Mother in law?

Question

so dont get me worng i love my MIL and my hubbys whole family(at times). But latley they have gotten on my last nerve. My husband is in the army and in Iraq right now so he cant do or say anything to them rlly. My MIL is always over cleaning and telling me how i stay home all day i should have this house spotless. I hate to clean period. so my house wont be spot less. With my first baby due in Aug. I worried she will over power me and take over the care of my son. Does anyone have problems with their MIL like this or is it just me???

Answer 1

you are definately not alone it seems like during deployments mils become even more controlling.  my husband is army as well during the last deployment my mil was so rude and thought she would tell me how to do things.  since then we do not talk and during this upcoming deployment in a few months i don't plan on seeing her at all.  congrats on the baby just make sure you let your mil know that it is your child not hers.   don't feel too bad my sister in law caught my mil telling her child to call her momma one reason why when we have kids i will monitor her visits.

Answer 2

My MIL is that way too. She would punish my 1 year old right in front of me. One time he bit me and she actually grabbed him out of my arms to yell at him before I even got a chance to say anything other than ouch. My son is 2 now and when he is hurt or scared he always wants me and he just cries mommy. When I bend over to pick him up my FIL will pick him up first and say that he doesn't want him to turn into a mommy's boy. When I put my arms out for him(because he is screaming mommy mommy) My FIL turns him the other way and says he needs to learn he doesn't need mommy all the time. So ya thats enough to tick me off usually. My husband and I say things to them but they just ignore it. We just don't visit very often even though they only live a few blocks away. The nice thing is that they never come to visit us. We have cats and my FIL is allergic to them so they never come. I really would like to get rid of my cats now that I am expecting baby number 2 and I really don't have time or money to care for them, I don't think I will ever be able to get rid of them. They save me in more ways than I could have ever imagined. My Inlaws constantly tell me I should get rid of them so they can come visit sometimes. Okay I'll get right on that.

Okay that read like I hate the people, I don't they have helped my husband and I out many times with money and other things. Its just nice to be able to dictate when we see them.

Answer 3

so stop allowing your mom so much access to you! you're allowing her to overstep your boundaries.

what i have done with people who overstep is, i dont always answer the door or their phone call if i dont want to.  i just refuse to allow them to interfere, period.  

you dont have to let people do anything you dont want them to.

anyway, if you dont like to clean, tell her so.  and continue allowing her to clean for you.  but then this will give her the authority to give "advice" on how you handle your baby.  she will take over.

i would just not let them come too close.  its up to you how you want to handle this.

Answer 4

Pull the car in the garage, lock the doors, close the curtains & hope she will go away. I would be nice right. Make yourself unavailable. Don't let her get to you. Easier said than done I know. She is perfect either she should not be judging. My MIL is alway give me a hard time about my house but she is the one who had 3 teens living at home that did all the chores & there was still cat fur everywhere. Best of Luck & congratulations on your upcoming BABY : )

Answer 5

We started to. You just have to be honjest and upfront. She may be "offended" at first. But what choice does she really have except to cede to YOUR wishes?

I am lucky with my mother in law as far as housekeeping. She understands and remembers that with small children in teh house it is NONSTOP cleaning and the place is still often messy.