Muted emotions as a Christian issue?

Question

I've been struggling with having "muted emotions".. meaning, I don't feel very much emotion.

This is most likely a result of my teen years, I lived apart from my family, and generally apart from adults from the time I was 14 on in a reform school. It was a pretty horrible situation, and after about 2 years there I just sort of stopped feeling emotions.

After I got saved, this got significantly better, but I still struggle with this, especially when I "sin-binge" and grieve the holy spirit.. I just feel rather dead emotionally.. I can feel things, but like I said.. the emotions are muted.

I'm not going to a therapist to deal with this, because a lot of the abuse at this school occurred in therapy.. I was brainwashed to believe that I had been abused as a child, my therapist used bizarre methods on me that caused me a lot of distress...

so, is this described in Scripture? Or does anyone else struggle with this?

Answer 1

This reaction would be normal in a person who went through what you went through.

I'm sorry you endured all that -- I urge you to try therapy again, if you can, or read some self help books if you don't feel safe seeing a counselor (understandable considering what you experienced).

Let's look at your teen years -- you had grief, separation, trauma, isolation.  All those things can make a person shut down. If it helps you cope, it's ok, to a degree.  But I'm glad you recognize this, because eventually, we either deal with  our grief or our grief will deal with us.

Answer 2

You sound like a new assassin character from a movie i'm writing.. You just need some love honey

Answer 3

Simply a personality issue. Some people are emotional, others are not. Perhaps you belong to the latter.

Answer 4

Hello. I really hate that you are going through such a time as you are. I cannot remotely say that I know what you are going through, but I have heard family and friends express their feelings. I also watched a girl, similar to what you are saying you are going through, on the Joyce Meyer show one morning who said she ended up in a mental institution for I think maybe 6 yrs or so, maybe less and that nobody believed she was that serious in need of help. She said she felt nobody understood and then one day came across Joyce Meyer's book "The Penny" and she finally found the release from God she needed. Joyce went through a very abusive childhood too. I can't say it will do the same for you but I do encourage you to not give up if the book doesn't help you in some way down your journey toward God. Don't give up. He's with us every step of the way. I am not an abuse victim, but my only husband is buried next to one of our sons and God sees me through, day by day now. It's not an overnight process, but just see it through and He will see you through. :)

Answer 5

Not knowing how long it's been since you went through such a traumatic period makes it difficult for me to address the issue.  (Note:  It's a long post; reason given at the end.)

***Before I go any further, I should say that to me it sounds like you accepted Christ but have not been nurtured as a "newborn baby Christian" should be.  The want to was there but sounds like know one ever took the time to "disciple" you.  This many recognize as a huge problem in the body of Christ.  People get saved but are not supported and properly educated on God's word so... ***

If this is recent you may need to give yourself time to not only learn to trust again but to re-adjust to a safe environment.  I'm not a therapist and not professionally trained in psychology but what you described as stopping emotions seems to have been a defense mechanism--you were in what I call "survival mode."  Life has changed and you are more in control of your own life but, again, I don't know how long it's been so I couldn't say that you should be "back to normal" by now.  (I used quotes because the standard for what is "normal" varies from person to person.)

I don't quite understand the "sin-binge" concept or why you would want to do that.  You state that you struggle with lack of feelings after sin-binging.  You can stop.  That is, with the help of the Holy Spirit.  Being saved is not a "license to sin."  Yes, everyone sins but there is a difference between falling down (unintentional and/or unknown sin) and jumping down (willful sin).  Once we are saved we submit to the Holy Spirit.  If we make mistakes we repent (stop and turn back to God)--that doesn't mean "until the next time."  It means STOP.  And we can with the help of the Holy Spirit and with obedience to the commands of God and Christ.  Making the decision to accept Christ is a serious one and afterwards we should not waiver on our commitment--He didn't waiver or compromise with His commitment.  I'm not "questioning" your salvation but what you wrote about "sin-binge" and "grieving the Holy Spirit" seems that you do this routinely and don't see any harm in doing that.  It's pretty much being "double minded" by God's standards--and also sounds like you are a little "lukewarm" about your faith.  Not meaning this as derogatory but telling you what it seems to me so that you understand that you can do something about THAT also.  

***We are ALL sinners saved by grace but we do fall down and THEN we get back up and TRY not to fall again by submitting to the Holy Spirit and being led by Him.  If we are saved, calling ourselves Christians then we should NEVER feel "comfortable" about sinning.  This uncomfortable feeling when we sin is called "conviction" and it's a help to us by being a barometer telling us we have sinned.  Get up (repent and ask for forgiveness) and do better because you know better.***

For more details on double-mindedness commentary at the source url below.

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"A double minded man is unstable in all his ways."  [James 1:8  KJV]

***There IS a solution***

"Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded."

[James 4:8 NIV]

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Get serious about your faith.  Get into the word--get close to God.  Develop a relationship with Jesus--get to know each other.  Love them; let yourself experience being loved by them.

Honestly, from what you've written you are actually feelings some things quite strongly and one of them sounds like fear--fear of dealing with your emotions in general so you may be suppressing them without being aware of that.  Maybe also some anger issues because you were forced into situations that were not ideal for any child or young adult.  Finally, the lack of love from adults and the nurturing and guidance that goes with that love could cause some "feelings issues" to arise for anyone.  (I know it would have affected me had I gone through what you've described.)  ***Again, I'm not a professional and am basing my thoughts on what you've written.***   Our emotions don't go away but we humans have the ability to push them back--intentionally and unintentionally.

You state that you won't see a therapist because of past experiences.  Forgiveness will put you in a position to begin to trust again.  All therapists are not "bad."  Also, there are some very good Christian counselors and therapists available.  As I said before, you are more in control of your life and environment now.  Now the decision of whom to see as a therapist or counselor would be yours.  ALSO remember that we have the Ultimate Counselor in the Holy Spirit.  He's there for you--in your corner.  Remember that when you "feel like" grieving Him with your "sin-binge" -- perhaps it will help you not to do the binge thing.

*****Do any of us struggle with our emotions?  You bet!  Even Jesus had moments of emotional distress.  He wept, felt sorrow, experienced   emotional agony.  (In the Garden of Gethsemane:  "And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground." [Luke 22:44 KJV]) Jesus had emotions but His emotions did not have Him.*****

Bottom line regarding our feelings and emotions:  We have to trust Father God, just as Jesus did, no matter what we feel and no matter how things may seem.  If we believe and have faith, the more we mature spiritually, the more we will have the desire to do God's will.  When you are in His will, things start straightening out.

Get closer to God:  "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."  [Matthew 6:33  KJV]

(Sorry for the lengthy post.  Readers don't like long post but I'm answering YOUR question not theirs.   Had many days in the past when I just didn't know what to think or feel so I didn't want to leave out anything that might be helpful for you.  Blessings.)

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