More curiousity than anything else?

Question

I have a 17 month old in open adoption. I picked out her parents and i'm allowed to see her on the weekends. When people find out she's in adoption and i see her some say why you gave her up should you just let go and let them lead there lives. My case worker got mad every single time i used those words gave up she's says that i intrusted them with my child to give her the things i just couldnt and she's right. When i knew what my choice would be i have never onced said her adoptive mom's name to her i have always said mommy same with her dad. I dont call myself your birthmother or mommy Rachel its just always been Rachel.I choose them because i liked them the best and they have a somewhat simlair way of how i would rasie her if i had her. If they do something that i wouldnt i dont say oh you cant do it that way i have no right to do that. They dont mind me spending time with her they think i should so why does everyone else have this issue with it. Again just curious about it.

Answer 1

Adoptions used to be big, hairy secrets. Children were born, raised, had families of their own and died without ever knowing they were adopted. Open adoption is a relatively new concept, and a lot of people are hung up on those old notions of "giving up" a child.

Your little girl is so lucky to have great parents *and* a Rachel to love her. Your caseworker is right, and any time someone suggests that you "gave up" that little girl and ought to leave her alone, repeat what she said: "I entrusted her to people I know will love her and care for her in ways that I can't -- but that doesn't mean I can't continue to love her in other ways. Who doesn't need more love?"

Answer 2

I agree with some chick.

Answer 3

zabes is right but they should keep their mouths shut.  i think you did the right thing because you save her from asking things later in life like why didn't my birth mother want me? now she will know that you still care about her but know what is best for her.

Answer 4

Probably because there have been situations where the birth Mother regrets giving the child up for adoption and takes the adoptive parents to court and gets custody of the child they gave up - leaving the adoptive parents high and dry. That's the only thing I can think of.