Moms to teenagers, please help me!?

Question

I am 16, and I need advise about my mother. I am not trying to talk down about her, everything I am saying is the truth, and the way I feel.

My mom told me that she was abused by my grandmother, but I always remember her being the most loving person i the world. Even to my mom. So I am not sure if I should beliver her. But she always told me when I was little that she never wants to be anything like my grandma. but in my eyes, she is worse then any story I have heard abut her.

She is a very 2faced person. When my boyfriend is here, she will say "Rachel, your 16! Go out of the house! Have fun!" But when I ask her, she yells at me and says that all I do is think about myself, and I never do anything to help her. But I do! I clean the house (exept her room and bathroom), feed all the animals(dogs, cats, rabbits, chickens, rats, turtles, birds,fish and ducks) cook for the family, clean up her messes and more. I do not understand why she does not see anything that I do! And If I forget something, like a rabbits water, she takes my phone, and grownds me for a week!

I do not feel like i can talk to her about ANYTHING. She does not know me at all. When she does cook, she makes food that I can not eat, so I end up not eating that day.And when she goes shopping, all she gets is ice cream and yogurt. She lays in bed all day and eats. And then she gets mad that my boyfriend brings me food. And when she sees that, she yells and says that he is pus*sy whipped.

She always calls me lazy, and dirty, and says that I do not do anything around the house or for anybody else.

Last night, we went to best buy, and she bought a big, flat screen tv, tivo, and more for her new room. And she just looked at me, and said... and I am not lying "you can have the old sh*t. you dont deserve anything nice."

One day she will tell me that she loves me more then anything in the world, and the next she will slap me, and tell me I am worthless. This has been going on science i was 5. We used to get into PHYSICAL fights. We both have scars from eachother, and when ever anybody rases their hand, I flinch. She always tells me that she is a good mom, but I am just the bad daughter. I am not going to say that i have not dont anything to her, i have yelled at her (but dosent every 16 year old). but thats all. She chaces me to my room, corners me, and says that if I say anything to her, she will rip the ring out of my lip and other stuff. And she always calls me fat. I wear a size 5 pants, and she MAKES me buy size 11. and size small shirts (medium sometimes becuse of my chest) and she makes me get a large. She makes me feel hoibal about myself. I actually cry myself to sleep, at 16 because of her.

Even when I am out of the house, she makes me come home at 10 on weeknights, and 12 on weekends, and if I am 2 minutes late, I am grounded for 2 days. I dont knkow what to do.

I have tried talking to her, and nothing works, she yells and says "well you will be 18 soon, so you can get the f**K out of this da*n house, and live yourlife without me! I am a darn good mom!" and walks away.

She never listens to anything I have to say. and I feel like I am just a slave in her house. something to clean, and cook.

How can I talk to my mom withought her getting mad? an effective way. I can not live like this for the next year and 6 months. Yes, I am counting down untill I can get out of here. My boyfriend already has a place for me to live when i am 18. (ohh.. any she tells me that she will call the cops on me if i try to move out when i am 18, and she will have me sent to jail)

I can not live like this. I feel worse and worse everyday. I need to talk to her, and i need things to change. I would live with my dad, but he has his own family, and I do not want to partude, adn i would miss all my friends and my animals.

PLEASE GIVE ME IDEAS ON HOW I CAN CHANGE THE WAY THINGS ARE IN MY HOUSE. I REALLY NEED THINGS TO CHANGE.

Answer 1

My mom is this way too.

It sounds like your mom has two completely different personalities.

Your just gonna have to try to live your life as comfortable as you can with your mom for a while untill your old enough to move. She will always be your mother no matter what, i learned that the hard way.

Dont let her be the judge of the people in your life and the decisions you make.

I got pregnant at a young age and i never let anyone make anykind of decision for me. I actually kept it from my family for about 7 months because i was scared. In a way i blam my mom for not being there and kicking me out when i was only 14. I grew up really fast with no regards of my consequences.

You are old enough to make your own choices now, but remember, the choices you make NOW may effect you the most in life.  

Be strong, things could only get better.

:)

Answer 2

At this point I would just call the cops. If she has hit or threatened you, she's broken the law and you can report her. The police can help you find someone better to live with or if it's alright with his parents you can live with your boyfriend. This woman is obviously delusional and can't be reasoned with, trying to do so will only make you feel worse. It's time to leave.

