Moms - My 5 year old is asking "how do babies come out?". How would you answer it?

Question

Okay, so my 5 yr old son asked his teacher today "how do babies come out of the belly?". She told him to ask his mommy. What is even funnier is that he told her this his mommy wouldn't know because she didn't have a baby (he knows he was adopted).

I was expecting the "where do babies come from" question or something similar - but not "how do they come out of the belly"! Fortunately, my husband with his quick thinking said "doctors take them out" and my son was fine with that...so far. But I have a feeling, this is not the end of this question.

Any suggestions?

Answer 1

just wait until his next questions. be prepared to tell him whatever questions he may ask. PS i kinda starred this question accidentally. oh well at least u got a free star.

Answer 2

Be honest in an age appropriate way.  You don't have to go into great detail, just a few short facts and then move on to the next subject.  He isn't ready for "the talk" quite yet, but you don't want him being the only kid in school that thinks a stork brought him.

Answer 3

hope this helps

Answer 4

Give them the minimum amount of truth you can possibly get away with, I say! Really, it doesn't matter what you tell him, as long as it is true and not too graphic. He's not going to be traumatised forever if you tell him mums use their tummy muscles to push them out. Whatever you tell him though, you have to tell him it's private and not to talk to his friends about it. Otherwise you'll get phone calls from stupid parents who didn't want their kids to know any of that until they were 15 or something. It all depends what you are comfortable with. Some families don't talk about secret, taboo things like vaginas. In others, vaginas are very normal things that girls have.

Answer 5

Yeah that is a hard question. My son asked me where he was while I was little. I told him he was in heaven waiting for me to be ready to be his mommy. As far as how they come out I would like a good answer also!

Edit--My best friends girl believes that all you have to do is pee on a stick...thank you TV!

Answer 6

the doctor answer was very good! i'll have to remember that...

as for the rest, stay as honest as possible without getting too in depth. like if he wants to know how a baby gets in the stomach, say "when a mom and dad are ready, the baby is placed in there together." and if asked how say "with love." this should be a good answer for him at his age. and he won't know any better until he's older. (for instance, a friend told me that babies were made from just kissing a boy when i was 6, and i believed that for a few years.) just spare the details until he's ready for "the talk" at about 11-13.

hope that helps.

Answer 7

Years ago I had the same thing with my son and I pretty much answered like your hubby. But...I got a book from Barnes and Noble and gave it to him when he was a little older (and could read better). The pictures helped and it was simple and "light". It talked about how mommy and daddy loved each other, which I thought was sweet.  Good luck!

Answer 8

I'm pregnant and my 4 and 5 yr old never really asked me. They have their ideas and, sadly, its from tv. Jurassic Park showed a scene involving eggs hatching and so they thought for the longest time all babies hatch from eggs. So they think I have an egg w/a shell in me right now. They also incorporated the stork and marriage so babies can only come to those who are married(that might've been from me telling them something.) Then they caught a glimpse of TLC delivery show and saw a bit of a C-section so they're expecting the doc to cut me open and take out this egg, crack the egg himself and then somehow the stork takes it to our chimney in a white blanket. Basically, I'm saying....ask your son how he thinks they come and just roll w/that. I plan on dodging this question as long as I can.

Answer 9

I said, exactly the same thing your husband told your 5 year old, then I also told him  when god decided to send him to earth I was ready for him and carry to another conversation.

Answer 10

Hi BPD Wife!

You know, when I first read your question it made me feel just a teensy bit shy, discussing this intimate detail with a boy -- since all I have is a girl. But thinking about it more, it really isn't all that different. My 4 year old daughter and I talk about penises, after all. So since he is asking questions, this is the perfect time to start him off with the honest basics, in age appropriate language.

I suggest getting some books from the library and reading them through yourself first, so you know you are comfortable with them. Then read through one or 2 of them together and maybe even leave them for him to look at by himself. A book will help answer all the questions (the pictures help a lot) and also will take some of the pressure off of you, and off him too!

