Moms are you concerned about your girls and self esteem problems about weight??

Question

I have a three year old who I am trying to teach to eat healthy foods and be active. I am concerned when she is older she will have her peers having her think she needs to lose weight. I have several small cousins who think they are "fat" and in fact they are under weight. They say their friends are all on diets and that they should be too. What is happening to our girls? What can we do change this?

Answer 1

I hope that when I become a mother, I will be able to teach my daughters that their looks don't matter, and they are worth more then a one night stand and a piece of @$$.  I would also teach my sons to respect women, never hit them, and not think of them as baby makers or s*x slaves.  That is wrong in my opinion and is part of low self esteem in girls, and boys being jerks.  I wouldn't let my daughter get magazines, or watch commercials with naked women on them like the Victoria Secret commericals  because those things are putting tons of pressure on young girls to dress like prostitutes and starve themselves to death to achieve the "perfect figure".  Beauty is what is on the inside, not the outside and I wish more people would teach their daughters that.  

Answer 2

it's society. we can't do anything to change it. only under our own roofs. sucks, huh.

Answer 3

I am concerned about it.  My daughter is 2 so I haven't had issues yet.  I plan on doing the same thingas you... teach her to be active and eat healthy.

Answer 4

All answers begin in home. Little girls often see their mothers trying mercilessly to fit in their skinny jeans, and sometimes see them cry if they can't. They see mommy putting all this money into buying packaged food that "burns the weight right off,". We do all this and expect our young girls not to pick up on it? The very first thing we as mothers must do is accept ourselves. Only then will we make any progress in this ongoing "body war". Then the next steps would be to teach them to accept how they are, but also take care of themselves. And also we must tell them to accept other people, teach them to see the person for their attitude, how they carry themselves, not how they look and what they wear.

Answer 5

i am actually on the "other side" of the coin.  i am very tall and thin,,,and my children have inherited the genes.  my daughter has been called names from the other side,,,such as anorexic, sickly, too skinny,,etc.  i heard all these things as a young woman too.  many do not believe that it is just as hurtful as the "fat" terms.  my daughter as well as my son (they are twins of all things) both eat healthy, and heartily and are naturally thin.  we just had our yearly check up and both are under the curve for weight and OVER the curve for height.  but they know they are healthy and are happy.  we have instilled in our children to NEVER make fun of anyone,,and NEVER to call people names.  it is not acceptable at any age,,,or any size/color/shape etc.  many find it hard to believe that there are problems on BOTH sides of that coin.  i have found that it is a problem of society.  many adults make comments on children or young adults and the kids hear it and assume it is ok.  when you hear it from mom/dad,,,,you repeat it.  more needs to be done to let kids know that everyone comes in different shapes,,different sizes,,,different colors,,,etc.  watch what you say,,,have you ever made a comment on someone be it for shape or size? many times you dont even realize you have done it.  try and teach your daughter that you can be healthy and happy at any size.  the size of your jeans does NOT make you a good/bad person.  there is more to life than the size of your jeans.

Answer 6

It's good that you're emphasizing the need to eat healthy food and be active.  Too many parents go about being fit the wrong way, by saying, "You don't want to be FAT, do you?"  All that does is teach the child that being fat is socially unacceptable, and it pertetuates stereotypes.

I grew up in a household with a mother who was a high school cheerleader, and a ballerina.  I, on the other hand, inherited my dad's genes and was a little chunky as a kid.  My mom couldn't STAND the fact that I wasn't petite and she gave me a complex at an early age by being a "food n**i" and by criticizing every single thing I put in my mouth.  All that did was convince me that I had to hide food from her, and as an adult, I still carry many of the bad habits I developed as a result of her harping on me about my weight.

I'm sure you have good intentions, but tread very delicately around this subject with your daughter.  Like I said, it's good that you're focusing on living a healthy lifestyle and promoting good behaviors at a young age.

And don't freak out if she gets a little chubby... kids metabolisms are ever-changing, and they normally don't stabilize until they reach puberty.

Answer 7

I stress healthy eating with my teen daughter and healthy exercise.  If she is concerned about her weight, I encourage her to cut down on sodas and drop the number of cookies and desserts she consumes in a sitting and eat more vegetables.    

When I speak of my needing to lose weight I give her a general idea of how much I weigh based on what I should weigh.  So that I am not giving the impression that I don't need to lose weight but that I want to have a healthy weight.

When she is growing if she is concerned show her the normal weight range for her size and compare it to what she weighs.  Then help her see that the body bulges or pudginess can be helped with moderate exercise.  Stress healthy living.  My teen has been underweight and I have been encouraging her eat healthy to gain the weight she needs to.  

Answer 8

I know exactally what you mean.  Girls are sooo mean.  I wouldn't be a teenager or younger girl for nothing now.  Glad I am an adult!!!  Just try to tell her how beautiful she is every day.  All kids will go thru this sometime in their life.  Just be there for her.