Mothers, how do you think feminism has effected our little boys?

Question

Are our generation of sons growing to grow up ashamed of being a male?

I really think that feminists have gone overboard with "equality".

I'm afraid that we are going to be raising future women-haters because of the resentment our sons will feel.

What do you think?

Answer 1

I wouldn't worry about it that much.

I grew up in a fairly feminist household, and i'm not ashamed to be male.

Unless they are being constantly exposed to radical feminist ideals on a daily basis i doubt its a problem.

I have a little cousin, and he and i see each other alot because i babysit, he's 4. I teach him to respect all who come before him who offer the same respect in return. I do not focus specifically on women, but include them in this teaching.

That is more what its all about, not singling out women to be respected, but mutual respect for all.

Answer 2

http://www.boysadrift.com has some good answers, not so much related to in-your-face feminazism (which was a kind of bipolar reaction to male chauvinist piggism, and which is kind of disregarded by younger women anyway, as many of the gender equity battles have been won).

Also, "The He-Man Women Haters Club" was a feature of the "Little Rascals" some decades before 1960s feminism.  (It could be a phase :)

http://www.henrymakow.com is provocative

"For Men Only" and "For Women Only," Shaunti Feldhahn, are worthwhile YA resources.

"Soul Mates and Twin Flames," Elizabeth Clare Prophet, is good for new agers.

"Hope's Boy," Andrew Bridge, is a helpful explication of young male suffering.

Answer 3

As a teacher who has taught in Asia (several countries), Europe, the US, Canada and Australia, I feel somewhat qualified to comment that Australia, the US and UK in particular have very feminised forms of education.  Most of Asis is more concerned with functional literacy and education, not gender styled methods of teachin.  It works too, for boys and girls.We used to be like this.

I agree that feminism has passed eqyality and gone into elitism. But I am a man, and no feminist will credit my right to an opinion anyway.

As for "man-haters", do give most of us some due.  Hatred is not the only response to opression (whether you could consider it true oppression, or a socially engineered sense of being second-class).  I choose not to feel oppressed, and make goo the fight against inequality, whether it affects men or women, as much as I can.  There are laws that are egregiously anti-male in western countries now, and divorce and family courts favour women, whether they admit that or not.  I am no more in favour of any laws that support males at the expense of females either, but there are none of these left in western nations, so far as I know.

Sons will survive, and may need to fight social equality battles of their own, and this would happen anyway, I am sure.  

One thing I will always fight is the idea that boys and masculinity are fundamentally wrong unless they are defined and "guided" by feminism or feminist social engineers.  If girls can be taught to champion femininity in whatever form THEY choose, then boys must have the same right to be male and masculine.  Feminisation of boys is a grievous crime.

Go F Yourself:  same to you sweetheart.

Answer 4

Let me call them and ask, lol, they are grown up already.

One son is in the Army, he was just promoted to Master Sargeant and has done two tours in Iraq.  He really likes women and he loves his mom.

One is dead now, but he was the full time caretaker of his children for the last six years or so.

One son works construction, writes songs and sings and plays musical instruments (guitar, drums).  He is very alpha, but he loves his wife and mommy too and kids.

I have three grandsons, two are in the gifted program (two granddaughters are too), all three play football (one high school, one middle school, one little league).  

I think, at least in my family, the boys are doing good.  Oh, the 8 year old says he does not like girls...yet.

Answer 5

I have a ton of evidence saying that you are puting a boy at risk if you have no good male role models. But the feminests wont even allow you to think of this.

I have been working for almost twenty years to get women to take responsability for not getting pregant when they dont want to. But the feminists blame men. They also do not allow any one to say men should be blamed because they decided to trust a woman with birth control.

It is so rediculous that woman think that if the fool a man in to thinking they are the father and it is proven later that they are not, then we must go down the path of willful ignorance even though it does the children no good. Feminist defend this because it is financialy benificial to women.

In short, I believe feminists have been pushing for rights but pushed away responsabilities for women. And this damages all genders in future generations. But feminists dont care about future generations. They only care about now.

Answer 6

funny i dont feel ashamed of being a male nor do i hate women.

Answer 7

My mother was a feminist, and for much of the time, a stay-at-home mom. She never made me ashamed of being a man, and encouraged me to *act* like the kind of man that doesn't need to dump on women to feel good about himself.

If I acted like a jack@ss, that was a different story. She didn't wait till my father got home. She gave my backside a good paddling. Saved Dad the trouble. ;-)

Answer 8

all of my friends and family with young sons are raising boys who know that there is more to them than what is between their legs. They also know that they don't have to play war games or be violent or "act out" to be "real" boys. All of these little boys are being raised by feminists.

Answer 9

I think our sons will grow up respecting women and their rights.  I haven't seen any indications that boys are ashamed of being male!  

And if men hate women, it's not because of feminism; it's because of their own emotional inadequacy.

Answer 10

no way, I think if anything, they will respect women more than any other generation. its a good thing.

Answer 11

My brother and I were raised my feminists..and he's doing great. He is in the Air Force and he just graduated yesterday with a double major in physics and engineering. He got a job at NASA where he did his internship.  

