Mom under A-LOT of stress.PLEASE PLEASE read.

Question

My mom has been going through A-LOT of stress with my older sister and brother. Every morning [besides weekends] my mom has to drive my niece to school, then my sister to work. My sisters divorced, so she can not support herself financially. My niece is only in Pre-k, and theres no buses for this specific one, and my sisters 28 and doesn't have a license to drive,nor a car. She has to drive AND pick up my brother & his friends from work every other day, while no other mothers can. My mom says for everything she does for my sister & brother, not one "thank you" or " i appreciate it" which IS true. With me, It's always cleaning my room. She says once before you leave your room, turn around to make sure its' clean. I forgot to today, so now she's in there shouting,and crying. My dad works Saturday mornings,sunday nights,monday nights,friday nights [sometimes] and around again. She also has to pick up my niece from work, and cannot stand it. My sisters life is the phone,the computer, and anything else but FAMILY. I hate to see my mom hurt like this. I wish that she would be happy-WE would be happy.But she says the only thing that makes her happy is when everyones' sleeping. My sisters' ex doesn't pay child support, so she has to work on her own for it. She dresses like she's all glamorous and takes a$$h0l3 pictures of herself for myspace. She's seeing people she met off of myspace, and even my niece says it. She's 28 years old with a four year old daughter. Do you think she should see people she doesnt know, off of MYSPACE? She also just got 2,000 dollars for tax income or something, and spent it for a day at the spa when my mom thinks she could of gave her 10$ or 20$ for gas. She says that this is not the life she wanted. I don't want to tell her "Get a therapist or family counselour" because what she needs is to be is less-stressed. PLEASE help.I'm begging you.

Answer 1

Look As much as you would hate me saying this, you need to just let her go, If your mum didnt want to do it then why is she doing it!!! I know you care for your mum as you most proberley love her very much, but your mum is a grown women now se needs to learn how to take care for herself. If you really need to help her though, I would sit down with your sister and your mum and say what you think your mums going through, But never ever splurt it ot one day over a different conversaton you need to have your sister and your mum there, And you need to talk to your sister she seems really lazy. She should of thought about the responsibilities before she had Her children and you need to tel her that too. Done afraid to tell your sister or your mum that after all one day you might think to yourself i am so glad i did tell my mum that, now shes not in so much stress,

Hope This Helped x

Answer 2

There is not much you can do to try and help your mom out except for being respectful, honest, caring and supportive.  If your Mom is sick and tired of being a taxi, then she needs to stand up for herself, gain a voice and say no for once.  Nothing is going to change if she doesn't.  She has to lay it on the line.  If your sister gets upset, then so be it.  Maybe it will will wake her up a little.

Answer 3

That is the price mothers pay when they choose to spoil their children rotten. She is bringing all of this stress on herself. She is married and her children are grown. What exactly is the problem here?

Your mother does not "have" to drive your niece to school and she does "have" to drive your sister to work and she does not "have" to pick up your brother and his friends. She CHOOSES to do all of these things for her grown spoiled children. She raised them to be irresponsible, spoiled and unappreciative children and they have grown into irresponsible, spoiled an unappreciative adults. Parents bear a responsibility to raise their children to be contributing members of society, that is why we give them chores, make them get jobs, if they continue to live at home, they should be contributing to household expenses, etc. But she is making them think that life is easy and she will always do everything for them.

Providing a roof over their head is more than enough. There is no reason why her daughter cannot find a way to work and find a way to bring her own kid to school, there is no reason why her sons AND his friends need to be picked up. I walked for an hour to work AND back when I was in high school. Why cant they? Why can't they pay some rent or contribute to the food, etc?

That fact is, they were not raised to be responsible, contributors to the house and to be working together as a family. Your sister is immature and irresponsible and your mother allows her to be so why should she change? If your mother doesnt want to put her foot down, or doesnt follow through, then the message she is sending is that it is OK with her.

Answer 4

first off, some quick fixes would be do as much around the house for ur mom as possible~ it might mean more work for u and that u are picking after ur irresponsible siblings, but ur focus is ur mom for now~

secondly, kiss her and hug her as often as u can~

thirdly, confront ur immature sister to at least say thanks~ well, she's an adult but a self centered one, so try to tell her as calmly as possible so that it's easier for her to accept (ego-wise). if your mom is srong enough, help her discuss the situation with ur sister... if she is too upset, then help her write them down then simply ask ur mom to hand ur sister the list.

do u have ur license? does ur bro? either of u may be able to do some picking up and dropping of for ur mom~

basically try to chip in and do as much as u can, otherwise ur mom will be doing them if u're not~~

Answer 5

you definetly need to talk to your whole family. and just help out your mom and ask your brothers and sisters to also. and u need to straighten your aunt out. tell her she cant live with u if shes blowing her money and doing stupid stuff like that. i mean, shes 28, not 15.

Answer 6

Your Mom is a "yes" woman.  She can't say no.

Honey, she's gonna have to grow a backbone and start letting everyone take care of themselves.  You can't do this for her.  Obviously she has a hard time with this if your 28 year old sister is still living there.  She has been walked over for years, and everybody knows they can do it.  Until she can learn to say no, this is what she gets.