Mothers & young sons? (Bathrooms)?

Question

Okay, so my little brother who's eight will obviously have to go to bathrooms outta the house at times. The problem is, it's usually just me, my overprotective mom, & him. When he goes to the bathroom, my mom drags him into the women bathroom which is illegal in NY since he's over the age of four, and it embarrasses him. My mother won't let him use the men's room in fear of him getting molested or something like that, like once my eight yr old brother, Aidyn & 13 yr old cousin went into the bathroom, so my 13 yr old cousin exited the bathroom since Aidyn was still in the stall. When my mother heard this, she flipped out and ran into the MEN'S bathroom. She can't keep doing this, it's wrong and beyond awkward 4 my brother. What have you mommies done with your sons about this? Thanks!

Answer 1

Well i got dragged into womens change rooms at my swimming lessons pool till i was 9 and the women still didnt really react. I think that by the time his 9 it should stop.  At 8 his still very young.

Answer 2

i personaly hate it when a mother drags her not so young son into the bathroom when othe ladies are there.  Tell your mom to chill and let the boy go the the freaking bathroom by himself.  he won't get molested.

Answer 3

my son is 9 and comes in the womans or he uses the diasbled or family toilets. HE WILL NOT go in the mens by himself. At our shopping centre 14 year olds have been raped in the mens. If a 14 yocan't defend himself how can a 9 year old?

Answer 4

At Canada's Wonderland (a big amusement park), two summer ago, a boy your brother's age was molested in the men's bathroom while his mother and sister waited outside. Why he did not scream I do not know, perhaps the man was armed or put a hand over the boy's mouth.  

I will not let my little boy (he is six and a half) use the men's room alone, the bathroom at church being the only exception because usually there is noone in it and if someone went in I would know who it was.  I definitely wait at the door.

We go for swimming lessons at our local pool (where I swam as a child) and my husband and I both thought it was fine to let our daughter shower by herself in the ladies room when she was six if he took her to her lesson.  I would love to give my son this independence and confidence  but there seem to be a lot more male deviants out there than female ones.  

In France, when I visited many years ago,  many bathrooms were co-ed.  As all the toilets were in stalls, public exhibitions were limited to hand washing.  Not something we need to do separately and I didn't have to watch my husband breeze into an empty bathroom while I stood in a mile long lineup.  Most had an attendant which could put our fears for our sons' safety at rest.  The attendant cleans and supervises the washroom.  I assume it pays something and one leaves a tip for the attendant, recognizing that a clean washroom does have its value in life.

Answer 5

Tell her (respectfully) that they're your kids, and they aren't going to get molested if they're alone for a few moments.

Answer 6

She needs to calm down and let that boy go to the bathroom.

Answer 7

She is doing serious harm to this boy. He is gonna grow up to be a major mama's boy. She should start letting him go on his own and if she is still scared she could always just stay at the door and wait for him. Tell her to LET THE POOR BOY GO TO THE BATHROOM!

Answer 8

I completely understand your mother's fear. I too, think about that. I have 3 kids, two oldest are boys. With my oldest, he came in with me until he was about 7 or 8.(he is 14 now) I talk with them about everything and explained stranger danger, and if anyone made them feel uncomfortable for any reason they could just come right back out. With my 6 yr old, most of the time my 14 yr old is with us so he will take him in, but if not I leave the choice to him. He usually chooses to go by himself on the Men's Room (I stand right outside though), but rarely he will come with me, depends where we are.

The world is so scary now-a-days!! You just never know! And you can never be too careful!!

If she just can't get over this fear, maybe she could not only talk with him about this, but maybe buy a little necklace whistle or something he could alert her with if there was a problem. She can always stand right outside.

Eventually she will have to allow him to go on his own. If she babies him alot with many different issues, it may be awhile before she will be comfortable with this.

Good luck!