Moral Question?

Question

Someone dies that you didnt get along with with, but used too.

do you go to the wake or funeral??

My friends think i should but I didnt speak to her in 5 years.

Plus last week she was spreading a rumor about me.

Thank you for you opinions

Answer 1

There is no obligation to go to anyone's funeral, so why bother with this one.  Save your grief for someone close to you.  No need to shed fake crocodile tears for that person. I'd skip it.

Answer 2

Yeah, I am pretty sure women don't care about death...though I do know there are a lot of vaulnerable guys there.

Answer 3

I would say don`t go. I mean what`s the point unless you`re genuinely sad about the passing.

Answer 4

Don't go...who needs the trouble.  You'll just be setting yourself up for ridicule from the people who only knew her side of things.

Also...it's not a moral question, it's a question of self preservation.

Answer 5

If you truly feel bad for her family then go just to show your support. I lost 3 family members this year and when ever someone we hadn't seen in a long time showed up it just made us feel better. It really didn't matter if we got along with them or not, it was just their support of being there that made all the difference. You don't have to go to both, but I think if you feel you may become uncomfortable then just go to the wake, that way you can leave quickly.

Answer 6

Now that she is dead, you should pray for her immortal soul, go  console her family and offer your condolences for their sorrow.  

It will bother you down the road if you don't' make amends with  her family when you have this chance.  Just tell them that you don't have any hard feelings for her if anything comes up.

Focus on some good time you had 5 years ago and only mention that at the funeral.  Be positive and this wound will heal.  Ignoring it won't help at all.

Answer 7

You don't have to, but it's considered a classy gesture. There's really no point in holding a grudge against a dead person, and any mutual friends you had will be glad for your support.

The wake might be easier. You can just go, express your condolences and leave reasonably quickly.  

You can go in honor of the friendship you used to have with her--it's a form of reconciliation.

One more point. I've heard people say they regretted skipping a funeral but I've never heard anyone say that, looking back on it, they're sorry they attended so-and-so's funeral.

Answer 8

Ho ho wait what's goin' on here. I thought this was a question about me? But  then you throw out the slippidy slidin' role reversal, jeez. She's dead, do you think she'll curse you from her grave if you don't go? Go if you feel like if you don't she will. Otherwise..

Answer 9

Be the better person and go to the funeral.

Answer 10

it's up to you.  but only go if you are genuinely mourning the person or want to deal with the 'issues' you had.  there's really no sense holding a grudge after death, right?

good time to forgive her and let everything go.  heal yourself.

Answer 11

Go to the wake and the funeral for the sake of her loved ones.  Plus, it will show everyone who believes those rumors that you are the better person.

Answer 12

Yeah, you definitely go to the wake and funeral.  You go for closure, you go for her family, you go for the good times you had together, you go out of respect and you go to avoid the possibility of regret.

Just go.

Answer 13

If you don't feel right about going to the funeral, then don't go. If later on you feel you have something to say, or would just like to pay respect to the family, you can visit the grave site. You could also send some flowers to the family instead of paying a visit. If you do what makes you feel comfortable, then you'll be making the right decision. God bless.

Answer 14

Go to the funeral; it's the last nice thing you can do for her. There's no point in holding a grudge anymore.

Answer 15

Just go to the funeral, as long as her demise and the the rumor she was spreading about you are indisputably unrelated events!!

Answer 16

Someone TOLD you that she was SPREADING a rumor...look up the word RUMOR in the dictionary.

She used to be a good friend of yours...of course you should go to the wake at least, if not the funeral.  Trust me if you don't, 10 years down the line you're going to realize how stupid and foolish all of this "rumor" stuff was and you will have wished you had went.  Pay your respects...she would have done the same.

Peace & Love :)

Answer 17

Go to the wake/funeral.

Out of all my friends and relations, I can't think of a single one that hasn't pissed me off at some stage. Ok, so you fell out, but does that cancel out all the good things that happened? You can choose to forgive, or choose not to. If you choose not to, than (in a way) you're just hurting yourself by staying bitter. Or you can forgive her and move on; much better than the alternative. Hope that helps.

Answer 18

You should go if you feel you need closure.