Moving to Penn State, while fiancee is in bootcamp/ait...

Question

Ok well my boyfriend and I are still really young, We are 18 and 19. He is away at bootcamp/ait and i was invited by my two bestfriends to move about 600miles aways from home to Penn state, I accepted the offer because Im not doing anything here besides waiting for him to come home. I told him that I wanted and was going to move, he compleatly freaked and told me that I should stay and wait for him. I kinda understand because my bestfriends are guys, but I think he is being inconsiderate because he expects me to sit around and wait. I would but waiting is a hard thing to do because my step dad is an acholic and is a very angry drunk (like tryed to kill me once, because I freaked when he hit my prego mother) he got better for awhile, but hes starting to drink again. It scares me, granted I love my family and boyfriend I just feel like I need to get away for awhile. (he was invited to move down there as soon as he gets home)

Should I stay and wait or be young and crazy and move in with my friends? Is it wrong what Im doing? What would you do?

Answer 1

These "friends" sound like they just want you to come party... and "getting away" sounds like an excuse to let go and do whatever you want. IF you truly love your boyfriend, you will stay and give it a chance to work without all the temptations of college and living with guy "friends". You wouldn't do such things a partying while he was deployed if you were married, would you? Or, if you do move, break up with your boyfriend so that when something "just happens" while you are away you won't break his heart.

Take it from someone who knows... the college "experience" is a bunch of bull. There's no point to it and it only destroys relationships. I was 16 when I went to college 19 when I got married, 21 now. I know I am missing out on nothing by having a "boring" life. Good luck.

Answer 2

If he is your boyfriend, I certainly would not be moving that far away to live with other boyfriends of yours.  That could be the end, and rightfully so, to that relationship.

Answer 3

Emily,

I'm sorry for what you're going through. That's a lot of stress and pressure for someone your age to deal with.

While I can understand your boyfriend's concerns, I also think that if he cares about you he'll understand your need to get away from someone who has tried to kill you in the past. His overall consideration should be your safety and welfare.

However - I will say this: I've been in boot camp, and I've been deployed. It is difficult for someone at a distance and with no power to hear their bf/gf/fiance' is going to move, leave, change houses/states, etc., while they are gone. That is especially true when they are with someone of the opposite s*x. Right now he feels weak and powerless.

Reassure your fiance' of your commitment to him. Help him understand your need for safety.

Good luck to you.

"Ranger"  

Answer 4

Why don;t you attend Penn State,