Answer 12

I think feminists are sending bad massages,boys now drop out of school because they tell boys that just for being males they are stupid and will always fail at everything they do.

I used to love all women but since feminists starting the war on all males,There certain type of women I like(non feminists) but there are those who believe that girls are better than boys and that boys are stupid,those I hate.

Answer 13

i think feminism causes male children to be homosexual ...

i have 3 different friends with big shot high power moms and all of those guys are g*y

Answer 14

Little boys are just as defective as they have always been.

Eventually, they will become possessed by Satan's demons, and begin to have erections.

<shudder>

Answer 15

Not effected but affected!  Don't worry, things will get sorted out over a period of time equality between genders becomes the order of the day!

Answer 16

My son recently told me that boys are superior to girls.  I tried to patiently tell him that that wasn't true.  But he has seen how horrible his mom has interferred with child visitation.  There will be a tremendous backlash against women.

Those doing it will be called "terrorists."  

Answer 17

Why would they resent equal rights? Only disturbed individuals think that equal rights are somehow infringing on their own.

The boys of today will not become woman-haters, unless the are RAISED to be "woman-haters." And that has far more to do with how they see their father treat their mother, and how their mother treats THEM, than any other factor.  

Answer 18

Nobody and nothing can say it better than this:

"My parents divorced when I was six; my brother and I were raised by a single mother.  (Our father visited regularly, and theirs was -- thank God -- a civil and even cordial separation.)  It was not easy being a single mom to two very young sons.  We might have lived in Carmel, but money was tight at times, and my mother had to cope with all of the anxieties and doubts that come in the aftermath of a divorce, separation, and the assumption of sole permanent custody.

But as we talked about on Saturday, my mother also gave a great gift to my brother and me: she always made it clear that she wasn't sacrificing her life for us.   From the time we were small, our mother always took time for herself.  She had her poetry group, her work with the League of Women Voters, and other social and community activities in which we were not involved.  Now mind you, she was a loving and devoted mom!  My brother and I grew up knowing we were cherished and protected and cared for.  But we also knew that our mother did not exist merely to meet our needs -- she had a mind of her own, wants of her own, and she was going to make time for herself as well as for her sons.

What my mother wanted to do, and succeeded in doing, was liberating us from the horrible pressure of living our lives to pay back a mom who had "sacrificed everything for us."  My mom had seen too many parents devote everything they had to their children, with their only joys coming from their kids' successes.  She had seen some of those kids grow up into anxious and guilt-ridden adults, who were continually haunted by a sense that their mothers and fathers (more often their mothers) had given up so damned much for them.  There are few burdens more awful, she felt, than having to live a life that justifies all of your parent's sacrifices!

My mother was and is a feminist.  As I've written before, we grew up with Ms. Magazine and books by Germaine Greer and Kate Millett on the coffee table.  But my mother's greatest feminist lesson was this: she made it clear that we could not expect women to drop everything for us.  Relationships mattered, families mattered, love mattered -- but personal happiness mattered too!  My mother knew that someday her sons would be in relationships with women, and she knew enough to know that how she met our needs as small boys would be reflected in many of our choices when we became boyfriends, lovers, and husbands.   So she showed us two things:

1.  She loved us very, very much and always would

2.  Her happiness was not solely contingent upon us

I grew up with absolute certainty about both of these things, and it was and is one of the greatest gifts my mother could have given me.  My mother never, ever, gave us the awful speech far too many of my students get: "After all I've done for you, you owe it to me to..."  I've seen friends of mine who still struggle as adults to overcome the tremendous guilt they feel, knowing how much their parents sacrificed for them.  And while I honor that their parents did make sacrifices, I urge these same friends to not pass on this dreadful legacy to their children.  This doesn't mean abandoning your kids, mind you -- it's perfectly possible to shower your children with love and give them a sense of security while simultaneously making it clear to them from an early age that your happiness does not hinge on what they do!

So my belief in the importance of women's autonomy and personal freedom -- even as wives and mothers -- came to me early in life.  A first-born son growing up in a household without a father (amateur psychologists, have at it!), I was very close to my mother.  I still am.  And my adult feminism is linked in no small way to the lessons she taught me.  Motherhood, I learned, is a role -- but it need not be an all-consuming identity.  The fact that my mother had a life outside of her children gave me the confidence to live out my life without fear that I would destroy her if I made mistakes or deviated from a planned path.  Her commitment to her own happiness allowed me to make a similar commitment to my own -- and for that, I will forever be tremendously grateful."

Answer 19

i don't think it's effected my little boys at all.  They still go around saying things like "boys rule, girls drool" and "boys are better than girls", the same as little boys always do.  So far, they appear to be untouched by feminism.

Answer 20

Most boys don't even know what feminism is.  It's not in your face every day.  You can't say that boys are going to be ashamed of being male.  You must live in a dreamworld.

Answer 21

My little brother certainly hasn't experienced any problems of that nature. But he's never been one to succumb to peer pressure. He's always been his own person.