I'm sorry to hear about your baby. Get out of your mom's house and you can try again.

Answer 3

I think your mom has already screwed you up by being the way she is and making you the emotional mess you are.  At 16 you should not be wanting to have a baby.  It seems you wanted it because you wanted to give it the love and affection your mom seemed to be avoiding giving you.  That is my opinion, but I am sorry for what she made you do.  I personally think it is great you gave it up(hopefully by adoption) if not, then I just hope your boyfriend was really supportive.  You should just try to finsih school and find a way to leave the house because she will continue to be a poison to you and anyone else you meet or create at this point.

Answer 4

d**n, i know how you feel. But there isnt really anything you can do to get her to change. and if you really cant or dont want to live like that turn her in. record her sayin that **** or doin it and then take it in as evidence and get the h**l out and tell them you want to live w. your b.f or something idk. or go live with your dad im sure the family will accept you. :] and if not your just livin there till your eighteen and its better than being with your mom. if you really wanna stay with her PRAY AND PRAY that her heart is changed for the better and that she will listen to you. and start cryin be like mom why do you do this to me? i know you love me but your hurting me mentally. and physically. just try. and if it doesnt work then leave.  

Answer 5

was ur mom in a gang before, CZ she uses such ruff language like ****...anyways to me there re only 10% of chances that she will change...how long has she been like this to u??

maybe it because of ur dad, I think u should make her realize what she is doing, she is not doing any good to u is she??

i feel ur boyfriend is a billion time much better than ur mom, even u have only known him for sometime.

u need support of ppl like ur boyfriend..get it??

just tell her "i hate u, i love my dad"

do something that she will  remember it for her whole life...cant give u any examples...sry

oh, try to remind her of the past, of ur childhood...she wasnt like this to u when u were a child......

......................................... am with u!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

sounds like you and your mom should get into some sort of family counseling. you need to be in an environment where you feel safe enough to tell her how you feel.. tell her you would like to see a family counselor to work on your mother daughter relationship. I'm sorry to hear about the emotional abuse you have had to deal with. maybe living with your grandmother is an option?  talk to her see what she says maybe she can help you convince your mother that counseling is the best option. maybe she should bring it up to her instead of you.

good luck with everything. wish you the best.

Answer 7

well, first of all, she was right about you not having a baby.  you actually CHOSE to get pregnant at 16?  pretty dumb.   but all the other stuff is messed up.  your mom sounds exactly like my sister.  she may have a mental disorder. and if she ever abuses you, you need to tell someone, if you havent already. ANd really, you cant change your home.  your mother has to do that. and if she doesnt, which she probably wont, you just have to take it day by day and do your best in school and life so that you can become independent quickly after highschool and get out of your house.

Answer 8

Oh, dear. I'm so sorry.  Maybe I'm not the best person to give you advice. At 13, but I feal bad.  

1)its not your fault.  She is a bad mother. No good mother hits you, or would call the cops on you for moving out, or tells you you don't deserve anything. God made you, you were no accident.  You just got the worst of it

2)Talk to someone. A councilor, teacher, anyone. A good friend's mother.   Your mother should go to jail.  

3)Do you have a close relative.  Maybe you could go live with her/him until you finish your schooling days.

4)You were to young to have a child, but still. An abortion is very,very far.  You have a right to keep your baby, but do not feel bad. When you move out, have all the babies you want!

5)I have a friend, who lives just like you. Expect shes 14.  her mom has kicked her out, and said things.  But its not your fault! Go out and get a job, earn some money. But clothes that make you feal good!  Because you are beautiful. I haven't even seen you and I just know. Look yourself in the mirror everyday and say I'm a strong and beautiful woman, and I deserve the best

6) I hope I helped you hon!  

Answer 9

What it sounds like is that your not getting the type of love you want and need from your mom, but having a baby and wanting that love isnt a good idea especially at 16.I'm mean i have no room to talk bacause im 15 and had a baby and let me tell you its hard very hard and its a life time commitement.Give it some time and soon enough when youve grown more and your more prepared it will be way more FUN!!!

write me back if you wanta talk

[e-mail]

Answer 10

If there is any adult in your life that you trust - truly in your heart and gut know that is a good person - go to them.  Reach out and get help.  If that person turns you down, keep trying.  Hold your head up high - don't give up.  Pray.  You don't have to be religious, but keep your Spirit!