Money & marriage problems? any suggestions?

Question

My husband is very stubbron, I love him dearly and i don't want a divorce but sometimes he can drive me crazy to the point where i don't ever want to see him again.... I'm a fulltime student we only have 1 car, and we have 2 kids... I wanted a used crappy car for school, but my husband said we couldn't afford it and instead he wanted to buy a harley davidson motorcycle (yeah exactly) well it worked out well for the summer, but now our kids start school (different schools at that) we only have 1 car and 1 motorcycle, what can we do about winter when it snows, i'm in school all day everyday he works 2nd shift,all of a sudden he wants a used car to get him to work, but still keep the motorcycle.. so now he wants to get a part time job during the mornings to pay for his new "used" car, i said NO because we can't afford it... instead of buying the car when i told him now we owe the car we have, the motorcycle and the car he wants, it's crazy... He barely makes enough to pay our normal bills,i he doesn't understand, he always gets what he wants and i'm sooo tired of it, he doesn't listen to me when i say no and i've had it.. I don't have a job, he's the only one bringing in the money, thousands of times i said i'll quit school to get a crappy job, but he says no to finish it... Yet all the d**n time, he's arguing with me and telling me that i don't have a job so i can't say anything about the way he spends money.. He's a good husband, except when it comes to money and him getting everything he wants, he'll put up a fight, make me feel like c**p, tells me to leave him if i don't like it, and i don't know what to do anymore.. I have nowhere to go with my 2 kids, he breaks my heart sometimes and all i can do is cry...plz help!

p.s. we've been married 5 yrs, he doesn't want to go to counseling, and he wants another baby knowing i can't since i'm in school for Radiation Therapy and it takes up all my time.. He thinks i won't be working as hard as i say once school starts, I'll be volunteering at the hospitals and in classes from 8 am till 8 pm..

Answer 1

He is manipulating you to get exactly what he wants.  You to be wrapped around his little finger.  You are going to have to resort to drastic measures so this loser doesn't ruin you girl.  Society is really pushing out alot of these irresponsible loser guys.  He is the man, should be supportive of you and help you with your school. Sell his stupid motorcycle and tell him to ride a bike if he doens't like it.   And sounds like he doens't want you to succeed.   Losers love to keep winners down with them.  Sorry , I am just honest.  

Answer 2

He sounds like a very selfish person it gets old quickly believe me.  Let me know if you are still with him in 5 years.  I have a hard time believing a selfish person is a good husband...

Answer 3

That sucks.  Why can't you sit down and have a real heart to heart with him?  Let him know that he makes you cry and tell him how you feel.  I know that I can be a d**k sometimes but if my wife came to me and told me that I make her cry and that I make her feel worthless then I would listen.  You guys obviously have love for each other, or at least you did at one time.  If he is not willing to listen then maybe you need a break.  Don't you have any family or friends in the area that you could stay with?

ADDITIONAL-

You really deserve a man who is emotionally supportive of you.  It sounds like he is insecure of your education and intelligence.  Cut your losses now until he shows you the respect you deserve.

Answer 4

He sounds immature or isn't aware of the whole situation.  He acts on how he is feeling at that moment and does not consider the outcomes of his actions in the future.  

You explained yourself very well, would it be a problem to show him your question?  If he saw in writing how you feel and exactly how he is putting pressure on the family it might sink in more for him.

It can be very frustrating, especially when you aren't in a position to actually contribute at that time, but you are studying for a better role in the future and that is when it will pay of you and your family.

Let him deal with the bills, let him be responsible for making sure deadlines are met - give him the responsibility and stress of making ends meet so he knows how you feel.

Answer 5

sounds like you need to put your foot down on some things..that motorcycle has to go, its not practical right now...

and def need to goto counseling, to learn how to communicate and come to agreements on things..

he doesn't want to go cuz he knows the counselor will call him out on the way he is being...

good luck.

Answer 6

Why dont you just get a d**n job and forget about school.

You could afford stuff if you worked instead of mooching off your husband.

Answer 7

Finish school get a good paying job then leave his a s s.

Answer 8

I am not understanding what the problem is with getting a part time job to cover the cost of the car. I work full time, go to school full time and take care of my husband and 4 children. It IS doable and you can get some of the things that you want in life. All that it takes is time management and the desire to do it.

Answer 9

I can relate to you Hun! I know its hard but you are going to have to put a stop to that RIGHT NOW! See he is making you feel that since you are not working, the money is not yours to spend but what he don;t realize is that you are not only a mother but you are a student his wife! you know what you tell him that there will be no fun in the bed  ( if you know what i mean) LOL no on the serious note you all need to talk and you need to let him know that you are doing this for the future. If he can't understand that you have two choices

1) Quit school and get a job

2) get a separation and I don't know about your state but if you are separated, that makes you a single mom, the government will help you threw school and housing money.

I hope this helps GOOD LUCK!

If you ever want to talk email me @ [e-mail]

Answer 10

Tell him no baby, get rid of the motorcycle, you will get a part time job and he has to watch the kids during that time while you stay in school and that he will go to counseling because your marriage is on the rocks and if something isn't fixed, you just might have to get a divorce