Mother in Law...why is she suddenly soooo nice to me

Question

Hi,

i am recovering from traumatic childbirth ( 9 weeks), suffering from postnatal depression, main reason: MIL visiting us from abroad for 3 months!!! " to help with baby" ( her excuse).

she has been driving me mad, now it's couple of weeks before she leaves us, and i am keeping the count down!!

she is draining me with her ignorant comments, she is not bossy but she can irritate you so much that you want to SCREAM and throw yourself from the window!

recently, she told me that her daughter asked her to ask me to give her some of my clothes ( european clothes are the best as far as they are concerned)

i think i shocked her by giving her soooo muny nice items, even the ones that i am still using !!

guest what !!!

now she is OVER , TOOOO NICE , that it's irritates thousand times more , i dont hate her nor love her, i just want my own space, and stress free life in my own flat

the way she talks to me as if i am a Godess!! i feel like vomitting when she invites me thousands of times to eat more food ( for example) as if i am her guest, and she is a warm loving hostess!!

My husband curses people who love money too much, at the same time thinks that his mum has pure love for him ( unconditional) and does not expect much from him ... now i am shocked, but obviously cant face him with this contrast, he can already see how his mum changed once i gave her clothes and shoes!!

since she arrived here.. i have been feeling like running a marathon... the last part of it is the hardest...hours seem like years !!!

Answer 1

don't question it why, just appreciate it and move on...that's life..all families are different, its a waste to ask a simple questions, get over it.

Answer 2

At least your husband has seen her true colours.  Don't say ANYTHING about the change.  Well played I say to you.  She is obviously being nice to get more stuff.  What country is she from?

Answer 3

maybe she noticed u are not the bad person she thought you were

Answer 4

Lol lol lol. MY MIL is here for two months as I have had a baby 5 months ago and I know what you mean! Get used to it. Mne comes over every year now! I basically avoid her a lot...I let her have time with the kids but dont realy chat with her much..in the evening I take myself off to another room o watch TV in peace.  

Answer 5

Wow 3 months of MIL on top of the fact that you've just had a baby and your postantal depression. I really feel for you. I was also depressed after both of my kids and couldn't have stomached more than 2 hours of my own mother let alone MIL. Of course you want your own space. The fact that she is nice to you after you gave her the clothes shows she is a little (if not a lot) shallow. I can see your husband is in a very difficult situation but all i can say is hang on in there. It's not forever even though it feels like it. Why don't you get her to babysit whilst she is still vivsiting and go out with you husband? Use her as much as she's used you for the clothes.  

Answer 6

My sympathies for having to deal with your MIL invading your space when you're already weakened and vulnerable.  Ouch.

I would be suspicious too, but you may as well enjoy that she's being nice to you.  When my MIL starts being nice to me, I can assume that her son in law is on her nerves for now.  Once the son in law settles down, she'll go back to hating me.  I just enjoy that my kids are able to hang out with their grandparents without the usual drama.  Right now, her own daughter is out of control, so I've been off the hook for a while!

You're almost done!  She'll go home soon, and you can go get some new clothes!  You've earned it!  Hang in there.