Moms: Is this typical?

Question

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Moms: Did you have any long-time friends drop you like a hot potato as soon as you became pregnant?

It's not like I talk about babies nonstop. In fact I have alot of interests - work, exercise, travel.

What should I make of this?

Answer 1

yep, it happened to me. I did not talk about my baby all the time either but now that I was pregnant i couldn't go out and party like I use too. I think that was one of the reasons. Also I think a few were jealous, because I had a great man and was starting a family when some of them really wanted that for themselves.

I am sorry that this happened to you, unfortunately it has been my experience when you go thro a major life change, that is when you find out who your true friends really are.

Answer 2

i never had that personally happen to me.  i'm sorry, for you.  what is wrong with them?!  they should be there for you.  that is what true friendship is.  maybe they are envious and wanting to become pregnant too.  i don't know.  i just don't have an answer for that.  it bewilders me.  i hope you have others you can talk to about yur pregnancy and baby because it's a joyous occasion.

Answer 3

they are being stupid.

Answer 4

I'm assuming that these friends do not have kids yet.  I think these people just feel uncomfortable.  Keep trying with them. If they aren't interested then as hard as it may be, you should try to move on.  Good Luck to you. I know how you feel.

Answer 5

Well I guess you don't have as much in common w/ these friends anymore and not only that but these people weren't truly your friends like you thought they were. I stopped hanging out w/ my friends as much because I just felt like I wasn't as close to them, didnt have as much in common and then after my daughter was born I stopped hanging out with them almost altogether and thats because hanging out with my daughter and b/f was just more fun to me, hanging out with friends just seemed to be a waste of time ( i didn't want to miss any moments of my daughters life! I'ma little over-protective tho.)

Answer 6

No, I didn't because me and most of my friends all had babies at around the same time, my cousin had hers in feb, i had mine in march, my friend heather had hers in may, my other cousin in june, my friend from school had hers in july, and about 3 other friends had babies in August...

Answer 7

Yes, I had this happen to me. I still haven't figured it out yet. I am starting to think it is because they are envious. I always have an amazing time with my kids and I think they wish they had that.

Answer 8

No, I was the first out of all my friends to have a baby as I'm only 20, so everybody was really excited and all over me when I was pregnant. I've never had a better social life than when I was pregnant and shortly after the baby was born. However after 2 or 3 months, people pretty quickly got over the novelty of me having a baby, and I don't know I guess they must be bored with the fact that I have responsibilities and can't put them first any more, as most of them I don't even hear from any more. It is quite upsetting, I am very lonely, but I do have a handful of closer ones left (however unfortunately they're dotted all over the country at university) and a couple of good mum friends that I've made since being pregnant.

Answer 9

Very much so!...Im now a stay at home mother of two, and all my previous friends are all still in hiding...

Sorry!

Good Luck!

Answer 10

Actually, I am in a situation that is just the opposite, where I dropped a long time friend when I found out I was pregnant the second time. I called to tell her that it was twins and she was so negative and discouraging I just didn't need to hear it. She began making comments that it would be too difficult for me and kept bringing up my past pregnancy (that was almost fatal to me and my son). She even suggested that I get an abortion which I do not believe in because of my Christian beliefs. So I had to put a stop to our friendship I just didn't need the stress and negativity in my life. No matter what I said to her she argued and kept trying to convience me that it was a mistake. And as far as this pregnancy is concerned, it has been wonderful, everything has been smooth sailing! I wasn't even supposed to be able to have more children....so I see this as a blessing from the Lord! But yes I have had a couple of my other friends dissapear from the radar screen for no apparent reason.

Answer 11

I hear this happens frequently....

Not so much to me....

But I think it's important to communicate to them that YOU are still interested in your relationship and that you are not "too busy" for them and that they don't have to worry about "Bothering you".  I know even I make some assumptions about "bothering" my friends w/ new babies - they are too busy I think, or my phone call might wake up the baby, or disturb her one nap of the day.....

I think they know you won't want to stay out as late, you can't drink or be around smoke - so just keep up with them as much as you can and keep inviting them to do things with you that are pregnant friendly, like movies and dinner out.

Ask them to include you in dinner, even if they are going to the bar afterward - you can go home after dinner.

Answer 12

I’m sooooo sorry!  I don't know if it's typical, but yes I have had the same experience.  

When I was 21 and pregnant with my son most of my friends were too concerned with their own partying to care about what I was going through.  It was like "out of sight out of mind".  We all had been extremely close before that.  I chocked it up to us all being young at the time, but it still really hurt.

After trying for years and giving up, I got pregnant again at 40 (yay!).  My closest friend (or so I thought) completely turned on me.  We will call her J.  J began by giving my son very harmful advise, started treating me like a second class citizen,  and then sent me a letter with some absolutely ridiculous accusations towards me.  All this when J knew very well that it was an extremely high risk pregnancy and that my doctor had strictly ordered me to avoid all stress!  I was overwhelmed and chose to stay away from J and possibly deal with the situation after I had the baby.  J and I had lots of mutual friends, and out of respect for them as well as not wanting to stir the pot, I stopped speaking of J at all except for the fact that we were not presently talking.  J did the opposite, and actively tried to turn my friends against me in multiple ways, which only had the effect of  making J look bad and our friends questioning if they wanted to even remain in association with J.  I have never spoken to J again and never will.

My only guess as to why J acted the way she did is that maybe she was jealous.  J has a son but due to multiple abortions can’t have any more children.  Her husband also cannot have children.

Answer 13

Haha, most of mine did, and even some of my family!

My aunt and I were really close and now I have hung out with her like 4 times since I got pregnant (27 weeks ago!!!)

It sucks, but I don't even care anymore, my baby is my #1 in my life from now on so I take everyone else's actions with a grain of salt. It is sad isn't it?