Question:

More info on Adoption??

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I am only 16 right now...but I am sure that one day I will adopt. That has always been my dream....when I was little I would pretend that my dolls were my adopted children...LOL. Anyways I just want some information and tips from people who have been through or are currently in the process of adopting. An adoptees take would be good too. I have a few questions....

What is the best age to start the adoption process?

I don't really want kids till my mid to late thirties...Should I start the process then or earlier like late tenties??

When should I tell them that they are adopted??

Thanks!!

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7 ANSWERS


  1. My sister adopted 2 Russian babies.  She is married and both have great jobs.  They had a terribly hard time adopting in the US and finally adopted from Russia.  The kids are beautiful and are not related.  I think the best time to tell them is in their late teens.  Look up information about when to tell the children they have been adopted.  If you adopted them very young, they will love you anyway.


  2. Go to google.com and type into their search engine:

    adoption agencies.

    But, when you do that, I'd suggest that you do it when

    you have a lot of time to review the list you'll access --

    because, unfortunately not all adoption agencies are

    totally reputable.

    Good luck!

  3. Excellent questions.

    When you start depends on where you're adopting from.  If you adopt from a country with a 1 year wait once the dossier goes to the country, then start the application process a year & a half to two years before you would like to have the child join the family (this will give time to gather all your documents together and for some of the delays you might experience).  So stay current on where you want to adopt from, and move forward when the time is right!

    I am a firm believer that the child should know he/she is adopted from the beginning.  If you adopt an infant, tell the child from the time he/she is in your arms his/her adoption story and how he/she came into your family.  This will allow the baby to grow up with a positive view of adoption and his/her adoption story.

    If you adopt an older child, do the same thing...share the child's adoption story with him/her from the beginning & how you planned for him/her from the time you were a teen and that they are so very wanted and valued by you.

    Good for you!!!  You are an amazing person.

  4. I am  very interested in this question. I am 18 and I want to adopt in my twenties. I plan on adopting internationally what about you?

    The best time in my opinion is when you're financially stable. I plan on adopting around the end or immediately after college so I can give the child all the attention he/she deserves. The best time you can tell them is probably middle to high school. I wouldn't wait too long like probably 18+

  5. Usually the whole process takes at least a year. I would start a year 1/2 to two years before you wish to recieve the child. I was adopted. I say that you should tell them when they're ready to understand, and when you think they can handle it.

  6. Kudos to you for thinking about your future at such a young age.

    Here are some things to consider:

         Are you interested only in babies or would you also consider adopting a child who might be up to age 18?

         Is it important to you that your child be of your same ethnicity?

         Would you consider adopting a baby or child who has been exposed to drugs, either in utero or since birth?

         How will afford to take care of your children?

    If you are willing to adopt a child who is not a baby, you may want to look into adopting from foster care, as this is the least expensive way to go and you are likely to get more support and training than someone who adopts internationally or through a private domestic adoption. Your odds of being able to adopt quickly are greatly increased by adopting from foster care, being willing to take an older child, not having a preference for a specific race or accepting a child into your home who has been exposed to drugs or alcohol.

    As far as how you will afford to care for these children, I cannot state enough how important it is for parents to get a good job PRIOR to having kids (usually requiring a college degree) and that they should save as much money as possible and have the best health insurance possible so they can take as good of care of their children as they would like to be able to do.

    If you decide you cannot accept one of these things, do not be disheartened, just know that it could make your wait longer and you might want to start the process sooner as a result.

    As far as when you should tell a child that they are adopted, I feel sooner is generally better. I would tell them as much as they are capable of understanding. You can tell them as toddlers how much you love them and how lucky you are that the lady who grew them in her belly let you be their mommy after they were born.

  7. Well first of all adoption is not an easy process for anyone.  Not  for the parent giving up the child or the parents adopting it.  It is expensive, difficult and challenging...if you are going to do it be ready for a roller coaster ride.

    My brother and his wife could not have biological children so they decided to adopt.  They wanted a new born...long story short after supporting a mom for 7months and paying about 80,000 they did not get it.  Thankfully they did finally get a little boy.  They keep in touch with the birth mother and named their son (middle name) after the birth mothers family.  They have talked to their son about it since day one.  In todays world adoption is very open and accepted.  It helps children feel less detachment from their family when you raise them this way.  

    Best of luck!

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