More guests will come to the reception and not the ceremony

Question

We've been told that more people will come to the reception than will come to the ceremony. Is this typical, or are we just providing a party for freeloaders?

Answer 1

I found that it is normally true. Often times people can only attend one and would rather attend the one they can have one-on-one time with the bride.

This was the case with me!

Answer 2

Though we invited the same people to both the ceremony and reception, we actually had more people at the ceremony, because some 'church people' came, which was very nice.

The vast majority of invited people do attend both.

Answer 3

I sure hope that's not the case, otherwise I might save invitations and be able to properly invite people to the wedding and reception instead of letting them know that I'd have loved to invite them if there was space, and the wedding is at such-and-such a time if they want to come.

The only person I know who will skip the wedding and go to a reception is a very dedicated athiest who objects to weddings if they're in churches. Aside from that I can't imagine that a lot of people would bother to get you a gift and travel all the way to your reception after skipping your wedding, UNLESS you've put the wedding at a difficult to attend time and have your reception more accessible.  

Answer 4

I have heard of guests doing that (on this board), but I havent actually seen it. The weddings I have been in and attended seemed to have everyone at the ceremony and reception... not that I was taking role call, but just a feeling. And at our wedding, I know for a fact everyone came to both.

I think its incredibly rude when guests do that. Dont they know that the ceremony is the Main Event, and the reception is just a celebration of that?

Answer 5

Hi. I just had to add my two cents to this question.

First - Congratulations on getting married!

That means you found the person who makes you happy and want to spend the rest of your life with!

The actual marriage ceremony is the important part. It is where the two of you commit your lives to each other!

The reception is the celebration of the union that took place at the ceremony.

So, this is my take on it. And this is coming from life experience and two years working at a catering hall.

It is extremely rude to show up only for the reception if you were invited to the wedding ceremony as well.

Unless, extenuating circumstances occured where you were unable to go to the ceremony.

And I mean extenuating circumstances.

When I had a job as a sales rep, my then-sorta-boyfriend invited me as his guest to his second cousins wedding. Which was on a friday night. Know what - I told my boss I had a wedding to go to and left work at 3pm that day to be able to go to both the ceremony and reception. Because that is the right thing to do.

But during my catering years, there was a wedding taking place at a not easy to find church. And 10 guests showed up at the catering hall early because they couldn't find the church and had gotten lost. Sho they showed up early and only went to the reception. But they were 10 of 250 people.

So, it is rude to go only to the reception if you were invited to both. Because you obviously only care about the "party" and not the couple.

I had thought about issuing "reception passes" to those who attended the ceremony, but figured that would be in poor taste.

Instead, we will probably have our guest book at the ceremony location. As a way to keep track as to who attended.

And then later placed at the reception hall.

Good luck with your own wedding day. Congratulations.  Hopefully, you will have a day shared with family and friends, who actually care about you as a couple. And want to be there to witness your two lives becoming one.  

Answer 6

in my personal opinion, the ones that really CARE about the purpose behind the reception will go to the ceremony as well. those who don't better have a good excuse otherwise they just might be the freeloaders.

Answer 7

I thought it was the opp.

Answer 8

You can't call them freeloaders if they give you a gift, can you?  

I think it is quite typical, and the reasons vary.  If you have a Friday wedding, for example, not everybody can get off work early, and can only attend the reception.  Or, if they have young children, it may work out best to leave their children with a sitter who can't get to their home until later.  I, personally, could not attend a ceremony a couple of weeks ago because I had another ceremony and wedding to attend.  I had to divide and conquer two weddings in one day.  Another scenario to consider.

Don't focus on this aspect of your big day.  Plan and enjoy, and don't point fingers.      

Answer 9

well if you invited them then they aren't freeloaders. It's a little odd that they wouldn't want to come to the ceremony. but I have heard many times of people inviting more guests to the reception than the ceremony. a small family only ceremony and then a HUGE reception party.  So it's not unusual.

Answer 10

I think it depends on the time of the wedding. Like maybe some people are still at work during the ceremony or just getting off work and need to go home to get ready. I'm having a immediate family only ceremony and then having a huge reception.  

Answer 11

I don't about you but had someone just showed up for the reception and not the wedding I'd probably ask them to leave cause apparently your feelings aren't important to them.

Answer 12

Well honestly that is true. I recently went to a wedding and the people from the church were not at the reception. And the people from the receotion were not at the church. Just a few, including myself. Thats why you only provide people to your reception and wedding who are important to you. Dont invite people just to put on a show

Answer 13

its pretty typical, usually more people are invited to the reception than the ceremony. or alot of times a wedding will be out of town and the reception will be local. or some parents don't want to deal with their kids at a wedding. and some older people can't climb stairs to get into an a church that isn't wheel chair assable, while they can make it into the ceremony. however, yes some are freeloaders.

Answer 14

It is most improper for someone who is invited to a wedding ceremony with reception following, to skip the wedding and just come to the reception (it is different if the invitation was to just the reception, of course)  You should be able to avoid this, however, by restricting your guest list to only those people who care enough for you as to want to be present at your ceremony for your sake.

Some brides make the mistake of thinking they must invite everyone from parents' acquaintances to business contacts, and as a result include people who really *are* more interested in a free party than in bride and groom and their wedding. And that of course fosters the kind of unacceptable behaviour you refer to.

Answer 15

Sometime it is work that is not allow them to attend.  My wife works at nursing home.  She gets done about 1:30 Pm.  We have wedding in a couple of weeks will going to the reception only.

Gas price has become a factor in how far they will travel.

Answer 16

That is normal people at the ceremony are just close personal family members and friends. Other poeple like cousins and friends you don't see much and uncles and aunts and more go to the reception as well as people at the ceremony