Moms....if I were your daughter, would you let me date?

Question

I'm 13 and going into the eight grade. I will be 14 in December and my mom doesn't want me to date. I am responible, I'm a straight A student, I have good judgement, I have recieved many awards and scholarships because of my academic achievements, and I have never gotten in trouble at school or anything. I go to a private school and I have known all of the boys in my class since kindergarden and my parents know them well, also. As I said I am responsible, I wouldn't go kissing boys (I don't think I would want to until hgh school), and I intend to stick to my Catholic belifs and remain a virgin until I'm married. Many of the other girls in my class have boyfriends, but my mom thinks girls shouldn't date until high school. Would you let me date considering I know all the boys really well and I'm very, very responible?

Answer 1

i think you should be able to, sit down with your mum and tell her everything you just told us, you can't no your not going to kiss a boy because when your in a relationship your feelings will change, you seem very mature and level headed for a girl of your age so if i was your mum i would let you date, just explain to her how much you respect her wishes and your religion and dating is what girls do, because your mum has had more relationship experience I'm sure she is just trying to protect you from all those not so nice guys but i think if you explain to her what dating means to you (movies, dinner etc) she might lighten up abit, try suggesting that she meets the guy before you become an official couple and if she does not like him then you wont date him, eventuly you will build up the trust with her and before you no it you'll have yourself a partner. hope it helps and good luck! x  

Answer 2

haha. no  

Answer 3

I am not a mom yet but I plan on doing what my mom did.  No dating until 16.  A date consist of a boy picking you up from the house and then returning you to the house- just the two of you.  I was allowed to have a boyfriend from a younger age.  The boyfriend could come to my house when my parents were home.  Around age 15 I had a boyfriend and my mom would drop me off at his house but had to verify that his mom was home and was going to be supervising.  Then she would pick me up when dinner or studying was finished.  

I was a good kid (not straight A's so good for you and keep it up; that’s awesome) and never got into trouble with boys.  I knew how to set boundaries with my boyfriends and was clear on what I would and wouldn't do.  Talk to your mom and see what you can negotiate with her.  Ask her why you cannot date until high school.  Is it just the s*x thing or does she have other reservations?

Good Luck!

Answer 4

No I wouldn't let you date. When you are in high school I think is an acceptable rule. Just be patient, life goes fast enough. Be a kid while you still can. Life always gets more complicated when relationships start use this time to be with your friends and be carefree! I know you want to just grow up because we all do but you'll love your life so much more if you just live each day.

Answer 5

No. You may go out with groups of kids your age, with a parent present. Your mother is right.

Your mother is helping you avoid a lot of drama and pointless heartache.  

Answer 6

Dating no but I'd gladly allow you to be good friends with the boys. Dating  comes with a lot of stress and responsibilities. At your age you dont need or want those in your life, trust me. Just settle for being friends with these boys. You might find yourself a life long friend.

Answer 7

ahah im not a mom but 15 so if i was a mom i would say your too young and the boys will get in your pants  

Answer 8

i would probably let you go on group dates but not alone on date until u were 14 going on 15 in high school maybe even 16 considering how i was as a kid

Answer 9

If I was your parent, NO. You have been HELD BACK!

Answer 10

No, I wouldn't let you date at 13, it's too young regardless of how responsible you might be.

Answer 11

nope, sweetie...because it's not just about what you think of these situations, but what the boys think as well. And I guarantee you they are thinking something different than you are. they are not horrible...just normal. But your mom knows normal and needs to do what's best for you. I know it's hard sometimes, but you've got to trust her.  

Answer 12

I only read the first sentence before I made up my mind. I did read the rest of your story though.

The short answer is: NO. You don't need to date at that age. You don't KNOW you won't kiss a boy. You honestly don't know. Did you know you can get oral herpes and have cold sores on your face just from kissing? Boys can really pressure girls into doing things by throwing around the word "love". You only have to wait one year, so don't rush into it unless you really find Mr. Right.

If you meet a boy who you realllllly like and he asks you out, bring him home to meet your parents. Promise your parents that you two will behave. Accept that kissing will happen if you are dating.

Answer 13

you shoulde definitly be able to date! and with youre exelent acedimic acheevments, that should show that you are definitly responsible enough!

Answer 14

not at 13......no...I think 15 would be the starting age. a group of you going to the movies is fine but dating isn't something you should be worrying about right now.

Answer 15

You are a child and children do not "date".

