Mother-in-law baby picture dilemma?

Question

Last night my MIL came over with some of my hubby's baby clothes from the early 1980's to show us her "time capsule". I thought it was cool, until she said that she wanted to put our unborn son (due tomorrow!) in these outfits and get professional portraits done in them. Unfortunately, these outfits are heinous! No, they really are. A couple of onesies from the hospital he was born at and a pair of overalls that are fringed at the bottom from being 26 years old! I really don't want pictures of him in those items being sent to all her friends and family (mostly because we know most of her friends- small town). Am I being unfair?

Answer 1

No its your little boy not hers.  I'm going through tough times with my MIL and i can relate cause its not easy. But just know that you need to put your foot down and tell her how you feel about those heinous outfits. I would want to do my own portraits. Ah don't you love your mother in law!  

Answer 2

Well, sort of. I have a 3 month old and have learned that the easiest thing to do sometimes with the in-laws is to humor them. As long as the clothes are washed in your detergent of choice first, it certainly will not harm baby and will prevent hard feelings. I would let the in-laws get a few photos in ugly clothes, get a few of your own in nice outfits, and see about sending "picture packets" to the mutual friends and family. Or, carry a picture of your son in your favorite outfit in your purse to show everyone you know. Bottom line is that you will more than likely have to pick your battles - grandparents can have a funny way of thinking that they have decision-making rights for your baby, and you may need to save your disagreements for bigger, more important issues.

Answer 3

Your kid, your rules.  As simple as that.

Answer 4

You are NOT being unfair! I would feel the exact same way. Its your baby and if you don't want him to have pictures taken in 30 year old clothing, then its your choice. I'd say no too! So tell her, you'd rather him be wearing cute clothing thats new instead of those. Good luck and congrats on your son :)

Answer 5

Unfortunately you are missing the point all together.  Baby's daddy wore them and she would like to see the baby in same clothes her son wore as a baby.  So what they may not be baby gap.  Its just a picture....... humour the woman

Answer 6

Wow, what a dilemma!  Well, just wondering, is she going to pay for the pictures?  I would say that you should let her do it.  Only because, if I had a grandbaby, and kept my kids' clothing, I may want to do that too someday, and if I pay for the pics,then what is the problem?  I know they are ugly and everything.  But you can tell people that you know that she used your hubby's old clothing, and SHE (not you!) thought it would be sentimental to have his pics taken in them.  So, maybe the clothes are ugly, but the baby is adorable, so who cares really.  Give this woman this one thing, and let her have the pics made.  Hope all goes well!!  

Answer 7

OMG of course your not being unfair this is your baby your talking about here yeh she might be the grandmother, but she has to understand that you want to do things your way, you have been waiting 9 months for this day to come dont let her take that away from you...i would sit down and tell you husband what you think and maybe he can have a word to her or if you wanted have a word with her yourself.

i hope this helped

and congrats =]

x*x

Answer 8

i kind of think it does not matter as long as she pays for them..and you could always pass out better pictures it would make her happy and besides the clothes being ugly i think the idea is very cute!but if you feel strongly just say no

Answer 9

Ugh, I know how you feel.  You wouldn't believe some of the c**p my mother in-law hung onto for 30-something years, just so she could pass them on to her grandchild.  Old stuffed animals, which she just didn't understand why I didn't want to place in my son's crib, after having been shoved in a box in their dusty attic for more than 30 years.  And I know she was pissed when I told her I didn't want their old bassinet--it looked incredibly rickety and unstable, and some of the wicker was pulling off on the inside.

It's a tough spot to be in, but you could try to be as tactful and diplomatic as possible, saying that you already have some lovely outfits that you intended for your son to wear when you have his first pictures taken.  Hopefully she will take the hint.

If she doesn't (as mothers in-law are known to do), you have the choice of either humoring her or just putting your foot down.  But in all honesty, this seems like a small concession.  It's not like she's asking that your son wear the clothes all the time, and she isn't looking to redecorate the nursery, so why not just let her do the pictures if it will make her happy?  Maybe she just wants to have the pictures to put side-by-side with pictures of your husband wearing the same clothing.  You might have to decide to choose your battles.  At least she isn't trying to choose your child's godparents for you (yep, mine did that).

Answer 10

I think your being a bit unfair. Let your mother in law have her fun. It obviously means something to her to see your bubs wearing his fathers clothes. Im sure when she shows everyone the photos she will be boasting to them all how they were his daddies clothes so they will understand why they are so ugly. And its not like they will be the only photos they will see. Just take lots with your baby in cute outfits and send them to everyone.

Good luck and congrats in advance

Answer 11

Wait until your beautiful boy is born and looks just like his daddy!  Putting him in one of those outfits and then taking a picture could be kind of a fun comparison.  Due to an adoption situation we don't have very many pictures of my husband as a baby.  We found one of him at 9 weeks that looked almost identical to my son at 8 weeks!  It was crazy but kind of cool.  And with my daughter, my grandfather had a red silk baby dress that he had gotten overseas in World War II that he had intended for my mother but got packed into storage.  So his great-granddaughter was the first to wear it, despite it being over 60 years old.  We took her to see him at the hospital and dressed her in it, took some pictures, then took it off.  I think he was tickled to see it, especially since he was so ill.  Let her take the pictures, it's harmless.

Answer 12

I had the same problem with my own mother..I just got pictures done in the outfit i liked and then one in her outfit lmao (my clothes from the 80's too)...that way she had her pic to make her happy and i got my nice pics...just make sure she isnt actually there with you for the pics or theyll all end up being in those clothes...

as for who sees them, well im sure shell want one of every pic and if theres only one of him in the ugly old outfit, then thats fine right? i mean im sure everyone will know its your husbands old clothes and theyll think its neat, not like your shopping at a thrift store lol...

good luck and i hope this helps...

congrats btw :o)