Mum has a mental problem, i need help on how to handle her?

Question

This is really long, but i'm just trying to explain how it got to this... its only half of it really...

I was 8 at the time. A close friend of hers died and mum was suffering depression. A family friend had recommended her to see this acupuncturist. It was around Christmas and she was writing Christmas cards to people and my dad just randomly decided he'd have a read of them and fond one she had written to her acupuncturist about how she loved him etc. She got really angry and ran down the the street with us since we really saw her as our primary parent her being a stay at home mom.

I think they were trying to sort things out sold one of their properties and were looking to buy a new house in another state. While we were down there on a really rainy day she jumped out of the car and said she was leaving. I remember holding on to her leg and telling her to take me with her and she said no.

My dad drove the car around and my oldest brother 21 at the time told me and my little brother 5 at the time not to worry, that he would be our mum.

She came back 3 months later, I remember her sitting there and telling my dad about how she went off looking for this acupuncturist who had moved with his family because she wanted to be with him.

Eventually my mum decided to move to another town and me and my little brother went with her, it was the worst i remember just walking around for days carrying bags looking for a place to stay.

We then moved overseas with my dad after a few months. My dad had always encouraged us to stay in contact with her.

6 years later we returned. She tried to take us at the airport when we were picked up by our oldest brother and we were escorted out the back by security. I told my brother that i wanted to see her so he went looking for her. She had completely changed, she had dread locks and smelt bad and carried all of her stuff around with her in broken suitcases and wore torn clothes.

She got in the car and after a few words with my brother she tried to jump out of the moving car.

I now have a life of my own, I'm the only person in the family who tries to accept her for what she's become. She can't hold a job and i've told her that she can't get a job the way she looks and she starts saying that its everyone else that is ugly and that she not going to change for people.

She loses her temper really quickly, talks about all these guys who like her when clearly its not the case, thinks she's in love every time she meets someone new. She only likes really young guys like 20 and she's 50 this year (she keeps saying she's sweet 16 and never been kissed). she won't ever listen to what your trying to say, She constantly criticizes other women and always says how other people look really ugly and boring. She keeps saying really horrible things about my partner like asking if he put arsenic in the dinner. My little brother hates her and she keeps calling him honey bunny. If ever i'm on facebook she'll come around and ask me who i'm talking to to ask if they have any blond dready friends. She asked me to set a facebook up and her name got rejected then she started going off at me, because she has changed her name to something ridiculous, saying that it was rude to go and tell them she'll go somewhere else.

I know there's something wrong with her mental health, does anyone have any ideas on what it could be? How can i get her some help?

I've told her see needs to see someone but she just goes off her nut at me saying that there's nothing wrong with her that she gave massages to psychologist all around the country and that they paid her $170 and told her she was the best and that there was nothing wrong with her and that my father tried to get her locked up in a mental institute and she's not going to let that happen.

This is only half of what she does.

I just came out of major surgery, the reason she's with me is because she said she's going to help me out at home.

All she done it stress me out incredibly i've been looking after her more than she has me, she keeps letting the dog in and jump all over me and my stitches.

Complains she's lost stuff.

I really want her to leave so i can get some rest but she'll be out on the street again. I know she's been attacked before and i don't want her to get hurt. She hitch hikes around the country.

I really need help? Please someone

Answer 1

If you could just get her to a medical doctor you could get a diagnosis. Then apply for social security for totally disable, even thou she may have never worked.  Then apply for housing.  Or, call social service agencies that work with the disable for guidance  

Answer 2

Does she hear voices too?  If so I would say paranoid schizophrenic.

Answer 3

I have a family member like that. She need to be in a mental hospital. If she is not willing to go that can be a problem. You will need to have the police come to your house and have them talk to her. If they think she is not well and somewhat dangers they can make her go. So if thats what you want have the stereo on loud one day and try to make her nutty I am pretty sure you know how to do this. I know how to make my cousin flip out in like 3 sec. then call the police on your home tell then the stereo is to loud and the lady in there is crazy. They will examine her and take her to a hospital then a mental home. Then she will have to say there if the judge orders it. I hope this helps. Also try praying for her.

               Thats a good way to get her out of your home and keep her save and get her the help she needs. sounds like she has skito and some other stuff going on with her. I bet some days she is totally normal and other day she flips out. They start to think that everyone is out to get them and tell you that someone said something mean to them or. Then you come to find they did not say nothing.  

Answer 4

she needs a mental institution. she is crazy

Answer 5

Whoa, seriously, you need to ask a real psychologist about this, not just some people on the internet. Your mother doesn't have to go, go yourself and explain. He may be able to help without actually coming into contact with your mother. And if you say the psychologist is cute or something maybe your mother will go by herself or with you at least.

Answer 6

Your mother is not crazy and i cant imagine where she would be if she didn't have a caring daughter to look after her over the years. the weirdest thing about mothers is that they give away there entire lives to their family's...husbands and children and in the end youll find many mothers who are abandoned by their children and husbands. you will find that they are truly hurt by that because they feel that ,, it is like betrayal. the best thing you can do for your mother is exactly what you are doing. your mother just needs someone to care for her, she probably will annoy the c**p out of you but if you show her how much you appreciate her i am sure she will try her best not to be a pain in the butt. she has probably been through some rough paths over the years and she just needs you to be their. i would consult a doctor, to make sure everything is ok with her. i dont really know whats going on,,, but based on what i have read i really think the best thing you can do for her is exactly what you are already doing. Heaven is at your mothers feet and if you can please the women who gave birth and worked so hard for you, you will create a bond between you two and she wont be a burden any more.

Answer 7

That must be tough on you, not to mention a tough way to grow up.  Stealing from a couple posts, finding a cute psychologist and convincing her that if she is diagnosed and unable to work she would qualify for SDI isn't a bad idea.  Of course, she'd have to care about having some money for it to work.

No one here can diagnose no matter how much info you provide.  Your mom could have many things - a personality disorder, drug addiction, mild schizophrenia, medical problem.  Or a variety of things.  If your dad says she was very different when they married, the personality disorder is highly unlikely.  Those develp early in life.  Schiz usually manifests by 30 but there are exceptions.  Schiz also almost always includes withdrawal from social interactions.  There are a few other delusional disorders.  Medical would be a number of conditions.  See if you can talk to a psychologist if you have a few hundred dollars for it.  If nothing else, it might help you understand.