Mother-in-law in delivery room?

Question

My mother-in-law wants to be in the delivery room for the arrival of our second child. She was there for the first one. But now my wish is for her to watch my 3 year old this time. I asked her what her plans were, and without hesitation, she responded that she will be there... normally I wouldn't mind, but she is the only one that will be able to care for my 3 year old. She is always at home, as my mother works full time to make ends meet. How should I let her know my wishes without devastating her? She is the best option to care for my toddler as of right now.

Answer 1

Are you totally against having your three year there with you?

I know a number of women who had their younger children present during the birth.  If things got too noisy then Mother in law took them for a walk or lunch.   That way the younger children also get to feel part of the family.

Of course if it is at night then it is a bad idea.  But just ask and make sure she knows she is really needed and important.

Answer 2

Tell your man with the crazy mom to deal with this!!!!You deserve to be with your man and the baby at such a special time!!He better step up and let YOU be the queen!!Ive been there and it will be best for ya both!,he has to step up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

You just need to tell her straight out.

Answer 4

Explain it the same way you posted your question. Tell her she is the only one that you can rely on to watch your other child and that you would really appreciate her help. She should understand.  

Answer 5

Tell her that although you would love for her to be in the room with you, that you have no other options for childcare while you are in the hospital, and that it would mean the world to you that she watch your 3 year-old.

Answer 6

Letting her know how much it means to you not to worry about your other child might do it.  You will have enough going on and to have that concern handled is crucial.  She is being selfish if this isn't understandable for her.

Answer 7

Just let her know how important looking after your 3 year old is for you. I will be doing the same with my MIL in december : ) She was there for the first one too, but she lives closest and is most reliable for child care so she is gonna be babysittin for sure!

Answer 8

I would just tell her, but make her know what an important role she will be playing in allowing you to concentrate on the baby's birth because you know your child will be well taken care of.  

Plus, she gets to be the one to break the news to your child that the new baby is here (and to bring him to the hospital).  What a wonderful thing she gets to share with her grandchild!

Answer 9

Just be nice and tell her that you need her to look after your 3 year old and could she do that for you instead.  

Answer 10

Just tell her that as much as you would love for her to be in the delivery room that you really need someone responsible to be with your 3 year old. Tell her that she is the only one that you really trust to be able to take him/her on a moments notice that he/she is comfortable with. It can be scary for a 3 year old to see his/her mommy go into labor especially if it is painful and you know she will be able to handle his/her questions in an appropriate manner and help him/her feel secure. Explain how important this is to you and how much your 3 year old is going to need her. I am sure she will be disappointed but she will understand.