Moms boyfriend trouble?

Question

my mom has a boyfriend whos lived with us for a long time. hes like my second dad. but i have a problem with him. whenever my brother does something wrong, or at least everyone THINKS he did something wrong (which is usually the case), my mom starts nagging at my brother while her boyfriend calls him names, like tard (r****d) and stuff. whenever he does, i tell him to shut it because its immature to be calling a 12 year old boy a r****d and "p**s pants" and lots of stuff like that (my brother isnt retarded, and he has a bladder problem so he has to wear diapers when he goes to bed). of course, my moms boyfriend starts yelling at me to shut up and mind my own business and that what he says is true, then my mom gets involved, and tells me to go upstairs and be quiet, then she usually gets on to him for calling my brother names. i mean, honestly, how immature is it for a 45 year old man to be calling a 13 year old boy names and talking about him behind his back (he does that too). but the thing is, is that this keeps happening and its getting ANNOYING!!!! plus my brother is entering middle school so his self esteem level could get really low. what should i do?

Answer 1

The one with the big lack of self esteem is your moms boyfriend.  Apparently he feels worthless and talking to your brother like that makes him feel like a "big man" to himself.  I think your mother may have a self esteem problem also to allow ANYONE to talk to her child like that and stay with him.  She is sacrificing her son to have a man.

Answer 2

sit down with your mom and her boyfriend and tell how you and your brother feel and your mom's boyfriend is wrong for calling your brother a r****d and p**s pants and your mom's boyfriend rude ok and her boyfriend is immatuer too  

Answer 3

i cant help u there but self esteem is nuthin it barley does anything but cause probs(i just ignore it) im 13 ppl say that i have no self esteem (they also say i have no soul) why do u worry take the prob to your mom if she reely loves u and your bro then she'll tell him to stop or leave cuz thats not right

(i like to block things out i do it all the time i blocked out almost my whole life like one time when i was 2 and my dad left and now im answering this question)

Answer 4

maybe you could suggest to your mom and her boyfriend that your father might want to know about the emotional abuse your brother is going through at their hands.  your brother might tell your father what is going on himself.  

it sounds like your mother and her boyfried do not have the sense god gave a duck.

meanwhile, let your brother know you love him and that he's a good person.  You might tell him some adults have problems which cause them to take out anger on innocent people.  because it's true.

sending love and hugs.

Answer 5

I feel bad for you and your brother, try talking to your mom alone( no boyfriend with her) or maybe help your brother get his self esteem back

Answer 6

You're right he has NO business making fun of your brothers problems. Unfortunately it's not going to stop until MOM makes him stop. Talk to mom, one on one.. explain that it's hurting brother to hear her boyfriends hateful words, that what he's doing CAN, IS and WILL, cause permanent damage to your brothers emotional well being. Tell her she NEEDS to control her boyfriend.. if she can't or won't.. then it may be time to look to outside help.

It may sound harsh, but if mom doesn't change what her boyfriend is saying to her own son.. go to dad, or grandmother, or.. yes, Child Protective Services. What he's doing, and saying.. and what mom is allowing, is called Verbal & Emotional Abuse. And your brother does NOT deserve it.