude person.

Don't worry about it.

Answer 28

wow

Answer 29

alright, i don't know you or your mother, but judging by what you say she treats you like, f**K her. maybe she's jealous because of your personality. you sounds like a great person. who is she to tell you you're not a supermodel? what does she look like? i'll bet you're prettier.    

Answer 30

Shes rite

Answer 31

your moms a total bit ch

and is probably just jealous that she never looked as beautiful as you. this is highly rare and shocking to hear. next time she mentions anything just yell at her and say "stupid **** you made me!"

dont let somebody bring your confidence down! or else you'll never love yourself.