Mothers, how would you feel if your son or daughter told you they were g*y and were miserable, and blamed you?

Question

If your son or daughter told you they were homosexual but that they were miserable being g*y and blamed you for them being g*y, how would you feel?

There's a notion that a lot of g*y people are latching onto to explain why they are g*y. Instead of saying that it is genetics, they are claiming that hormones released in the womb or some hormonal imbalance in the womb causes a change in the fetus to make them g*y. So it is due to the mother, then, that they are g*y. So if they told you this and said they miserable being g*y and it was all your fault, then how would you feel?

On a side note, if you were to have another child, then would consider taking pills or shots to change the hormones in the uterus during pregnancy to prevent your child from possibly becoming g*y, just so that you wouldn't put them and yourself through the same thing again, of them being g*y and miserable and you being blamed for it?

Answer 1

" Okay, you're right. It is my fault you are g*y. I was such a horrible parent feeding and clothing you and paying for things you needed. I should stop paying for your college tuition, car insurance, food, and anything else you need since i'm so horrible."

Answer 2

There are plenty of theories always being tossed around for the cause of being g*y.  Personally I think its genetics, so while its 'sorta' the parents fault, in the sense that genes are passed down - placing 'blame' for something like that is just stupid.  Blaming a parent because you turned out g*y is like 'blaming' a parent that you have brown eyes instead of blue and are now being profiled as a terrorist in airports....who'd have thunk it eh?

Its one thing to assign blame for fetal alcohol syndrome - something that really was irresponsible on the part of a parent, its quite another for something that is well beyond a persons control like genetics.

And if they are 'miserable' - thats quite another matter.  Are they miserable only because they are g*y (unlikely in my opinion)?  Are they miserable because their parent rejects the g*y lifestyle and thus part of who they are (not to mention the person who is/will be their partner - and probably the most important person in their life)?  Are they miserable and depressed because of how SOCIETY treats g**s (I'd put my money here out of the 3)? Those are all completely separate things...and unless they answer 'yes' to the PARENT rejecting them for who they are...again, that is outside the realm of what a normal parent can control.

People can blame their parents for whtever they like; that doesnt make it true.  For every criminal who comes from a broken home or drug-using parents - there are many who had that same upbringing or worse who didnt turn out that way.  While its not quite an equal comparison since criminal acts are a choice and being g*y is not; should we blame our parents for things that might be hereditary?  Should I rip my mother a new one because she has lupus and I might have it too?  High blood pressure?  Diabetes? Cancer?  Are we going to make the argument that people who get more than a cold shouldnt be allowed to have children because they one day might blame their parents for whatever health condition they MIGHT get?  What about people who don't look like supermodels?  Should children 'blame' their parents if they dont end up looking like Angelia Jolie or Brad Pitt?

As for your 'side note' question...thats a tough one.  It may well be that one child turned out 'miserable' because they were g*y; should society pull their head out of their *** someday another child who turns out g*y might not be miserable at all....

Answer 3

Gosh, my kids can make me feel guilty for almost anything. It's amazing how many things are my fault!  I suppose I'd feel awful if I were in your position.  But then I'd do some research and find out if that theory has any scientific basis. (I teach a unit on gender roles and another on sexuality, and I haven't seen this notion in my textbooks, but that doesn't mean it's not true).

I think your daughter is confused and angry and looking for someone to lash out at.  Often it's the mom who becomes the target.  The best thing to do is remind  her that you have no control over what traits your children inherit, if indeed they inherit any at all.   You brought her into this world in faith that everything would work out OK, and, in having a child, you made a commitment to accept whomever that child turns out to be.   If she is g*y, you will still love her and be her mother.  Now she needs to accept herself.  Help her find a good counselor.

Answer 4

It seems to me you have an agenda here.

Most healthy, normal mothers would love their children if they were g*y or straight.  Most healthy, normal g*y people are not miserable being g*y, unless bigots make their lives harder for them.

Every sane person with half a brain knows that hormones aren't anybody's fault.  They're just a fact of biology.  Although there is little evidence to support the idea that these nebulous "hormones" make people homosexual.  The real cause of homosexuality seems to be much more complex than that, and includes genetic and environmental influences.

Read a book.

Answer 5

in my opinion...in today's world where people for the most part can be opened about being g*y.....but are miserable when they figure out they're g*y..doesn't quite work..usually they are miserable when they are g*y, but can't say so...so to me..if someone is g*y, but is miserable being g*y..then maybe they are not g*y? and just depressed..or bi polar, or looking for another reason to blame mom or dad for something due to deeper issues....

Answer 6

EDIT:  I'm sorry you're going through this.  I read Violet's answer and it sounds like your daughter is being dramatic and taking her anger she has with herself out on you.  I wish you peace and serenity.  You have done NOTHING wrong, mama.  I was mad at my mom at 19 and blamed her for everything going on in my head.  Later on I apologized and thanked her for everything she has done for me.  I'm really close to her now and I'm 29 years old.

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I'd tell them to get a grip!

I'd tell them to be happy with who they are and they don't see me moaning and crying at my mother for the fact that I'm 5'2" tall, or that my brother got the dimples and curly hair.

I'd tell them that it's not my fault they're unhappy with themselves and to just embrace their being and get over it already, drama queen!  You're g*y.  So what?  Be happy and find someone you love.  You live in a free country where you're free to be who you are so go with it.

I'd probably get them in touch with their g*y relatives too for a good head smacking.

That would irritate me to no end.  And no, I wouldn't take any artificial anything to prevent my kid from being who they are meant to be.  I'll love my kids g*y or straight.

I mean, shoot... would you take a pill that could guarantee your daughters all grow to be 5'9" and can't gain weight?  lol  I wish my mom had taken THAT pill.

Maybe my twins will someday tell me that they're miserable being twins and it's all my fault for ovulating two eggs that cycle.  I'll ask if they would prefer that I had an abortion.  Sheesh.  I hope my kids are never that dramatic.

Answer 7

I would feel that they were also stupid. As if hormones in the womb cause a person to be homosexual. Thats a joke.