Motherhood at this age

Question

in the next few years i really do want to settle down and start a family (pref out of college but if my husband is out of college and has a good job i'd prefer to stay at home for awhile then finish up college.

i'm only 21 but i was wondering if any other 20 year olds DO feel like domestic life is the kind of life you'd prefer to partying. also i've never been a partier and i don't drink anyway.

Answer 1

my boyfriend and i are also wanting to do the same thing, i'm 21 and a student with two jobs, and he's 23 and a teacher. neither one of us have ever really been partiers either.  since he's already done with school, he wants to make sure that i finish too. my mom had me when she was 20 and her bf walked out, all those things considered, she still was able to not just finish school, but she also went to secondary school and became a pharmacist as a single parent.my mom says that even though it was difficult, she wouldn't have changed a thing, and because of it, she has given my bf and i her approval and full support come what may. and knowing the strength that she has, and all the things that she has taught me, my boyfriend and i know that starting a family now is not only achievable, but a really good idea to start young so we have the energy to raise the child/children. any ways, i just wanted to tell you my story so you know that there are others out there who also want a family even if we may have just started our twenties. so good luck and baby dust to all!!!

Answer 2

you need to be on the same page as your partner when you start a family...if hes not done partying, you will resent him partying and you staying at home taking care of the kids...you are so young...give it time

Answer 3

Im 20 and have baby number two on the way, ive never been into drinking and partying etc.... id rather be a mum and wife :D

I love it!

Answer 4

I feel like that..I am only 18 but I am ready to settle. that sounds bad at 18 but im already pregnant...so it grew on me

Answer 5

PLEASE wait at least 4 more years.

i know what it is like to have a family at this young age.

i am 18, i have a 2 year old, and twins, as well as raising my 14 year old sister and 7 year old sister.

it is NO walk in the park and they are not dolls and they DO NOT do whatever you want them to do like people seem to think!

:)

Answer 6

I think any age is gud as long as your in a happy marriage, and have enough money to support your children, then yeh go for it!

Answer 7

There are LOTS of other choices in life for a 20-something besides having a baby and partying. It's unfortunate that those are the choices you see. I am a very maternal person and I've always loved babies and I love being a mom but, I really recommend waiting to have children until you are older. Your 20's are such a great time to learn about yourself and to have a good time and explore the world! Make some money, get an education, travel all over, take courses and seminars and do fun things -- go sky diving and dancing and camping on the beach in Australia and backpacking in Africa or work for the Peace Corps or volunteer to take care of needy kids. You have so many years ahead of you when you can be at home and take care of kids. That part of your life will be waiting for you for years to come. Find other enjoyments in life right now besides partying or having a baby -- please!!

Answer 8

I don't thinks that's abnormal. I'm about to be 21 and 24 weeks pregnant with my first child. My boyfriend is 27 so we're both out of the partying stage and ready to have a family. Age is how you make it. Just make sure you're financially ready and in a stable loving relationship. Good luck!

Answer 9

im 19 and im ok.. i can party sometimes... the thing we need to rememeber is we have our own lives and its essential we have time for ourselves.. but having responsibility for our own families will definitely make us better people.. so im happy that i have a kid at this age and im taking responsibility for myself.. :)

Answer 10

I am now 49 years old.  My husband and I have been married for 31 years.  We married very young, he was 19, I was 18.  I was a college student at the time and was never really into the partying scene.  We wanted to start our family while we were young and our first was born when I was just 20.  Our next 2 came when I was 23 and 26.  We weren't sure we'd have any more, but we were so young that neither of us felt comfortable doing anything permanent to prevent pregnancy.  I did well on birth control pills and took them reliably for 11 years when we quite unexpectedly (and very unplanned) conceived baby #4.  I was 38 when she was born and our older kids were 18, 15, and 12.  I love being a wife and a mom.  Our kids are now 29, 26, 23, and 11.  Our oldest is married and we have a wonderful son-in-law.  They have given us a most delightful and amazing grandson who is 15 months old.  I was a stay-at-home mom for several years when I quite by accident began to provide child care in my home.  At first I started by helping my cousin, who was a teen mom, by watching her newborn so she could finish her senior year of high school.  Word of mouth soon had me running a licensed child care home, which I have been doing for 20 years.  Everyone is different and feels called to a unique life that would make them happy.  For me, I have been very happy living the "domestic" life and have never much cared for partying.  I rarely drink mainly because I don't care how it tastes plus it makes me very sleepy.  My older 2 children were born while I was still working on my college degree and I graduated when they were almost 3 years old and 7 months old.  Getting married young and having kids young is not for everyone, but for us, we have been very happy.  

Answer 11

I always wanted to get married young and start living life - I was never into partying or drinking either. Hubby and I were married when he was 20 and I was 22. I'm now 28 and we've been TTC our first child for 2.5 years.

I say the younger you get married, the more happy years you'll get to share! :)

Answer 12

I'm with ya!

So many people say, live your life first, you are still at the partying age. Or go travelling while you are still young.

I dont want to travel at all, so If I did I wouldn't enjoy it. I am happy knowing that someone else my age is over the partying stage and doesn't drink.

I'm 22 and am SO ready to settle down. I'm having a baby soon and have never been happier.

Some ppl want huge houses and great jobs...some people want to party......some people want to settle down.

Each to their own.  

Answer 13

I was w/my now husband for 2yrs before we decided to get married, int he middle of planning this big thing I got pregnant. I was only 21. I was always a partier & the life of them too. I enjoyed settling down & starting our family. 12yrs later we're still going strong, I'm a stay @ home mom & it's the best. I wish I would have finished college, but I know it's something I can always do, my kids come first. Good Luck w/whatever you choose.

Answer 14

I am 21 and have been married to a wonderful man for over 2 years we grew up together and have the same goals. I am a domestic goddess ( house-wife) and I love caring for my husband and my home. we have traveled alot in our life I have been everywhere I have ever wanted to go and we have never been party people heck we don't even drink. We both have always wanted kids but wanted to have a couple years of wedded bliss before trying. now that we are going on 3 years we are ready to start TTC. we are very excited .  We have a home that we built and feel we are as ready as you can be to have a baby. So if you feel you are ready for that and your lifestyle allows it I say go for it as long as that is what you both want and are ready for.  

Answer 15

I'm 21 and I've never been into partying or anything like that. I'm excited to be starting my family :)

Answer 16

Im not really a partier, but Im sure not ready to throw it away and be Mrs. Somebody.

Answer 17

My hubby and I married when I was 20 & he was 22.  We wanted to start a family early but were not able to.  We finally had our first when I was 30 and our 2nd four yrs later.  I was never into the party scene and have been happily married for 17yrs.  I never felt like I missed out on anything.  I've been a SAHM since my first daughter was born & I love it!  I think it works for some and not for others, you know yourself better than anyone else.