Moving and relationships: do I leave a good job, friends, family for a new job and relationship?

Question

This is complicated and I'm overwhelmed. Any advice would be appreciated.

I have a great job right now and live near to my family and friends. My boyfriend lives across the country and wants me to move out there with him. I have the opportunity to take a prestigious job near him (which could be very good for my career), but there is no guarantee of stability or success (which I have where I am now).

The BF doesn't want to propose until about 6 months after I move there to make sure that things are ok because we've been fighting. The fights aren't too frequent, but they're pretty bad. They only last a day or less and then things get better. He has a stable job and wants to have a family which is exactly what I want and would give up a career for. We've been together for about a year now which is rather short, but I figured we'd have a long engagement.

So, the question: do I leave my friends, family, and a great job to move somewhere new (where I don't have friends or family) where I have a prestigious job but no security or guarantee of success and a bf who may or may not end up marrying me?

And an add-on question: do I move in with him (he has a house that I helped him pick out and he says it's my home too) or do I get my own apartment until after we're engaged?

I really appreciate any incite you can provide.

Answer 1

oh man this is a hard one... if you have a really good job that's good for your career then I'd say to go for it but since it's not secure it's hard to decide. You might want to wait a little while .. like a few more months to make sure you'll even make it that far. With this time you'll have time to look around for more jobs that are stable and secure. You'll be able to tell your parents you plan on moving out and maybe they'll even help you. With the whole move in with him or get an apt.. i think you should just move in with him .. whether or not you helped him pick it out, you'd be moving out there to be with him so what would be the point of getting ant apt??

well i hope my advice is a little help to you.

Answer 2

Well I would and I have done something similar.  I moved across the country with my husband where he had family.  Some of the best things and some of the worst things happened there.  We lived there for ten years then moved back and I am so glad to be back!  But I do not regret the move nor the adventure even when it was difficult.  The climate in itself was completely an experience compared to where I am now.  I learned and grew a lot.  I like your idea of being in your own apartment for awhile, too.  Even if it ends up not working out ideally, as you want it to,  or ends up what you might consider a failure, I just think you will be a better person for taking the risk and for the experience.  I wish you serenity

I just want to add that if he is the one offering you the job or if you have met over the internet and your relationship has been mainly that and phone calls my answer would change to no way.