Mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws this question is for you.

Question

I want responses from both to see the view points. I find that mother-in-laws rarely answer these types of questions so please do.

I haven't had issues with my mother-in-law in awhile since about 4 months before the wedding however prior to that I had a lot of problems with her.

But today she was acting like her old self again picking fights about every topic that I brought up (I try to change the topic when she starts to fight about it) and she also picked up my daughter, my daughter playfully swatted at her and she said don't hit Mommy and then she said I mean mamaw. I know it shouldn't be that big of a deal but I don't think it was an accident. She always calls my FIL dad to the kids and he calls her mom, she also tells my daughter to call her mama. Her kids are grown how can this be an accident--I can see them calling each other mom and dad out of habit but calling herself mommy to my daughter.

What do you think-am I overreacting? How would you react? Have you ever done this or has anyone ever done this to you.

Answer 1

Next time she says that, just correct her. Grab the baby from her and point to her and say "This is grandma, and then point to yourself and say Mommy..." I think she will get the point. I can't stand my MIL but when my kids started talking..my son would call both grandparents "mom and dad" cause he would hear me and hubby obvioulsy call them mom and dad...now my 2yr old calls them "momma and pappa"...I don't really care cause once my son got older he started to just call them "Grandpa and Grandma"

Answer 2

It is a little confusing to me why she wants to change what your daughter calls her so I can see you point. Unless you think she is crazy (really thinks she is her mother) I would not stress about it. You don't say how old your daughter is; how did she react? What does your daughter call her mother. That might be one way to address the situation by telling your MIL she is confusing your daughter by telling her to call her Mommy since she already calls her own mother Mommy.

Answer 3

Nope I am a mother in law my grand kids call me mamaw, sometimes they slip up in the excitment of telling me a story and call me mommy, i correct them by saying I'm mamaw. The next time she does it out of accident or on purpose say oh grandma lets not confuse the kids they know I am mom. If that doesn't have your son nicly ask her to stop. God kids have enough to deal with these days dont ya think.

Answer 4

As a mother-in-law and grandma I am extremely proud to be called grandma!  I feel it is an honor.

I would not want to be called anything that would confuse me with their mother.  I do not feel that is right.  I am already a mom and was very much looking forward to being a grandma!

If they did do it by mistake I would gently correct them.  

Answer 5

I don't think your overreacting at all, you and your husband are you're childs parents not them. You have to talk to your husband then confront the in laws together. When I came home with my first child my mil wouldn't leave me alone, telling me what she was going to do with my child, Even before he was born she did it, I keep my distance as much as possible other wise we have arguments and she wants to know why i don't like her crying etc. Making out she is just being "helpful"