Mums new boyfriend what do i do?

Question

ok ill tell you the story from the beginning so you don't get confused. my dad walked out on me my mum and my sister about 3 years ago cause he cheated and i hate him and haven't talked to him since i miss the dad he was the one that loved me and wouldn't do anything like that.

now my mum is seeing this guy he thinks hes cool with the kids and treats me like I'm thick! he flirts with her when I'm there which is sickening and feels her up as well! yuck! I'm happy shes moving on but i still want my old dad the new bf gives me the creeps and i cant even talk to my mum i come second now i liked it just me mum an sis we were happy

WHAT DO I DO!?

Answer 1

It is great that you are accepting that your mother's life is moving on, because you have to face the fact that over time your life will do so too. What you really are missing is being able to discuss things openly with your mum (and sister) which now that there is someone else there you don't feel able to do.

The best thing you could do is speak to your mum to let her know how happy you are that she is happy and has someone special but you don't want to lose your together time as a result. Suggest making a set time in the week, every week, for example Saturday afternoon, time where it is just you and your mum (and your sister?) even if it is just an afternoon going shopping or visiting relatives etc. To make this work you both (all) need to be committed and will not allow other things get in the way of spending this time together. Whilst spending this time together you will find you will have conversations naturally and you will be able to discuss a lot the things that have been worrying you.

I think your mum will be really grateful for this as she will not want to lose the special bond she has with her daughters.

Best of luck

Answer 2

if your mum is a good mum then trust me hun you and your sister will never EVER be second.  maybe have a chat with your mum to say you feel uncomfortable with the way he speaks and touches her in front of the pair of you.  im sorry you learned why your parents split up - i always believe that children should never know the true cause as it always affects the relationship between parent and child.  you have to forgive your father - he obviously fell out of love with your mum and i know it hurts but its a fact.  your father is still your father but just so happened to meet someone else.  there was no point in him staying with your mum because if he was unhappy believe me he would end up making you all miserable.  im sure your father loves you dearly.

your mum is entitled to feel loved and to give her love to someone who deserves it.  unfortunately you cannot fill the void that your dad has left - only a responsible man can do that.  I know you hate your mums bf but Im sure you think she deserves to be happy again - would you begrudge her that for your own selfish desire?  if you got your way how would you feel?  your mum would have to tell the person she loves that she cant see them anymore because of her daughter.  that would only make her miserable and you open up the possibility that she might slightly resent you for it.  

Answer 3

You are not coming second in her life.  She does deserve a life and some happiness.  Your dad is not going to give that to her.  Your dad cannot come back into the picture.  That is something you have to get a grip on.  If this guy makes her happy, be happy for her and make the best of things.  Don't be a difficult child over this.

As you are finding out at an early age, life is very complicated.  Maybe you should discuss with her how it makes you feel when the boyfriend is overly affectionate in front of you.  Tell your mom you are happy she is happy, but uncomfortable about the way they act in front of you.  Be honest in a loving way.  Don't give up on your dad.

Answer 4

tell your mom that he is Mr. nasty man and touched you in your no no place.  That should break things up pretty quickly.

...or you can lighten up and realize that divorced parents have lives to and are naturally going to be dating again.  TALK to your mother and let her know you are feeling left out, 2nd best, and neglected.  This dude is being inappropriate by assuming you are to naive to understand the groping and flirting he's blatantly doing in front of you and it creeps you out.

Nothing like a little bit of honesty and truth to be tactlessly blunt when something is bothering you...  just let her know!