Muslim sisters: If your husband asks your permission for a 2nd (or 3rd or 4th) marriage, how would yo respond?

Question

Will you grant your permision? (say, you both love each other sincerely & you don't have any problem physically or mentally)

Answer 1

i love my hubby with my life but i would ask for him to divorce me cuz that will be unbearable for me. i just cant imagine him sleeping and giving his love to another women. Women who have sister wives are strong and i admire them for handling it.  

Answer 2

This is exactly right:

*gets the keys*

*starts the car*

*drives off and never comes back*

That's what will happen.

Answer 3

I would never ever agree! If he wants to marry again, i will question him on my faults and make him explain why he needs another wife..?

Answer 4

If he loves me so much, then why would he want another wife? What kinda love is that? And especially if theres nothing wrong with me, and he just wants to bring another woman, then ill think hes very inconsiderate and insensitive for not thinking of what i will feel. I would ask for a divorce for sure. No woman can live with another woman, especially if shes sleeping with ur husband.

Edit: Brother, everything was different back then. There were too many war widows, and they married them to protect them and help raise their children. Now in our time, even a disabled person can take care of herself. Women are sensitive, and very emotional, and to just even think of her husband marrying another wife, just kills her. Why do some men have to be selfish and inconsiderate to her feelings? Men use this as an excuse... Well, Allah swt gave me the right to marry 4 women.

Ok, that is true, but under conditions of course. If the wife is a loveable wife who already has children and is fulfilling her duty as a wife, then why bring another woman and destroy everything u had with ur wife and kids. I think a man who has this kinda wife, shouldnt even be thinking of another woman.

Answer 5

Muslims like you brainwashed by the west are so clueless. This is a very rare issue amongst Muslims but becuase the kuffar highlight it Muslims talk alot about it.

mohammednzr- i dont know- how many sahabas can you name that are alive today?

Answer 6

I'm not a jealous,  possessive, & needy person.

I like time to myself.

if I had  Beachfront property, & my husband wanted more wife's, I would be fine with it.

Answer 7

Honestly , I will kick him .

Why do u think am learning Kick boxing?

Answer 8

I know in Islam its Ok for the husband but I would say no especially if we have children. NO!

Answer 9

I'd be mad. But then again, the husband doesn't have to ask the wife.

Answer 10

No I would not grant permission, we talked about this before marriage and both agreed that we  don't practice this. I cannot/won't  share my husband with another woman.

Answer 11

Nope, I would say na-ah.*shakez head.

Thankfully my husband thinks I'm too much and if he can bear with in patience me he will earn his jannah:-D

Answer 12

well, i willthell him the truth: you don't even stisfy all my needs (don't spend enough time with me), are you going to when married again??

Answer 13

It depends.

If my husband is a good Muslim, I will allow. If not.....then NO.

Answer 14

*gets the keys*

*starts the car*

*drives off and never comes back*

That's what will happen.

Answer 15

To be honest in 2days world i cant imagine a situation where that will ever happen. In the past it was more acceptable and circumstances were different (ie war ravaged) i dont what excuse a man would have 2day for polygamy

Answer 16

Honestly, if you want two wives go for it.  But we all said we didn't want that kind of drama in our lives.  Please don't judge the sisters on here for wanting a good, calm life.

I know someone with two wives.  All his kids (22 of them) are now against polygamy for some reason...

I saw home movies of their family.  The competition between the women is never ending.  That is women's nature just like it is men's.  Men are jealous, too.

That's why polygamy is an exception and not a rule or norm.  Because physically it can be done and makes sense, but practically it is a DISASTER.

Edit :  And I have met 2nd wives.  They have horrible personalities.  So empty.  Anyone who would do that to another woman is very selfish.

