More confused with the situation I am in.?

Question

I am going out with someone for 3years, but recent something comes up in my mind, i no longer feel any thing for this person, he is asking me to marry him, but for me also to tell him that it can not be possible I cant, also I cant let him down because of what he has done for me, Please help me before I made the wrong decision.

Answer 1

Donzela, absolutely you CANNOT marry someone out of a feeling of obligation.  What is going to happen once you begin to feel that "your debt is paid"  to them?

Marriage needs to be based on love, trust, honesty - a true and deep affection.  Anything else for a basis sounds pretty dicey to me.  Plus, marriage is tough, it is not for the faint at heart.

You will not be doing this guy a favor if you marry him under false pretenses.  Confess your true feelings and MOVE ON, I don't care what he has done for you.  Trust me, in your heart of hearts you know I am right.  Good luck!

Answer 2

If you don't want to marry him don't marry him.

If you think you have no feelings for the guy then try giving yourselves a bit of space. Feelings and emotions can ebb and flow in a relationship maybe if you have a bit of distance from him you may  feel you miss him and realize you do still want him. Or if you feel the break has confirmed your feelings then you have to be honest with the guy. It is never good to stay in a relationship that isn't working. He has a right to know how you honesty feel about him.

Answer 3

marriage is a life time relationship,he will be hurt for a month or two ar even a year but at last he will forget and continue his life normally ,but if you stayed with him and u dont love him ,u will cheat him so soon ,plus you wont give him the love he expect from u so leave him immediatly and u can explain for him softly..

Answer 4

Hi

If you still unsure of your situation

ask him to give you more time before you make decision

tell him this is good for both of you  

Answer 5

He will feel too that you don't give any love...so in the end he won't be happy too.

Stop now, after marriage its so much harder!!

Answer 6

you need to be honest with him.

you may feel that you are letting him down, and suffer the guilt from it, but we are talking about the rest of your life.

im guessing he done things for you unconditionaly, not to get gratitude every day for the rest of his life.

if you no longer love him, then set him free, or you risk feeling resentful forever

Answer 7

dont make any rash decision u may regret this is a big thing to make and onyl u can do it only u know how u feel think about it take a step back and think breathe  

Answer 8

try finding a person who will do what he did for you. if you cant then marry him. if it doesnt work out then divorce him.

or just wait it out.

Answer 9

It wouldn't be fair to either of you, to marry someone because of the things they have done for you. I would sit down and discuss all of these issues. You must to honest in every relationship. If you don't love this person then you need to explain this and walk away. Maybe your just getting cold feet because of the marriage word. Be honest no matter what. Good Luck.

Answer 10

well think about the good times that you have had together and try to work it out. If you still cant find it in you to have that same love that you used to have, you might want to talk to him about it. You dont want to get hitched and realize it just days after you got married. But that really sucks for you because whatever he has done for you was probably important and thats why you dont want to confront him about it. But you have too

Answer 11

Hey,

It is clear in you that you still love that soul why don't voice out what is in you.

You can let him understand where he got it wrong.  

Answer 12

It's best for your other to know the truth. You should tell him that you very much appreciate him, but it would be wrong for you to keep him in a relationship when you have no real love feelings for him.Explain that in the long run, if you did marry him, it would just become a regret if you were to marry someone you didn't love. You two should work out into some form of strong friendship. Still be there for each other. Watch each others backs. But if you marry him without being IN love with him...well, that won't last too long and you will probably regret not having him as a friend anymore after divorce comes along.

Good luck.