Multi Culture Marraige - What language should be taught first to children?

Question

My fiance is Spanish and I am Persian and we live in the US.

It is important to me that our children learn Persian. It is important for me to pass down our cultures to our children BUT he says that he doesn't care too much about his/my culture. He just cares to have our family.

My fiance asked me "What language will our children learn first?" I told him that I will first speak to them in Persian and him in Spanish because they will definitely learn English when outside or when we are all together since English is our common language. He said "I think 3 languages will be hard for a baby to learn."

That was not the reaction I wanted to hear. Do you think I am wrong and what advice do you have in multi culture marraiges?

Thank you

Answer 1

well  at first they might speak spanglish but it's perfectly normal I have babysat for many children who are picking up the language it is very important to start young and by the time they do go to school theory will definably be able to pick up on the most dominate which would be english and if u always talk to them in your own individual language they will defiantly respond to each parent in that language but keep to the same language sedately dint speak it in the same room because that will defiantly confuse  the child.

Answer 2

English I think is the best first language. I speak Tagalog and my husband speaks Czech. We've had that conversation before as well, but came to the conclusion, English first. I'm learning how to speak Czech and he's learning how to speak Tagalog. We figured we both need to know each others languages if our son is going to learn them as well.

This is great for grandma's. My husband's mom speaks nothing but Czech to our son and my mother speaks Tagalog. It works out great that he can understand each language while both of us are learning too.

Teach your children when they're still young, or learning to speak. It's not hard for them to learn, they're at the age where all they do is learn!

Answer 3

Babies are designed to learn languages. They will learn as many languages fluently as are spoken to them. Speak to the baby in all three languages, and it will learn them all fluently by instinct. There is no need to emphasise any language, or teach one first. Babies learn language by instinct, and only from the ages of 0 to 4. Speak them all simultaneously. The baby will figure them out. It's designed to do it.

Answer 4

yeah all 3 ... but start with english and go on adding words of ur language ... the baby will learn even while hearing u guys conversing and pick it up ...

Answer 5

YOU LIVE IN THE USA RIGHT? OK...THEN RAISE YOUR KIDS TO SPEAK ENGLISH!!!

Answer 6

From the beginning, you should speak to your children in your native language, and your husband should speak to them in his. If you understand each other's language, you should also (in front of the kids) only use your native languages to each other. This is apparently the best way to bring up babies bilingually because it helps them separate the two languages from each other as they develop. Based on this, I think it would be too confusing for the children if you both also tried to speak English to them - perhaps you would be better off asking someone else who sees the children a lot to do the English part.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Don't leave it up to the schools to teach them English..... they will be too far behind by then.

Make sure they understand the language of the country you are in....

and also toss in your own culture, as they are able to handle.

Answer 8

I've heard that each parent should address the child in only one language until it is mastered.  It is called the immersion method.  However, I don't believe you should assume the children will just "pick up" English.  They won't.  I've taught children who have parents that do not speak English.  They needed intensive remediation in the English language.  Education has a category for these children "English Language Learners."  So give some thought to one of the primary languages in the home being English.  If the child becomes bi-lingual it will be easier to pick up another language later.  

Answer 9

He shouldn't worry.  You are right.  Children can easily pick up three different languages.  Up to the age of 15 or so our brains are designed to easily pick up new languages we hear around us, without limit to the number of languages, and we can learn and differentiate between many new languages.  After that it is much harder to learn even one new language.

Also, newborn babies can pick up the differences in sounds that are used in every language.  If you are not exposed to languages that use those sounds when you are an infant though, you lose the ability to differentiate between all the sounds and can never relearn at any age.  

Aside from the sound issue, it is going to be more frustrating to the child if you start introducing a new language to them that they don't know when they are older.  If they are used to hearing you speak that language with them when they are a baby, they will just be used to speaking that language with you.  

Oh, and there is a lot of evidence that babies can differentiate between languages and tell when you switch over from one language to another so you don't need to worry about them confusing the different languages.



I would definitely do as you suggested and have each of you speak your respective language with the kid as soon as they are born.

Answer 10

The answer is...there is no one correct answer. This is one of those communication and compromise situations that married couples have to decide on their own, for the well being of their family.

Best wishes!

Answer 11

I think that you should do what you suggested, you speak to the baby in Persian and your husband in Spanish and  he will learn English at school.

I am Spanish and I am married to a Romanian guy and that is what I am planning to do. I don't think it would be hard on the baby, when they are younger is the time to do it! GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 12

Children at such a young age have a language acquisition device which means they pick up language very quickly. If you expose you're child to all three languages equally, he should become fluent in all of them.

