Mother and Neglect ??????

Question

I believe my mother has a problem

My mother has no idea on what she is talking about half the time she is speaking. All she is doing is being a hypocritical, procrastinating person. What I thought the cause of this … is that she is taking out her emotional pains on me by shouting and criticizing me … she has the nerve to actually say “your room isn’t clean enough” or “back in the day we didn’t have shoes like those”. She makes me do all the work.. And no im not meaning as if im one of those lazy kids who complains about chores. She literally makes me do all the work… then she starts to tell me not to spend my money on clothes which I don’t always do … it’s usually just a shirt or so every 2 weeks… she is such a hypocrite she is in a denial phase of her gambling addiction which she doesn’t have from what she tells me .. but I can smell the tobacco smoke in her jackets and those rsl receipts and the shortage of money … She herself is telling me im not spending my money wisely , Mother im not the one putting a hundred dollars a day in a machine to see some pretty colours , and when she wins she thinks of it as a very high achievement and then boast’s the story about it. Im usually left home with my cousins or at my aunties. They usually tell her about me and how they’ve been observing me and how I need more attention then she usually gives that half hearted angry look and says that she doesn’t have time for something like im not sure SPENDING TIME WITH HER OWN AND ONLY SON!.... and when she does have time to spend with me she barely does anything she either doesn’t talk to me or has some ridiculous rant on how I can improve on my studies…. I study every single day … and she thinks all im doing on the computer is Bloody-playing games. To me I think this is a typical story about neglect and how gambling effects family. And here’s the worst part… when im trying to show her affection by hugging or trying to kiss her she either tells me she’s not in the mood or doesn’t even appreciate me a 13 year old trying to show her some form of love.

Please help me..

Answer 1

If you are 13 and you have money then she must be paying you to clean.  I do feel for you and it does sound like your mom is going through an extremely selfish stage in her life but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you.  You need to talk to your aunt or family member she is putting you with about how you feel.  They know her and your situation best and can give you the best advice how to handle your relationship with your mother.  Best of luck to you and sounds like you are a great kid.  Your mother is very lucky.