Moved back home after college, trouble with parents?

Question

Since I moved back home after college, my mom has been a monster. One minute, she's fine, cool to be around...and the next, she flips out. She gets mad over the smallest things. Like if room isn't as clean as she'd like it to be or I leave something sitting on my bathroom counter. But when she gets mad over these things she goes on a tangent and takes it to a whole other level.

She says things like, i'll never make it on my own, going to fall flat on my face and she won't care, she's not going to help me, I cant even keep my room clean, how am I ever going to manage a budget, etc.

I do a lot to help out around here. I clean, get groceries, run errands. I'm also in a full-time internship, searching for a job and an apartment. I think she's out of line and take things too far-- but she doesn't see a problem in it. The things she says are hurtful. What can I do?

Answer 1

your not a child any longer......

you knew you were going to need to make plans after college... and it should not have included moving back home......

this puts a strain on the relationship......

find a job... move in with a friend or other relative till you find your own place.......... and soon.... like yesterday...

Answer 2

Well since your there and can't afford to move out, I think you should do as your mother wishes, and pick up after yourself, and have things the way she likes them, after all it is her house, and it won't hurt you any to do things right. After a while she will notice your making the effort and your relationship will improve, and if it doesn't then that is when you say, I am doing my best here, there is nothing more that I can do to please you. Then get a job for another shift in the day, once your off from your internship (yes you will have to work both jobs) and move out.

Answer 3

Could something else be bothering her and she is taking it out on you?  On a day when she is not preoccupied, sit down with her and calmly have a heart-to-heart discussion to get to the bottom of the problem.

Answer 4

Move out. But, in the mean time keep your darn room clean. It's her house, respect that. Stop leaving things laying around. Have some respect for her home and find somewhere else to live. Show her that you can keep a clean room. That you can be responsible enough to not leave a mess lying around.You said your in a full time internship. Get a part time job and start saving money. Get a roommate to keep the expenses to a minimum.

Answer 5

You've outgrown living with each other and it won't get better.  Move out as soon as possible, it's really the only thing you can do.