Answer 13

I would teach the child English first so that it can relate to it's peers. There is plenty of time to teach the child other languages. I also think that it is a good idea to teach it other languages b/c it will give the child a taste of your cultures as well as a leg up on it's peers. Good luck...and remember, you and your spouse aren't always going to agree.  

Answer 14

speak to them in all three; babies are VERY adapt at learning

Answer 15

childhood as children are developing language is the easiest time for them to learn different languages.  It will be natural for you to point out items such as "bottle", "toy", "hand" to your child.  When you do this say the word in all three languages.  They will learn as they develop.  It will be much more difficult for them to learn the other languages if you wait until they are older.  Also, I would not hesitate to teach and speak in English, as well.

Answer 16

personally, i believe the language of the country they are in should be learned first...it will be important for them to be excellent in it when they are out without you. just for safety reasons.

my sister is in a similar language situation. our first language is spanish, second was english and her husband is greek, so they taught english as a first language to keep the kids from having difficulties in school.

Answer 17

Kids pick that stuff up better than you realize. However, they should focus on the prominent language that is used in their environment. That would be english if you live in the U.S. Unless you are moving back to your home country, the other two won't have as much use as the english. Don't make a big deal out of it. Just do what you like. And your husband's comment about caring to have your family shows that you are making a big deal out of it. Good luck!  

Answer 18

The language of the country you live in should be taught most.

It will help him intergrate into the community.

From a detached point of view, spanish is more important as he will be able to take it at high school (guaranteed A), and its the second biggest language in the world.

Also, the baby will find it hard to differnciate from many languages, i think 2 is enough until they are 3/4/5.

Answer 19

I know you are right for I have a friend that works in a Medical Store

she has the job the because her father only talked to her in his language

and her mother only talked to her in her language she learned  from  NA Na -English

from school and her friends.She said by the age of 1-1/2 her mom told her

that she was talking is 3 languages.Your and your husband to be

children will very much benefit from your multi Culture marriage.

congrats and live a happy long life together.    

Answer 20

Under the age of 5 the more exposure a child has to different languages the easier it will be for that child to grasp and speak when your child gets older.  But I would start with the most dominant language first being spanish and then persian and english will be forced upon your child in the world around him/her.  

Answer 21

im spanish and my husband is american and we have talked about this truth is children growing up hearing two langages will confuse them and they will not speak right til later...my brother didnt speak til he was 4 or 5....so since we live in america and our kids will be going to school here they should learn english first and once he he can speak better i plan on teaching him spanish..anyways he may pick up some of your language if he hears it

Answer 22

You live in the USA so teach them English and teach it well. Then a little bit of both. Of course Spanish books are going to be easier to find then Persian books and I hate to say it but will be used more. Don't think about what YOU want but what is best for your child.

Answer 23

My family speaks 4 languages and I can tell you exposing your kids to more than 2 languages at the same time is not a good idea. With all due respect, Spanish might be more important next to English because these are the two most common languages in the US... Unless you have plans for your kids to live in Iran then Persian will be very important. Hope that helped, good luck!

Answer 24

Children are not 'taught' language, they pick it up from their environment. Since English is spoken all around them, that's what they will pick up first. You can only go on speaking to them each in their own language and they will learn at their own pace. Neither of you can forbid the other to do that.

Answer 25

Babies and children can pick up on languages faster than adults can, but I think I would teach them the language of whatever country they reside in first. They need English to make it in this country, so teach them English first then introduce Persian and Spanish to them when they have started picking up on English, like the alphabet and such.

Answer 26

I am a school psychologist, and I have found that children who speak multiple languages often have difficulty in school. They have a hard time thinking and formulating responses in English.

Teach your child English first, since that is the common language between you and your husband. In addition, the child will most likely be using English most often.

The child can learn spanish and farsi later in life (after 7 years of age).  

Answer 27

It is very obvious to me that the first language you will be teaching your children is the language you two, as parents, use to communicate with each other !  It should give the children a central communal language to use with all immediate family members without any segregation.

And secondly the language of the country you set up "home" in !  

In your case, I have a feeling they would both be English.  Assuming that you don't speak to your man in Persian and him to you in Spanish!?

This would also solve the problem of which parent teach the children their language first.

I would expose the children gradually to both Persian and Spanish as children learn very easily and are adept at adjustments if you don't put limitations and confusions into it.

What's wrong with being tri-ligual toddlers???