Mother- Daughter Connection

Question

About four weeks ago, I had found out my mom has been cheating on my step dad. It was a terrible shock to the family & caused a lot of pain. It was going on for a couple of months until my sister had caught her at the mall. We all kept it a secret for a while until my brother just couldn't take it anymore. He had told my step dad about my mom's situation. My step dad is a really nice guy and he had accepted her decision even after finding out the truth from my brother rather than my mom herself.

Before all this happened, my mom and I were really close. Kind of like best friends. We could basically talk about anything and everything. Out of the whole family, only me and my grandma supported her and could see how things were in her shoes.

I had recently went on a trip for two weeks and I would call her every single day, well try to. My brother told me that he had told my step dad about my mom and he didn't believe him till that day he called me. I had heard that because everything was out in the clear, and no more secrets going on, on the weekend she would stay with her boyfriend. Her and my step dad still live together on weekdays, but only as friends. So I thought, not much of a change, great!

It's been one weeks since I came back and things have changed more than I thought. My mom's life revolves around her boyfriend now. All she does is text him 24/7. I tried talking to her, but she acted like she didn't care anymore. In October, I'm planning to leave for one month on a trip and I tried talking to her about it, but it felt like the mother-daughter connection we had was gone. She showed no interest at all.

In a matter of weeks, a precious thing I was grateful of, is gone. Not many children have this kind of relationship with their parents, and I was once happy that I knew I was that few.

I don't know who to ask, or who to turn to right now, but all I want is to regain that connection with my mom. It really hurts feeling shut down, or being ignored by someone you love, so I'm looking for some advice on how to get that special connection back.

This isn't about her cheating, it's about losing the one person I could talk to about anything and would always be there to listen. So please don't jodge things about her cheating and what not, all I want to know is how can I get back the connection I had with her before all this happened.

Answer 1

If you are finding it difficult to talk to your mom face to face, write her a letter explaining what you are feeling. Also you might try setting up a weekly lunch date and let her know you miss her and would like to have at least an hour a week of her undivided attention. Hopefully she will, and you can start rebuilding the connection.

I hope your mom realizes that a boyfriend isn't worth losing her daughter over and she will give you more time.

Answer 2

your mom and stepdad raised a great daughter. You sound perfect! Im impressed with the maturity and compusure you have held thus far! Maybe your mom is going through some serious issues of her own and needs time to sort them out. Give your mom space and continue to do the right things in life and set a good example for your siblings. Your mom-daughter connnection may come back after your mom gets over whatever it is she's going through! Wait it out.