Mother thinks she knows everything and won't let me raise my baby?

Question

My mother had me at a young age, and my father bailed out as soon as he found out she was pregnant. I'm also pregnant at a young age, but i know for certain that my boyfriend is sticking by me and helping me raise this child, he isn't going to bail out like my father did. but my mother can't seem to understand this concept. she gets mad at him whenever he refers to the baby as "his child" and tells me over and over again that she knows he's going to leave once the going gets tough. But i know that she's wrong. my boyfriend is more excited about the child than i am, there's no way he's leaving. it started as a joke, but my mom began saying that she was going to teach the baby to call her mom. but the more she says it, the more it scares me. i know she's excited about the baby, but should i be worried? what can i do to get her off of my back? i want the problem to be resolved before the baby gets here.

Answer 1

well, we cant change wut ur mom thinks, but, im guessing ur mom has more experience thn u, this is ur first baby, and i think she knows better thn u bout how to raise a child..

all i will say is that just go with wut ur parentz say cuz they hav more experience

:)

gud luck

Answer 2

I had my son at 14 And I went through the same thing as you. I know it seems that she is never off your case, But all she is doing is being the mother that she thinks she is supposed to be. She's just worried about you and thinks that because she went through some bad times, that your gonna have to go through it to. I think she is just tring to prepare you for the  worst so that "if" for some reason it does happen, you wonts give up. Because let me tell you, when you first have your baby.. things get pretty over whelming at times. Now Im not too sure about the " Im going to teach it how to call me mom" thing. Thats alittle wack, but Im sure if you just sit her down and have a serious talk about how you feel, she'll soon warm up to everything. an things will get better

Answer 3

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that your mom is probably right.  Sorry to say but young boys just don't "get into" parenthood.  As soon as there is a ballgame or a guys night or whatever do you really think he is going to stay by your side with a crying baby and poopy diaper?  A lot of husbands in a loving and committed relationship have a hard time with it let alone a teen.

The answer to getting her off your back... if you are old enough to be having a child then you should be old enough to support the child on your own.  If your mom bothers you that much, you and your man need to find your own place and live your own lives.  In is only in this way that you are going to "get her off your back".

ETA... ah yes you did  you said "I'm also pg at a young age".  If you were 21 and independant living on your own finances you wouldn't have had to write this question at all because you would know there was nothing to worry about.  Ah see, with age comes wisdom to infer these things!

Answer 4

You would think that people wouldnt follow everything their parents do. Usually when a mom has a child young so does that child. Your mom may be wrong about your boyfriend but shes just afraid for you, and instead of being mad at herjust try to see where shes coming from. The thing with her having the baby call her mom is ridiculous you just need to put her in her place on that one.

Answer 5

Say: "Mom, I love you very much, and I can't say often enough what an awesome job you did with me. I hope my boyfriend and I will always have your support and the benefit of your parenting knowledge and experience to help guide us through. You did a great job with me, and I didn't feel deprived because I didn't have a dad. However, for as long as my child has a dad in his/her life, I intend for the two of us to be equal partners in parenting. I'm sure you mean well, but some of the things you've been saying have seemed to me to be unsupportive of my child's father's contribution to our new family, and I'd like us to figure out a more constructive, supportive way for you to interact with him."

Answer 6

Go on welfare and get out.  My mother refers to my daughter as "her daughter" and tells her (she's 20 months old) to call her "Mama".  My daughter isn't allowed around my mother unsupervised.  I was 24 when I had her too.  My mother has also called social services on me about 7 times and they have to come out every time to investigate for my daughter's safety, etc.  They have started an investigation on my mother and are in the process of charging her for being a nuisance.  I live in an upscale neighbourhood, Hubby of 5 years works and I'm a stay at home Mom to a very smart daughter and son due in Sept, I can afford anything we need, and my daughter is clean and healthy and has never missed any appointments she needs.  My house is also clean and kept up every day and they usually just come to the door now and mention that my mom called and we go through the usual.  This only started when my mother started dating her new bf, who never had a family (he's 55 and she's turning 50).  I think my mom is imagining having my daughter as 'their' daughter.  Police are getting involved now.  

My advice to you, get out while you can!

Answer 7

she is probably afraid that he will bail - it happened to her she is just trying to protect you in a weird kind of way.  

Just talk to her one day she will see that your grown up enough to handle this.

Answer 8

i think she is just scared for you because that's what happened to her and that happens to a lot of people. But if your a 110% positive just tell her mom the baby is mine my boyfriend isn't going to bail on me and i'm sure he isn't and if he does i know your going to be there for me through hard time's.

Answer 9

humph! my daughter's grandmother is the same way and my daughter is 6.