Answer 17

I considered my husband taking a third wife(I'm the second wife) because for some reason I can't produce children and neither can my co-wife. But it would break my heart and devestate me the point that if my husband got married again, then I wouldn't have s*x with him anymore and wouldn't even let him touch me.  In fact I wouldn't live with him in the same house.  I wrote my husband a 3 page letter describing my feelings to him  on being a middle wife on 08/02/2008 and Alhamdulillah he does not want to marry a third woman, as it would be impossible for him to take care of more then the two of us.  My husband has enough trouble supporting two women, but Alhamdulillah he does well, since my co-wife is in her home country, and our husband and I are in my country USA.  As we know, bigamy is against the law in the USA.  My husband loves me too much to lose me, and he couldn't bear to do something that he knows would hurt me beyond repair.  I don't think he could live with himself if he did something that so upsets me.  He was forced to marry me against his will by his first wife.  I would not force him into doing something he detests and have him hate me.  I plan on starting ovulation tests in September, and FertileAid for Women in October, because I don't know when I'm ovulating which is why I haven't gotten pregnant yet.  We plan on starting the process of fostering to adopt Insha ALLAH next month, providing I get a job to support myself through school.  So no, I could not bear to be the the middle wife.  That would destroy my heart and soul beyond repair.  But I am fine being the last wife.  This does not bother me.  

Answer 18

it was common with the sahaba, but it is much less common now.  Bottom line a woman can accept to be a co-wife or ask for a divorce and that is her right.  No where in islam does it say she has to accept being in such a marriage.

Answer 19

marriage is important.. There are various ways in which you can see this...

1) if you and your husband are good friends and lovers especially if you have children I do not see the point of another wife.  If you make him happy why should he want another wife..

the quran speaks about other wives in war and to take in orphans and widows..

But the true point is in today's world with the long working hours a man hardly has enough time to spend quality time with his children and wife, if he has a second family he would be missing out on the other family and vice versa...

I would want my husband to be a good father and present husband so as long I feel i have something to give him and make him happy I wouldn't give permission..

If we have been together for long years and our children grew and I have no more to give him then I would leave him and let him marry who he likes but not share him.

Answer 20

I think it all depends on timing.  Right now no...later, maybe I'd consider it more.  We're very happy together right now, and just starting our family, so it would be very difficult for both of us if he were to marry another woman.  Later on, after I'm finished having kids, then maybe things would be different.  Especially, if he wanted to marry a widow or a divorced woman with kids.  

Answer 21

well if they are smart then they would deny the man and if he persists then leave the geezer how dare he want another woman if he is already blessed with one woman who is loyal to him its not fair for him to marry another becaue polygamy is on valid if the wives are treated equally which in todays time period is impossible!

Answer 22

Well he should be equal with each wife and he should deal with them in the same way giving one house, one car, children, money, love and what else to each wife.

I think that even the most muslim in the world wouldn't be able to do such a hard thing. Also Allah tells: "but if you fear you cannot be equals with each wife, so have only one wife".

My husband has'n the possibility of doing that and even if he had all these possibilities i would say NO because i want to feel his single queen.

Answer 23

i think if you had a good marriage and you felt he was serious it would be best to talk to him.

my husband jokes all time about this.i think people along time ago had more wife's because times where different.i could never share my husband but however more than 1 wife is allowed with wife's consent.

Answer 24

Assalamo aleikom wa rahmatulahi wa baraketu,

My first instinct has always been a very strong "No" but my  husband and I have taken the time to talk about this subject calmly and have come to the conclusion that he can't afford to have a separate family, nor does he have the strength of character to have patience with another wife because marriage is a huge responsibility, it's not about s*x and accumulating women. He'd be accountable for both families with Allah subhana wa ta'ala and he fears he could not treat us equally.

Now a second issue if we came across a sister who has had a very bad life and is in dire need of help then maybe for the sake of Allah subhana wa ta'ala he would choose another wife later on in our life when we're economically stable and in that case I don't feel jealousy because I cant deny a sister in Islam to be clothed, fed, and protected especially if she is a little older and is struggling with children.

Allah knows best.

Ma'salam.

Answer 25

my husband jokes about this constantly.. (dont get me wrong, we have a great marriage).. and I being the jokster back.. tell him. "certainly, go ahead.. maybe she wont demand as much as me.. haha!.. and make sure she is a millionairess and gives me a car in the deal and sends me on a world tour,, you'd like that right?, you can have the house all to yourselves while I tour the world"....

this is my usual response to my husband request for another wife..

Answer 26

no.

actually i will make a condition in our marriage contract that he doesn't marry another one.

no kidding.

edit:

@asker..jelousy of the woman on her husband is not haram,the mothers of believers was jealous from each other..

and i am using a right that islam gave me :)

Answer 27

"..you both love each other sincerely & you don't have any problem physically or mentally"

If he still aska me such a qstn,I'll trap him in false case so that rest of life he spents in jail..I wn't divorce him and he can go enjoy with another lady..He has to suffer for his crazy insane thoughts...