Moms that have separated from baby's father?

Question

My daughter is almost 5 months and her father and I have decided that he and I cannot live together happily anymore, and we feel it would be more detrimental to her if we're always fighting than if we were amicably separated.

My baby and I will be moving 8 hours away and we are trying to figure out what would be a good schedule for him to see her. I feel pretty confident in my choice, but I'm also quite nervous, I've been with him for 5 years and I'm trying to prepare myself and my daughter for us leaving. To moms that have done something similar to this, how did you feel, where you happier after you left? Did you find yourself wishing you would have stayed? offer me some advice please

Answer 1

i hope you have permission from the court. you can not move so far that it will impede the fathers visitation!!!

if he fights you going , you will not be able to move.

personally, i think it is not fair to the child to take him so far from the father!!!

Answer 2

If you are fighting all of the time you are not doing that child any good by staying.

Make sure the baby has a good relationship with his dad and NEVER EVER let the anger build up in front of the child...

Answer 3

i was so much happier after i left him. My baby turned out perfect so don't worry about her. No regret for leaving him. You go girl do whatever makes you happy follow your heart k?

Answer 4

I'm not a mother, but I think it better that you ask yourself these questions, because people can give advice about their situation but it may be very different from your own. Do you think you will be happier after you leave, will you feel alone? Will you find yourself in another relationship quickly or how long will it take for you to find the right ONE again? Then you have to think about your kids, who do you want around your kids - because sometime you think you know a person and find out they are a little bit different then you realize. So Either you stay on your side of the fence where the grass is green, or you go to an open prairie where anything grows, and a lot of the things be wild. Since you guys are just fighting, you probably can talk about your feelings with him and get to the bottom of the new hate you guys have accrued for eachother. I'm sure if you are both reasonable people you will be able to come to some type of understanding.

Answer 5

I just want to wish you luck in this. You are very strong for actually moving on and not draggin out a dead relationship.

I come from a "broken home" and let me tell you, I watched my parents fight for WAY too many years. It made them both look bad.

If they'd just seperated earlier...i'm sure it would have been easier so you are making the right decision.

My mum was a lot happier once she left and i've spoken to a lot of single mums who are loving their new life.

Best wishes to you and your daughter.

Answer 6

if your happier its worth it. my ex lives 12 hrs away our son is 13 now . he goes to his father every other x-mas and 6 wk in the summer because of school. gl it tough but you'll be fine

Answer 7

I am a single mom and the first thing I want to say is atleast try to make it work. A relationship that's sucessful is hard work and its no easy job.

If you cannot come to terms then yes it would be fine to separate. IMO its better to be single then to be in a unhealthy relationship especially when your truely unhappy. My daughter was about two years old when her dad and I broke up I never looked back he has moved on with his life and so have I. I dont regret anything. In the end you need to go with your heart of hearts because if its meant to be it will be.....even if you decide to brake up now maybe things will change for the better once your separate you just never know.

Follow your gut? To answer your question yes I am very happy and proud to be making the absolute best of single motherhood!

Answer 8

To be honest, 5 years is a very long time just to let a relationship go. But like me and everyone else, we don't know the full situation and the complete reason. But, I believe that maybe you two should get couples counseling and maybe learn to work with each other instead of against each other. You said you feel "pretty confident". That's not enough. You have to be 100% sure because this is a big step for you and your family. If things are really bad and you do decide to leave just make sure that you keep in touch with your daughter's father. Maybe twice a month she should be able to see him. Once out of the month you can go over their and once out of the month he can go over there to visit. I hope I helped and I really wish you guys good luck. Also, I'm a mom and me and my daughter's father have split up. I feel better than ever because I found someone who loves me more than he ever did. But that's because he was never really in love. I just thought he was.