Mother-in-law moving in for a 4-month job.?

Question

Today my wife calls and asks if it would be okay for her mother to move in with us for a couple nights a week if she gets the job she is applying for in our city. She currently lives an hour away and would commute most days, but stay with us 2 nights a week. We have been married for almost 2 years and have a one year old child. We have a 3-bedroom townhome that is pretty crammed as it is. Mother-in-law is recently divorced and living alone with a long distance boyfriend that would not be included in the move.

My gripe is that she already has a stable job and the only reason she is asking is to not have to drive everyday, but..."she doesn't want to intrude on us..."

I don't want to upset my wife and make her think that her family doesn't matter...what should I say?

Answer 1

don;t do it buddy,  make her drive..  it is never the time they say it.  my stupid mother in law say she need to borrow my husband and mine van for a couple of month; she kept it for a year and a half. and never even paid the insurance.  when she finally gave it back the van was dirty and she did not even fill up the tank.  she will stay there and you will have to pay for everything and she will pay nothing,.DON"T LET HER IN YOUR HOME< BUDDY

Answer 2

what a lovely son in law you are (NOT)

Answer 3

Nick it is only a couple of nights a week, and she is your mother in law,  I realize that this can be very intrusive however she can also be a benefit if you and the wife want to go out for a nice meal she can look after her grandchild.  Four months isn't that long anyway.  If such a thing should happen as she gets this job permanently then you might suggest to her that she finds her own spot due to the lack of room in your house.  Your wife would probably like to be able to say yes to her mom.  But she should also be helping out financially as she will be using hydro, water etc.  Best of luck.

Answer 4

I let my father in law that I had never met before move in for six months only 2 months after I had gotten married.  I have 4 kids and it was my house.  My husband really didn't even ask me.  He just sort of told me he was moving in.  Then I was to be on vacation and I had to spend the entire time getting our basement ready.  I had a great deal of resentment but didn't express it.  I even thought about getting my marriage annulled because he came with a great deal of baggage (even though I had kids I also had a VERY nice house and a job that more than paid for my children and my bills).  He pays a ridiculous amount of child support, took all their debt (which I also had none) and then after only 2 months was moving in his father who did not pay a dime on electric, food, nothing.  I just about lost it.  But said nothing.  It was ackward at first.  Limits had to be set.  It ended with me getting to know my father in law in a way I would have never had the chance to if he didn't live with us.  My mother in law and I are still not as close just because she didn't have that time to stay with us because she was settling estate before she moved here and they purchased their house.  So my point is, It's going to be tough.  Very tough.  You will lose a fair amount of your privacy.  But, this is your wife's mother and what you are upset and anxious about may turn out for you the same as it did me.  Good luck but make sure you talk to your wife and tell her how you feel.  I didn't do this and there is still resentment that my husband just assumed it was ok.  I should have talked to him about this immediately.  So make sure you talk to your wife and make sure she listens to your feelings as well.  Good luck.

Answer 5

If you don't tell your wife how you feel now, it will only get worse and ruin your relationship with your wife.