Mother/Mother-in-law attending both showers?

Question

My cousins and aunt are throwing me a baby shower this weekend. They asked for my MIL's address to send her an invitation and she is coming. My sisters-in-law are also throwing me a shower for my husband's side of the family. They asked for my mother's address to send her an invitation. My mother doesn't want to come and thinks that it's a breach of etiquette. I think it would have been a breach of etiquette to not invite her. What is proper in this case?

Answer 1

Usually the mother attends all the showers.  She does not have to take gifts to them all, but she goes to share this special time with

her daughter.  This is her grand baby and she should want to be a part of all the celebrations.  

Answer 2

I have always witnessed both mother's attending showers for both sides of the family.  Along with the sisters and grandmas.

But most definitely the mom.  

Yes, she should be at both.  I think it would look a little odd if not.

She doesn't need to get a gift or maybe just a small token gift.  I can't imagine why she doesn't want to go.

Answer 3

I agree with you.  If your mother doesn't want to go let her make her own excuses.

Answer 4

I don't know if it is proper or not, but I agree with you.  Your mother does not have to attend, but she should have been invited.  And why wouldn't she want to go to both showers??  Tell her that if she does attend, you don't expect her to buy you 2 gifts, her support is gift enough!!

Answer 5

I think it was alright for you in laws to invite your Mother, but I have to say,  it is difficult to share one belly with both grandmothers.  So if you mom ops out of coming, it is probably for the best.  I am all for different showers for the two families and friends and church and work.  Everybody want to celebrate a new life and it is funner when everyone knows each other.

Answer 6

Why not have ONE shower & invite EVERYBODY??

I would politely tell who ever asked to throw you a shower second, that someone else is already planning one. Pitting one family against the other isn't right by having a your side of the family AND a his side of the family shower.  

Answer 7

I can see why they invited her, after all your MIL was invited to the shower thrown by your side of the family.  But she doesn't HAVE to go.

Answer 8

I think, personally, it would have been incredibly rude not to invite your mother. She doesn't, however, have to go.

As a general rule, multiple baby showers shouldn't include the same guests. However, she is your MOTHER and as such not just a "guest".