Answer 16

Yes, I think it's a natural thing for kids to date honestly. it makes it not so akward when relationships actually get serious! It's kind of like buying a car before you test drive it. Just talk to her and tell her the things that you just told all of us on here.

Answer 17

You need to use reverse psychology here. Say "Mom, I completely understand why you don't want me to date; I see other people my age getting into situations I would never want to be in. I am happy to just go out in groups." Now, you seem very responsible and grownup - plus you are agreeing with her, which they love. Then, be happy to go out in groups - if you like a boy, sit next to him and hold hands while you are there. Ahhh, I remember how terribly exciting that was...enjoy the fresh innocence of it all, sweetie - it'll take a h**l of a lot more than that when you grow up.

P.S. I'm a good Catholic girl too, and I kissed plenty of boys. In fact Catholic girls are kinda known for that! Haha - put a dime between your knees and hold it there!

Answer 18

No I wouldn't let you date until you were old enough to raise a child in the event you had premartial s*x and ended up with a child. Now going out with your female friends I would allow..but not on a date with a boy by yourself. A group date, possibly. As long as the whole group stuck together.

Answer 19

i would but i dont think it you, its the boys

Answer 20

no, maybe if you keep the good work, when you are 15 or 16

Answer 21

i would but  you would have a chaperon. ( a trusted adult follow behind you to make sure nothing bad happens )

bad can include mugging stalker or pervert stranger.

I'm 18 though and not a parent but thats how i think

Answer 22

I think you sound like a sweetheart and a wonderful daughter, and no, I wouldn't let you go on dates in a one-on-one situation.  You can have a boyfriend at your age - goodness knows I did and so did my daughter - but keeping in group activities  or doing things with your family or your boyfriend's family is a better option at your age than actual dating.

When I was 14, I had a boyfriend at church.  His parents and my parents grew up together - his dad used to date one of my mom's sisters!  So my parents knew this boy's character, and knew he was a good person.  He was allowed to pick me up to take me to church services, and he was allowed to bring me back home and spend the afternoon with us or he could take me to spend the afternoon with his family.  And since he could drive, he was allowed to go on one-on-one dates.  I wasn't allowed.  But we enjoyed going to church and to youth group activities, and we loved each other's families.  It didn't bother either of us that we weren't allowed to go on a date by ourselves.  

My parents were trying to protect me from getting into situations that I wouldn't understand or wasn't ready to handle.  They knew that having a boyfriend and staying in group settings would keep us out of questionable situations.  They also knew that having a boyfriend and staying in group settings would help me to learn about dating and how to behave and how to treat a boyfriend, and would make the transition to single dating easier.

That's all your parents are doing, too.  They aren't being mean or evil or unreasonable - they're protecting their daughter until she's gained the maturity and wisdom to know when to protect herself.

Now go to school dances or dinner, hold hands with your sweetheart, slow dance a time or two.  Go roller skating or ice skating with him and a bunch of friends.  And enjoy these group "dates", because these are the friends and the events that will make up some of your favorite memories in years to come.  Your parents will start easing up in a couple of years.  It sounds like forever, but it will go by faster than you think.

Answer 23

of course you can if i were your mother. yes i will let you go on dates or to the movies like you say.

tell her that she can go pick you up from your friends house,  call her every 3 hours, tell her that she can trust you.

and dont kiss yet till high school and virgin until married.

i will love to have a daughter like u

Answer 24

Well, if you are that responsible then ya, I would definatley let you date.

I know that I would be able to trust you, and since I would know the boys then I definatley think that that would be okay. As long as I know where you were going and what you were doing then I would let you go.

I mean, it would just be like going out with one of your friends. Try to explain it to your mom. I think that you are old enough to experience some freedom.

Hope I helped!

Answer 25

I think that 13 is too young to date.  While your responsible behavior is certainly marks to your credit as a young woman, there are still some age guidelines that need to be respected.  

At 13, I would consider allowing you to go to the movies with a group of friends (boys and girls) or go to some sort of supervised young teen activity with mixed gender company.  

But 13 still is too young for 1 on 1 dating, in my opinion.  

Best of luck to you!

Answer 26

I'm a mom, my daugther is 14 and will be a Freshmen this year. She will not be allowed to date until she is 16. She's a good kid, but she is growing up fast and dating right now is not going to be an option. I have my reasons and I'm sure your mother has hers. Trust me the boys will still be there when you are older. What is the rush?