Mother / daughter rivalry - who's the better feminist?

Question

My mother is a feminist and could probably be placed in the 'radical feminist' camp. I am a feminist also, but a different breed & we've argued about this to the point where we can't discuss it anymore.

What happens is I will describe something that happens to me (we are both lawyers, so its often around that) but if my experience is different from hers, she will tell me I am wrong and that my opinions are invalid.

A posting on here led me to this Diane Elam quote:

"This problem manifests itself when senior feminists insist that junior feminists be good daughters, defending the same kind of feminism their mothers advocated. Questions and criticisms are allowed, but only if they proceed from the approved brand of feminism. Daughters are not allowed to invent new ways of thinking and doing feminism for themselves"

Its the first time I've read about my experience and it surprised me (& comforted!).

Has anyone else had a similar experience?

any comments or observations?

Answer 1

Young women living in our world today have inhereted the benefits of the many great works of the feminists who have gone before us.  But we have a different world today, and our challenges are different - therefore, the movement must change in order to stay current with the issues.  

But I must say...your example gives credence to many who criticize the movement - the fact that you have three generations of feminists in your family, and two decide that one is wrong.  How can a movement be comprised of infighting like this...and expect respect and progress?  Tolerance is a vital component - as much as moving forward with the times!

Answer 2

I think you will just hve to agree to disagree. My sister and I have very different views on politics and lifestyle so I just avoid bringing up those touchy subjects.

Answer 3

Have some of that problem with my grandmother.

She considers herself to be a "radical" feminist (not by todays standards, by the 30's)

yet she wont pump her own gas(it's not lady like)....I on the other had was a mechanic in the military.

So we bump heads some...but not to much.

She balks over it...then gets all excited over the possibles of the women today.

Answer 4

If you are both lawyers, I guess you are going to argue a lot because that's how you are trained, but I personally don't lead my life according to a book or base my philosophy on something one person said.

I'm sure you don't either.

Everyone is going to have their own take on what is best for themselves, and how they want to shape their own life, no-one is necessarily 'better' unless one is destructive to the person concerned.

You mother's philosophy has served her well, but it's a new generation.

Times change, and change again.

In 30 years time you may be having the same arguments with your own daughter if you have one.

How else can we form our ideas, but by testing them against the beliefs and arguments of people we respect and trust?

Cheers :-)

Answer 5

In order for a movement to survive it must evolve with the times or it becomes extinct.