Mother- does your spouse ever help you with your children to help them get ready for school?

Question

my husband has never help me get our daughter ready for anything. when we go somewhere, i always get her ready and school it is the same things

like when we were going on a trip- i had her bag and a food bag . and he was outside in the truck and did not even help me carry anything or dress her.

is this normal for men to be so unhelpful?.

Answer 1

I am fortunate on that I guess. My husband actually gets my kids ready for school himself. I leave for work earlier than they can go to school. He works nights so he comes in and sleeps for a little while then gets up and gets them off to school. Some men are just considerate while some are not. Some men don't even realize when they are being selfish like that. Have you tried to bring this to his attention? Talk to him and let him know that you would really appreciate it if he would help with that some times.

Answer 2

Mine doesn't work, and I am usually getting ready that time in the morning for work, and he knows better than not to get our kids ready.

Of course, not marrying a guy I suspected would be a jerk, I ended up with one who won't work. So it seems all guys have some major flaw. Sigh.

But my dad, his dad, and every other guy I know of so far is the sort that thinks the woman has to do all that type of stuff. I shop and carry everything unless I come in and say something and then my kids start to try and he ends up doing it.

Answer 3

It could be your choice of man.  My ex sounded just like you "man" and would rather watch me work than lift a finger.  My current if wonderful and you would think he was the real father of my children.  

Good Luck, you're gonna need it!!

Answer 4

As a father of 3 daughters - NO!  This is unacceptable.  

Question should be; "how do I get my husband to participate?"

You first have to ask him to help.  Don't come across as demanding or whiney.  This will most likely put him on the defensive.  Ask nicely BEFORE you need him to help.  (This way we men have time to think about it and comprehend the action in our minds).  Yes we are Neandertals.  Tell him, "hey I would sure appreciate it if you could help me get "daughter" dressed this morning while I make us some coffee," for example.  After he does, later tell him thanks and that he really helped you out to make things go smoother.  Tell your daughter to thank Daddy too.  This follow-up is positive reinforcement and we men need to feel appreciated  - even praise for the simple act of lowering the toilet seat is revered among men.  

Of course you shouldn't have to go through all these steps; but, if you love your husband and want to make things work in your marriage, it certainly requires a lot of patience and a lot of give and take.

Good luck!

Answer 5

My husband helps me wake the kids up every morning, despite the fact that he leaves for work at 6am. He never leaves me to carry anything heavy or will even allow me to carry more than one bag of groceries.  

Answer 6

its normal not to help get the daughter ready for school because dads arent fashionably bright (no offense guys) and dont know what shirt and pants looks good together...

as far as tips...a father usually thinks its his job to pack the vehicle once you get everything out there and then to drive to the destination...

Answer 7

It should be father cause i did it all

Answer 8

Sorry, I let mine leave for work and I get both kids ready.  I guess it's how much he want or doesn't want to contribute.  Tell him your expectations!