Mother and Brothe critical of me homeschooling?

Question

Whenever my mother or brother visit,they make a big deal over my 2 girls that are in Public school such as saying how proud they are of them and they don't even ask about my other girls, which upsets them and angers me,I am tired of biting my tounge what should I say or do?

Answer 1

I could never add anything to the excellent suggestions from Terri (above).  But I had to respond and let her know that that was one of the best answers I have ever heard in here!

CLAP CLAP CLAP  (standing ovation)

Answer 2

Honesty, delivered in kindness is the best. Call them both, right now, on three way calling if necessary, so you all three can be on the call at the same time, and talk to them about it.

Say to them, "you know, I have ____ daughters, and I am proud of all of them. When you ask of the two in public school, and fuss over them, it upsets the others that are homeschooled. I'm sure you were not aware of this, so from now on, when you ask of my children, include all of them. When you come over and wish to talk about their studies, ask all of them." If they try to defend their attitude toward homeschooling, you continue with something like "Your ideas about homeschooling should not have a negative affect on your relationship with your granddaughters/nieces. If you cannot refrain from showing your negative attitudes toward homeschooling in their presence, then I must take "all things educational" off the list of acceptable conversation topics when you visit."

This should be delivered with kindness and love. If the situation continues, then you have the right to stop them, mid sentence and remind them of your conversation. "remember, we discussed this and the negative impact it has on our family. I must ask you to choose something else to discuss."

Treat them pleasantly, don't let this get in the way, but stand your ground.\

These are your children, and it is your job to stick up for them. They need to know they are important and that you value their feelings, even when it comes to relatives.

Answer 3

Considering your incorrect punctuation usage, I'd put them all in public schools.

Answer 4

The above suggestion about calling them and bringing it up is a very good one. I was going to suggest the same thing, or perhaps pull them aside the next time they visit and it happens, that way you can point out exactly what it is they did that bothered you. You could also try to start up conversation about your other girls who are homeschooled. When they start to fuss over the public schooled girls, express pride for them and then add something like "And ___ just learned how to ___ in ___ class, and is doing wonderfully at it" or something similar. It could be that they just don't understand enough about homeschooling and aren't sure how to really talk about it... what you do, or anything like that

Answer 5

Don't wait for them to ask. Just let them know how your other girls are doing.