Mother in law not in childs life?

Question

Alright, I need some advice. When i was pregnant with my baby (who is now 11 mths old) my mother in law was very excited...couldnt wait for her to be born talked about having her all the time even went to my dr's apt with me sometimes. In my last trimester we lost my father in law and in stead of it making the family closer it is now to where my husband & his mom arent even talking. SHe got to be very hateful at that time and was doing whatever she could to hurt my husband and I. Now my child is almost a year old and she has still not even asked about her to us. We have talked with her several times (enough for her to ask about her grandaughter) but she almost acts like she doesnt know anything about her. But she will go to family and get pictures.

I am really hurt by all this. Here she has missed out on my childs first year and she only lives about 20 minutes away. I dont understand how she can be so excited during the pregnancy then when the time comes act like she doesnt exist. My husband tells me to let it go and i feel like i should to a certain point. But it also really hurts and I dont know if i should say anything to her or just let it go.

Answer 1

She may have remarried, but your husband and the life you share with him is a constant reminder of what she lost. Even with a new husband, the pain of losing the first one must still be fresh.

Have you tried just telling her that you wish she was a bigger part of your child's life? She might not know that it means anything to you.

Answer 2

It sounds like she hasn't gotten over her own loss yet & I would stop taking her actions personally.  All you can do is continue trying to include her in family functions.  

Personally, I wish my mil stayed out of my life.

Answer 3

I don't think there's really anything you can do about it. If she's decided that your baby is something like a bad omen in her life, or if she just wants nothing to do with her, then you just have to accept it. You enjoy your child's life, and don't worry about her enjoying it. Its her loss!