Mother and daughter relationship?

Question

okay well my question is, how can i have a mother and daughter relationship with my mom again. we had one like prob when i was in grade 9 (if i was in school i would be in going into grade 11) i could tell her stuff and we would really hang out but she took me to the mall and took me to get clothes and stuff and my mom used to always be home because she worked at home, and now shes barly home and i know going from always being home from going to work prob will seem like never being home, but i mean it like shes never home, we used to live in this little small town (when we had a mother/daugher relationship) and then she made me move to a bigger town and i didnt want to move, but i had to. and i lived there for about a year, barly got to see my friends only like once a month, and i didnt meet anybody when i lived there. she used to work from like 10am-6pm and so she was home after 6, sometimes it was good like she was there, and sometimes she didnt get home till like 10 then she went to bed, and so i always didnt get to see my mom there either but now we live in a bigger town then the last one, and i still have no friend, i still barly get to see my friends, same as the other town, so im at my house all day by my self,and i cant walk anywhere theres like highways in this town to get to the other side and stuff and im not walking on a highway..but anyways, and now she has this job up here and sometimes she works 10am-7pm, its good, but not always, because i dont get to see her cuz i wake up at 11am ususaly and when she comes home at 7pm, shes cleaning the house when its already clean or is gone out, or is watching her show and she cant miss it. and sometimes she works 4pm-12am, and that doesnt work out either, like yeh i know she starts work at 4 so it should give me time too see her, but no she goes out till like about 2:30 3 and comes home gets ready and leaves and when she comes home from work she goes to sleep, and she has saturdays and sundays off but shes always busy doing something and when i wake up in the morning shes gone ususally either to work or doing something else.. my grandma thinks that im being neglected or something, she knows im kinda depressed but i dont tell my grandma about how me and my mom never spend time together, she just thinks im being nelected becuase i live in a town where i dont know anyone and becuase my moms never home to feed me, and c**p. like i know im almost 16 and i should be able to do stuff on my own, like i can make food for my self, and clean up after my self and stuff like that but i cant always do it by my self, it makes me feel like im alone.. sorry if this is long.. can someone Please help me

Answer 1

Sweetheart your mom loves you with all of her heart. Sometimes mom's do get very busy but never too busy to hear whats bothering their daughter. Why dont you write her a sweet letter and leave it out for her. Tell her about some of your great memories of spending time with her. Then tell her that your understand that she is very busy with work. Then tell her that it would be so wonderful if even if it is a couple of times of month if a block of time can be designated just for the two of you! Tell her how much yopu love her and what to spend time with her. It is sooo important for her to know how you feel. When you recall your memories of spending time with her start with the ones of when you were very little til the ones that are most recent. Trust me she will appreciate it and if ashe is a mom like me she may even cry just bvecause you took the time out to tell her how you feel and the fact that you really want to be around her!

Answer 2

hi~

it is very tough for ur mom to be able to support her family, provide for u and still have her own social life~~

if u keep missing out on ur mom, try to get up a bit earlier to eat breakfast with u (then head back to bed afterwards); or, put notes inside her pockets or stick it to her bed or where ever she might find them and tell her you love and miss her~ tell her to take care of herself -- i am sure ur mom will melt!!! then if she replies u with little notes , then u can set a date with her -- "let's hang out from 8 to 10 on XX day, i'll cook dinner"

i am sure ur mom is just busy , but let her know that u miss a mom-daughter relationship and ask her if she would agree to set a date for that~~

sweetie, book ur mom in advance, actually give her a note and tell her "i am making an appointment with u XX ~ XX on OOO, please be there."

give her several chances to try to make the dates~ ~ don't feel too depressed anymore~ be more proactive and get ur mom's attention!!

Answer 3

Sounds like your mother is busy trying to make a living.

Why don't you do the housework so she won't have to do it when she come home and then she would have free time to be with you. Help her in any way you can. The more free time she has, the more time she will have with you.

You never said how old you were either so not having friend  could be due to your age. Do you go to church? There are young people there you could be friends with and perhaps you could work in the church with some activities. You need to think of ways to solve your problem instead of feeling neglected. Don't accuse your mother of neglecting you when in reality all she is doing is trying to make a home for you and herself.