The book we have at home is >It's not the stork! : a book about girls, boys, babies, bodies, families, and friends< by Robie H. Harris, which is for ages 4 and up. It is straightforward, with drawn pictures and cartoons (not photographs) and clear, somewhat clinical but not explicit language. The "narrators" are a bird and a bee (which is funny to grownups, but which I kind of had to explain to my daughter) who ask just the sort of questions little kids ask and get confused about the same kinds of things kids get confused by. This approach helps a lot, I think, because that way your son doesn't have to feel silly asking the questions.

Just so you get some sense of the language, here's the part on childbirth: "When a baby is ready to be born, the muscels inside the mommy's uterus push the baby out of the uterus and through the mommy's v****a. The v****a stretches to make room for the baby as it slides out -- and is born! [then there's a description of c-sections] You might want to ask your parent which way you were born and if you were born at a hospital or at home."

Okay, as I was typing that last part, I realized this isn't as straightforward for us adoptive parents, is it? It seems this discussion will almost inevitably lead into some discussion of his first mother. But I'm sure you've discussed that already, so just be prepared. I think I've read about (not actually read) a discussion of where babies come from for adopted kids, and if I can find a link I will add it or email you. It wouldn't hurt to have an adoption story like >Tell me again about the Night I was born< on hand.

Anyway, >It's NOT the stork<  also talks a little about "Okay touches" and "Not okay touches" and different kinds of families (including adoptive families and g*y families), and of course a lot about how a baby develops in the womb and some after they are born also. It also gives the basics of the differences (and >similarities!) between boys and girls. And about friendships also.  And if this book works for you, there's a sequel for older kids called >It's so amazing! : a book about eggs, sperm, birth, babies, and families< that gets into more detail. That one is intended for ages 7 and up.

There is another book at our library called >What's the big secret? : talking about s*x with girls and boys< by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown (the author of the Arthur books). It is pretty similar, but doesn't get into sexuality, unsafe touch, adoption, etc., -- it is strictly male and female bodies, puberty, and where babies come from.

Your library will also have books designed just for parents to explain how to talk to children about s*x, and what types of language and how much description work for what age and developmental stage. These books can help whether or not you use a book with him, because ideally this won't be a one time conversation but an ongoing dialog. I don't have a specific book to recommend here because the ones available at our library right now are a little old--maybe not ones you would find. But I'm sure your library will have several.

Don't worry if you don't cover everything all at once or if you don't say something quite the way you meant to - he will come back if he wants to more information or talk about it more. If you can find a book you feel comfortable with, that will help take the pressure off of both of you and defuse embarrassment. If you find a book you like at the library, I would probably buy a copy, so you will have it to refer to as questions come up.

Good luck--you'll be great!

Answer 11

you need to be honest. Please don't be another parent telling thier kid that babies come from the stork or something! tell him exactly and scientifically (to a degree) how babies come out. and if he wants to know about the birds and the bees, tell him! I was a lucky child who was told the truth about where babies come from, ect. but i know alot of my friends at that age got alot of teasing from the "stork theory" or any other lie.

p.s. if you are worried about your son wanting to do it too young, chances are he wont, most kids who are told the truth dont care too much unless it is brought up repeatedly  in their home life.

good luck with your son you seem like a very loving mother!!!

Answer 12

I would tell him that they come out of the moms v****a.

But thats just me.

My daughters who are younger than him already know this and they're cool with it. No big deal. My oldest watched her sister be born when she was 14 months old. She remembers parts of it too.

Answer 13

I think what your husband said was perfect. It was age appropriate and it satisfied your son's curiosity without being untruthful.

But next time he asks you could take it a step further. He might ask "How do doctors take them out?". Then you have 2 answers to give him. Some are pulled out of the belly through an incision and some are squeezed out of the mommy. .. like toothpaste!....lol

Answer 14

behonest its the best thing for him