Moving in with my boyfriend and his family help!!!?

Question

ok im 19 year old college student that lives in new jersey and my boyfriend lives in virginia...my mom has been gettin on my last nerves and his family loves me and has invited me to come and live with them...problem...there is already 4 people living there and his sister and her 3 kids are coming to "stay" for a little(a while maybe till next year) that makes 8 people and if i move in that makes 9... they live in a 4 bed room house and i plan on going to school and getting a job while living there... what would make these living arrangments more plesant? any suggestions are welcome...

should i bring my own personal items??? im just trying to keep the peace

Answer 1

A really clear understanding about living there would entail is vital for everyone. I don't want to be a doom and gloom merchant but what if your relationship with your boyfriend ended?

Answer 2

Definitely sit down with him and his parents and share your concerns.  Let them know up front how you appreciate their offer and you want to make it as comfortable for them as possible.

Ask them what they expect and let them tell you.  If they act as though it is no big deal press them so that you will feel good knowing you will respect their wishes.

Communication always helps and never wait until you are angry to talk.  You will be so glad you did and they will love you more for doing that.  Good luck and get ear plugs...kids are loud!!!

Answer 3

well what i think u should do is ask if ur lke taking 2 much space jst 2 b polite and also bc theres lke 50 billion people staying there. so u should bring ur personal items and make sure u dont take up anybody elses space bc tht will get frustrating g'luck

Answer 4

What would make these living arraignments better? Not going.  

Answer 5

OMG !!

I live with my boyfriend and his family live right next door and believe me its a nightmare so I can't even imagine living in the same house with them...I am actually moving out soon (making my escape) and its gonna happen with or without boyfriend.

I totally understand that you and mom don't get along because it was the same for me and mine...we only became civil after I moved many miles away. So I could understand you wanting your space from her but I dunno if what you're getting into is going to be any better.

Just try to imagine....

You are a student. You go to work after a long day of classes. You wanna come home and relax...spend some time with your boyfriend...or study or just have some alone time or just take a long nap. But instead of quiet and personal space you come home to screaming kids, and family everywhere. All you wanna do is unwind but you can't ....what do you do??? Do you A) stay and make the best of it or do you B) turn around a head for a friend's house or a quiet coffee shop?? You can't exactly take a nap or a nice long shower in a coffee shop so what do you do??? Do you see where this is going???

Many people these days opt to live with family for the rent free benefit but that comes with many strings attached and quite frankly a lot of stress.

You're 19. You're still young. It's a 50-50 chance you and your boyfriend will make it and if you are living in his house with his family and you break up you will have to move out. If you really wanna give the relationship a shot I suggest you two get your own place for the sake of your sanity. It will also give your relationship a fighting chance.

Good Luck!!!!

Answer 6

oh my gosh girl, what are you thinking?  it's time to grow up AND smell the coffee. how dare you infringe yourself on this family just cuz you're tired of your mom.  if you study hard and get a job and clean your space you should be able to be adult about it instead of looking for a major rift in everyone's life.  time to grow.  and it would be mature of you to pay mom a little rent or food arrangements too.  now go, spread those wings!  work and study, work and study.

Answer 7

it is called going from the frying pan to the fire.

Stay home and learn to get along with your mother as this will be easier than learning to get along with eight people.