Mother inlaws? they drive me mad?

Question

god where do i start,my mother in law does nothing for us,every time we've asked her to sit she cant shes going bingo,the only time she sees her gran daughter is if i take her to theirs or if my hubby goes to the pub when shes there,a few months ago i put a stop to going round

just to see if she would ring or come round to ours,and no she hasn't, my hubby went out to the pub yesterday and she was there,he came home said she was asking why i wasn't there,it used to always be on mothers day what we doing for my mum,hello ive a mum too who sits and helps out and we hardly do anything for her,so now im putting my mum first for once,everyone tip toes around his mum too scarred to upset her well ive had enough,my head is ready to explode,at the end of the day what does she do for me,nothing,what should i do?its her birthday today,hubby wants me to ring her,why should i does he ring my mum wish her happy birthday,no.what should i do keep quiet or tell her how im feeling

Answer 1

Ive had the same prob.  The people who are saying your being ridiculous because she has raised her kids and she dont have to babysit may be right.  However;  the fact is your children are her grandchildren and she should want to.  she should miss them and want to see them.  and not sitting for you sometimes or calling shows how much she really cares.  do not let her get the best of you and ruin your happiness.  but i agree with maybe you should be a little more stern with your husband going to the pub without you.

Answer 2

Its his mother tell him to ring her. He should be supporting you over this, but dont hold you breath. But just carry on as you are doing, ignore her and shee will eventually see the light. Good luck.

Answer 3

even though you may love your hubby and he may be a great guy,sounds like your mom doesn't come around because she hates him.when i was with my now ex wife i never saw my family.now i see them more often.that's because they hated her and now she is gone.they may be wrong for doing it but it happens.

Answer 4

i wouldn't bother with her. My mom would come first.  

Answer 5

are you kidding? she doesn't have to babysit your kids if she doesn't want to. those are your kids not hers. you are married. she doesn't have to do anything for you. u and your husband are supposed to make it work on your own, that's what being married is.  

Answer 6

You are like the daughter-in-law from h**l.  I think you're the one with the problem.  And enough of "hubby" already!

Just cause your mom babysits doesn't mean his mom has to.  She raised her kids already.  Keep hubby out of the bars and that might help things.

Answer 7

i know how you feel cause mine gets on my nerves. but the best thing i can tell you is to stand your ground and just be yourself.  

Answer 8

Tell your husband how you feel.  You should do for your Mom too.  If he doesn't want to call your Mom then don't expect it, and if you don't want to call his Mom, then he shouldn't expect you to either.  Sounds like you and your hubby need to sit down and talk about what is going on and then the both of you sit down with his Mom and tell her how you feel.  Let her know something is wrong.  If she doesn't know that something is wrong then nothing will change.  

Answer 9

She probably knows how you're feeling, you don't need to say anything. I think you're absolutely right to put your foot down with this woman. I don't think you either need to, or indeed, should say anything, however.

Your husband only wants you to ring his mother to keep the peace, so you'd be doing it for him. You could explain to him how you feel about his mother, and how she seems to have everyone under her thumb.  

Answer 10

Boy do I wish I was in your shoes - I would give anything to have inlaws that wanted to live their own life and leave me and my husband to live ours.  Just remember like I do - you don't have to be friends with her just be civil, if for no reason other than to set a good example for your children as to how they should treat you when you get older.

Answer 11

majority of the time sister-n-laws are a real pain in the backside!

Answer 12

join the club!!

I know exactly what you feeling!!

my parents were fantastic grandparents, by not mil!! - no way!

only last night I very politely told my husband that his mom is not invited to my sons b-day party, coz she's not a gran's " big toe"!!